Affairs of the heart
- Thread starter veg-o-matic
- Start date
Help Support :
Sometimes. one bumps in Mr. Right when seeking our Mr. Right-now. You just never know.
Remember~ it is only true love when returned. Without reciprocity there is nothing. Those who demand love and attention and affection and have expectations of others are frequently hurt the most.
Sometimes love comes when one stops looking for it. So frequenlty, people think they see love when it is not truly there.Only by giving love, (and we must love ourselves FIRST) can we receive love.
Love takes time to blossom. If it's immediate it may be a response to being paid attention-to, or perhaps some form of physical attraction.
True love means wanting what's best for the other person, even when that does not include you.
True love is patience, forgiveness, tolerance and going in with one's eyes WIDE open to the other's faults, not denying them.
True love is giving of yourself with total abandon, even if there is no WIFM (What's in it for me?)
Love, like many things, is a handful of sand. Hold it too tightly and it slips through your fingers. Hold it too loosely and the wind takes it away.
oh, and most of all..... True love is WORK. LOTS OF WORK.
And lastly, my personal favorite.. No one else can make you happy or complete...THAT IS YOUR OWN JOB.
Your quest is a very noble one and one that I hope rewards your deeply and richly. Peace and healing to you.
Remember~ it is only true love when returned. Without reciprocity there is nothing. Those who demand love and attention and affection and have expectations of others are frequently hurt the most.
Sometimes love comes when one stops looking for it. So frequenlty, people think they see love when it is not truly there.Only by giving love, (and we must love ourselves FIRST) can we receive love.
Love takes time to blossom. If it's immediate it may be a response to being paid attention-to, or perhaps some form of physical attraction.
True love means wanting what's best for the other person, even when that does not include you.
True love is patience, forgiveness, tolerance and going in with one's eyes WIDE open to the other's faults, not denying them.
True love is giving of yourself with total abandon, even if there is no WIFM (What's in it for me?)
Love, like many things, is a handful of sand. Hold it too tightly and it slips through your fingers. Hold it too loosely and the wind takes it away.
oh, and most of all..... True love is WORK. LOTS OF WORK.
And lastly, my personal favorite.. No one else can make you happy or complete...THAT IS YOUR OWN JOB.
Your quest is a very noble one and one that I hope rewards your deeply and richly. Peace and healing to you.
More things Veg & I have in common
First, our first names aer both Bob! Second, Veg, you wrote exactly what I always wanna say on all my profiles, but it owuldn't be read, but I odn't vary much from what you already stated on my various profiles. I still haven't given up hope, yet, and I'm much older than you. OY. What's a bear to do. Quick, where that jar of honey for Tigger & me!!
First, our first names aer both Bob! Second, Veg, you wrote exactly what I always wanna say on all my profiles, but it owuldn't be read, but I odn't vary much from what you already stated on my various profiles. I still haven't given up hope, yet, and I'm much older than you. OY. What's a bear to do. Quick, where that jar of honey for Tigger & me!!
partscounterman
Member
Veg-You know we are all like family around here, so I think it's great you posted this here.
This spring I was really bummed out about my job situation (you know). Lawrence/Maytagbear suggested that I post a similar type of "prayer request" but I was too chicken so I had him do all the dirty work. He sent an email to many of the "high priests" around here. WOW-you could almoct feel the spiritual power and within a coupla' weeks I was working at Hawaiian Isles Kona Coffee. Now I'm not saying that we can pray a man right into your arms, but the collective spiritual consciousness of this group is amazing.
Perhaps Mr Right is here on Maui. Have you visited your travel agent yet?
Good things only for you!
much aloha!
David
This spring I was really bummed out about my job situation (you know). Lawrence/Maytagbear suggested that I post a similar type of "prayer request" but I was too chicken so I had him do all the dirty work. He sent an email to many of the "high priests" around here. WOW-you could almoct feel the spiritual power and within a coupla' weeks I was working at Hawaiian Isles Kona Coffee. Now I'm not saying that we can pray a man right into your arms, but the collective spiritual consciousness of this group is amazing.
