So there I was on a cold snowy Saturday begrudgingly working. I was an accountant for the American arm of a British steel trading company whose offices are located at the top of the Empire State Building. All 100+ stories of it. [The British part/influence meant you could drink booze at lunch with no repercussions, and pay-day came once a month.] During an audit a sh--faced Brit accountant was acting very perplexed. I'm surposed I coudl see it on his glassy eyes. I had to gently and diplomaticaly excplain that 05/13/98 was the 13th of May not the fifth of some month he could not name that come after December, but is not January. OY VEY! Took a few tries. I ended owth we write the date backwards. The month comes first. O I C ! *LOL*
In to the elvator (lift) walk two ...er uh.. *COUGH* Dixies, yeah Dixies.
Him three teeth, balding, pony tail, flannel shirt overalls,
Her ditto with boobs and feminine itch.
Dixie: Ya'll work in this here tall building?
Yankee (me): Yes sir. (Thinks "OH BLOODY HELL! HERE WE GO.") LAWD why ha thougu forsaken me?
Dixie: I plum don't know how y'all live in this here vertical city. (Thinks, yeah, it's TOUGH without farm animals to show your affecion to.)
Dixie continues: We all ain't got none of these SKA-SCRAPERS or nuttin'. (and based on your speech and thought patterns you could use a few schools as well.)
Yankee: It's all what you get used to I suppose.
Dixie: Yeah I recon so. I'd never be able to live here without mah truck and mah shot-gun. Ah hear cr-ahm is a problem in this here city. There are so many people and handguns here.
Yankee: Loudly, purposely stirring in coat; huffing, puffing agitataed. OH HELL. Pardon my language miss.
DIXIE: What's the matter mister?
YANKEE: You just remined me. I left my handgun on the kithcen table. I feel so nekked with it! Have a nice visit, Enjoy our finer city. Please come back again.
They were scared to death. EEEEEEEK.
I played up every nothern stereotype I could think of.
OK OK it had nothing to do with being southern, I think they were from a one-horse town.
