David,
I know what you're going through with a relative who tries to get by with spending as little money as possible. My wife's uncle was the exact same way as your dad, and needed to enter a nursing home in Jan. 2009 due to dementia. Now as of June 1st, he will be on Medicaid because he's exhausted his finances, except for his burial insurance. Now in his lucid moments, he wishes he would not have been quite so frugal. Too bad we have to spend ourselves into poverty just so we can stay in a skilled care facility.