Perhaps Mr Right is here on Maui. Have you visited your travel agent yet?
Good things only for you!
much aloha!
David
vinvac
Well-known member
Veg
Try Yahoo personals, that is where I met Mark.
Be careful and be true to yourself. It sounds like you have some very good values so you can afford to be choosy. The right person for you is out there but first you have to beleive in yourself and know going in that it is your choice.
Until then your family is here and we will support you..
Morgan
Try Yahoo personals, that is where I met Mark.
Be careful and be true to yourself. It sounds like you have some very good values so you can afford to be choosy. The right person for you is out there but first you have to beleive in yourself and know going in that it is your choice.
Until then your family is here and we will support you..
Morgan
They come in pairs a theory
Seems I have always met 2 prospective partners in a short span of time. Which leaves one to a difficult decision. I thank the Good Lord I made the right decision 15 years ago. LOL seems you are either Lonesome Dove or Sex in the city. PeteK I agree strongly with you. even though its nice to say US, one needs to maintain their own personal identity. The balance between too clingy and too distant is very narrow... but then again sometimes on your very lucky day, you find Just Right, and usually when you least expect it. Now Veg get out there and find TWO, and have an elimination round.
Seems I have always met 2 prospective partners in a short span of time. Which leaves one to a difficult decision. I thank the Good Lord I made the right decision 15 years ago. LOL seems you are either Lonesome Dove or Sex in the city. PeteK I agree strongly with you. even though its nice to say US, one needs to maintain their own personal identity. The balance between too clingy and too distant is very narrow... but then again sometimes on your very lucky day, you find Just Right, and usually when you least expect it. Now Veg get out there and find TWO, and have an elimination round.
oxydolfan1
Well-known member
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2006
- Messages
- 1,764
I'm still collecting my thoughts on this issue, since I'm in pretty much the same boat as you are. You are, actually, light-years ahead of me, because you're willing to open your heart and try, whereas I haven't been able to summon up the same courage (and it's been more than a few years in my case).
Bad things can and do happen to anyone (I was identity-frauded by someone I met "doing something we both had in common and enjoyed", and, I'll tell you, even though I've forgiven him in my heart, I still haven't picked my jaw up off the sidewalk, so...)
There has to be a balance between being able to trust enough to develop a real relationship in the first place, not overcompensating out of insecurity and and ignoring red flags your brain puts up and your heart conveniently ignores, and not unconsciously bringing any damage, instilled from past wolves in camoflouge to some innocent, unwitting new soul who hasn't done a thing to deserve your wrath.
I'm new here, and not quite sure what I've stumbled upon on this board, but, based on what I've read so far, I'm impressed by the quality of the advice the boys have given thus far. I'm cautiously optimistic that, if you're clear as far as what your biggest concerns really are, you'll get some great insights here.
Thanks for sharing.
Bad things can and do happen to anyone (I was identity-frauded by someone I met "doing something we both had in common and enjoyed", and, I'll tell you, even though I've forgiven him in my heart, I still haven't picked my jaw up off the sidewalk, so...)
There has to be a balance between being able to trust enough to develop a real relationship in the first place, not overcompensating out of insecurity and and ignoring red flags your brain puts up and your heart conveniently ignores, and not unconsciously bringing any damage, instilled from past wolves in camoflouge to some innocent, unwitting new soul who hasn't done a thing to deserve your wrath.
I'm new here, and not quite sure what I've stumbled upon on this board, but, based on what I've read so far, I'm impressed by the quality of the advice the boys have given thus far. I'm cautiously optimistic that, if you're clear as far as what your biggest concerns really are, you'll get some great insights here.
Thanks for sharing.
hoover1060
Well-known member
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2005
- Messages
- 3,309
So many emotions...
Toggle,
Your words are beautiful and so very true. Thanks for sharing them!
Veg,
How I admire you for putting yourself out there. Not so long ago I fell for a really awesome guy, and how sweet it was. Sadly now we are apart, for no other reason than it's best for both of us.
I so admire your courage and strength, I wish I had 1/2 of it!
