Just as Francis of Assisi watches over the world's animals, and Ronald McDonald oversees Mayor McCheese, Grimace, and the other inhabitants of McDonaldland, I hereby invoke the authority of my online ordination (where is that damn wallet card of Certification?) to declare Ben Washman Patronus Absolutus of all things Speed Queen.
Does that mean that we now have to bow before his gracious omnipotence? Or can we still get away with the obligatory wave and shout, "Hey, How the hell are ya dude?