I'd like to give you some words I wrote a while back. I got the idea from a friend, and came up with this little poem. When asked, I've told people these words are my heart, which they really are . Tonight they are for you. I called the poem "Wait"
Wait for the guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who stays awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,
who wants to show you off to the world when you're wearing sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the guy who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the guy who turns to his friends and says,".....that's him."
Toggle,
Your words are beautiful and so very true. Thanks for sharing them!
Veg,
How I admire you for putting yourself out there. Not so long ago I fell for a really awesome guy, and how sweet it was. Sadly now we are apart, for no other reason than it's best for both of us.
I so admire your courage and strength, I wish I had 1/2 of it!
I'd like to give you some words I wrote a while back. I got the idea from a friend, and came up with this little poem. When asked, I've told people these words are my heart, which they really are . Tonight they are for you. I called the poem "Wait"
Wait for the guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who stays awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,
who wants to show you off to the world when you're wearing sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the guy who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the guy who turns to his friends and says,".....that's him."
And to you Jeff
Thanks for sharing your poem "Wait"
Very true and touching.
Thanks for sharing your poem "Wait"
Very true and touching.
oxydolfan1
Well-known member
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2006
- Messages
- 1,764
One helpful thing you might want to think about right off the bat is how far you are willing to travel to meet someone new, and how you'd feel about possibly relocating, if you met the right person.
Jeff, I was that guy to someone and he still dumped me!!!!! I am the one that won in the end but it still hurts like the devil!!!!
Love with a lid
I experienced love at the age of 54. It began as an agreement for mutual pleasure without relationship. When it shifted to love the experience was amazing. The other participant was being stretched way beyond his comfortby feeling something he never expected to happen.
I had a HUGE breakthrough. Everytime I perceived an expression of love I went to newer and higher expectations, often beyond what he was ready for.
We had "Come to Jesus" recently. I simply let go of expectation. At first it felt like defeat and then I realized he was afraid to demonstrate love because I would run with it.
Love with a lid on it, or love with no hope, set us free. I simply savor each moment and don't look for anything beyond. It has allowed him to stop worrying and just fall in love with abandon, because I don't EXPECT anything more, in that moment. Like the desperate housewife I was slowly causing him to withdraw.
Love, for us, has been easy and gentle. No Sofia Loren drama, just easy.
Kelly
I experienced love at the age of 54. It began as an agreement for mutual pleasure without relationship. When it shifted to love the experience was amazing. The other participant was being stretched way beyond his comfortby feeling something he never expected to happen.
I had a HUGE breakthrough. Everytime I perceived an expression of love I went to newer and higher expectations, often beyond what he was ready for.
We had "Come to Jesus" recently. I simply let go of expectation. At first it felt like defeat and then I realized he was afraid to demonstrate love because I would run with it.
Love with a lid on it, or love with no hope, set us free. I simply savor each moment and don't look for anything beyond. It has allowed him to stop worrying and just fall in love with abandon, because I don't EXPECT anything more, in that moment. Like the desperate housewife I was slowly causing him to withdraw.
Love, for us, has been easy and gentle. No Sofia Loren drama, just easy.
Kelly
bobofhollywood
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2006
- Messages
- 457
ya, but..
I've tried to meet you a number of times, and to no avail.
What's a fella gotta do? Remember when I picked up the Maytag AMP from up Dundalk way (near baltimore) and I tried to get you involved? Waddup wid dat?
Dude...single...in Maryland...appliance & phonograph guy.
Let's play a record and do some laundry. Maybe bake a cake.
Holla from Hollywood.
Bob
I've tried to meet you a number of times, and to no avail.
What's a fella gotta do? Remember when I picked up the Maytag AMP from up Dundalk way (near baltimore) and I tried to get you involved? Waddup wid dat?
Dude...single...in Maryland...appliance & phonograph guy.
Let's play a record and do some laundry. Maybe bake a cake.
Holla from Hollywood.
Bob
scott55405
Well-known member
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2004
- Messages
- 1,831
Bob, you're single? I had no idea!
bobofhollywood
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2006
- Messages
- 457
single..
Yes...over 3 years now.
Just getting the hang of it, actually.
I have about 100 boyfriends...just not all at once.
Gay.com rocks....I'm even actually bobofhollywood there as well.
Holla from Hollywood.
Bob
Yes...over 3 years now.
Just getting the hang of it, actually.
I have about 100 boyfriends...just not all at once.
Gay.com rocks....I'm even actually bobofhollywood there as well.
Holla from Hollywood.
Bob
brettsomers
Well-known member
- Joined
- Dec 30, 2005
- Messages
- 1,993
My Goodness!
this is turning out to be quite an interesting thread!
this is turning out to be quite an interesting thread!
partscounterman
Member
This thread made a song stick in my head....
After reading this thread today at lunch, i had to run on up the hill to Makawao. All the way up the Haleakala highway I'm singin'-
Cupid!
Draw back your bow
And let
Your arrow go
straight through my lover's heart
for me (nobody but me)
Cupid!
Please hear my cry
and let
Your arrow fly
straight through my lovers heart
straight through my lovers heart....
Geez, and I haven't even heard this song in ages.
There!
Now it's outta my head
and into yours!
After reading this thread today at lunch, i had to run on up the hill to Makawao. All the way up the Haleakala highway I'm singin'-
Cupid!
Draw back your bow
And let
Your arrow go
straight through my lover's heart
for me (nobody but me)
Cupid!
Please hear my cry
and let
Your arrow fly
straight through my lovers heart
straight through my lovers heart....
Geez, and I haven't even heard this song in ages.
There!
Now it's outta my head
and into yours!
I'm going to be the tu** in the punchbowl here, but here goes.
Get off the internet and get into the community!!
Push yourself to get out of the house and get involved in local stuff of interest. Some of it may not be for you, but try!!!
(aside...I came out about 1 1/2 years ago at 42 y.o. into an immediate relationship (mistake that I had to make), broke up then about 3 months subsequent, met someone else. Wonderful guy)
Anyway, get involved in the community. I met Brian in the GLBT swim team here (we were both on the dunk-tank during Pride). Take some classes at the GLBT community center (here there are several evening groups which aren't exactly therapy but allow one to widen one's circle. Get involved with HRC, AIDS walk, charities, etc etc. GLBT chamber-of-commerce. The list is long, especially in a city like Baltimore/Washington.
Another organization which I found helpful in "getting out of my shell" is Body Electric.
Put yourself out there on Yahoo etc but don't obsess over it.
Note: This is very similar to Job Hunting 101.
J
Get off the internet and get into the community!!
Push yourself to get out of the house and get involved in local stuff of interest. Some of it may not be for you, but try!!!
(aside...I came out about 1 1/2 years ago at 42 y.o. into an immediate relationship (mistake that I had to make), broke up then about 3 months subsequent, met someone else. Wonderful guy)
Anyway, get involved in the community. I met Brian in the GLBT swim team here (we were both on the dunk-tank during Pride). Take some classes at the GLBT community center (here there are several evening groups which aren't exactly therapy but allow one to widen one's circle. Get involved with HRC, AIDS walk, charities, etc etc. GLBT chamber-of-commerce. The list is long, especially in a city like Baltimore/Washington.
Another organization which I found helpful in "getting out of my shell" is Body Electric.
Put yourself out there on Yahoo etc but don't obsess over it.
Note: This is very similar to Job Hunting 101.
J
Veg---
Tom is right------please be careful----however I do hope you find just the RIGHT companion.
Best wishes!
Tom is right------please be careful----however I do hope you find just the RIGHT companion.
Best wishes!
Could this be the start of....
automaticwasherdating.com?
"A site dedicated to finding love in the suds!"
It would certainly have made things easier to date someone you have something in common with straight away!
Good luck Veg, hope Cupid comes calling soon.
Peter(Birmingham Automaticwasher bear!!)
automaticwasherdating.com?
"A site dedicated to finding love in the suds!"
It would certainly have made things easier to date someone you have something in common with straight away!
Good luck Veg, hope Cupid comes calling soon.
Peter(Birmingham Automaticwasher bear!!)
