Alone on holidays...

[lordkenmore]

My Christmas will almost certainly be "Home Alone." Without, one trusts, any burglars to torment with various home made traps. LOL

Being alone during the holiday season is pretty standard. My family gathering is by Christmas cards. I have no gatherings locally to go to. I don't even go to holiday parties--the last one was probably when I was in college, more than quarter of a century ago. (Yes, Lord Kenmore is as unlikable in real life as he is on the computer screen. LOL)

Earlier, I was wondering what others in a similar situation do. Go through some effort to Do Christmas Right with big dinner for one, lots of decorations, etc? Do nothing, and hope the season passes quickly? Some token effort (e.g., a few decorations, and a nice dinner that's not standard weeknight fare, but not quite as elaborate as full scale traditional dinner?)

As for me, some years I make a small effort. Some decorating, perhaps, like a small tree. I might make a "real dinner", although nothing horribly elaborate. Other years, my effort is more minimal--maybe the only decorating might be a single bubbling light in a lamp that looks like an electric candle. And some years, I do absolutely nothing. Right now, it's sort of looking like this will be a "do nothing, why bother?!?" year.

 

[ken]

John

We're clear across the U.S. from each other but if we were close you'd be more than welcome to come and have dinner at our house Christmas day. All the best.

Ken

 

[ptcruiser51]

It's OK to be alone, as long as you're not lonely.

Years past, after my husband died (1998) I had to "put on a happy face" and go to my sister's for the day. Ostensibly "for the kids" but more to take our impossible parents out of her hair for awhile. I did it "for the kids" and came home with a blinding headache. Some holiday, huh? Well, years passed, kids grown, gone, and both failures in spite of colossal efforts. Mom & dad passed at the holidays (5 weeks apart) in 2010. No reason to be happy/cheerful. I'd rather just be alone. Go to Mass and that's it. Friends always invite and get miffed when I decline (I don't want to be a wet-blanket on anyone's good time). Now that I live in FL, I spend a quiet day at the beach with my thoughts. No decorations, but I do send cards out and enjoy receiving them.

Do what feels right for YOU and make no excuses.

 

[mamapinky]

Lord, where exactly do you live? I think you should hop a plane and spend Christmas here. Its not very exciting just the hubs kids and grandkids. But we sing and have a wonderful dinner and put toys together. No grand party but there's always the laundry room with tons of detergents LOL. At least think about it ok? Cheryl

 

[washman]

I'll be alone this year

For a few reasons. ONe, buying a home takes a LOT of free cash which I just don't have right now. Two, dad has many appointments with the VA, a colonoscopy on the 24th (yes, you read that right). Normally I go there but not this year. Last time he was here was in Sept and he cut his visit short because of severe back pain.

We both agreed that it would be best if we just send gifts and I stay up here to allow him the freedom to have his appointments as needed without me being in the way.

It was just me, mom and dad for all those years so I am quite accustomed to being alone or with just the parentals. Mom left us in 2007 so since then it has been me and dad. And each year I find it harder and harder to "whip up" the holiday spirit I once had. Dad never really was into into it much; mom was the "spirit" behind it all. Now that she is gone a good chunk of the motivation is just no longer there.

I did put some C9 lights up and they look nice but to be honest, I sort of went thru the motions. I have a simple ceramic tree from Vermont Country store, an LL Bean wreath on the front and a dollar store Merry Christmas lawn ornament. That's it. So far I have one card. From dad. And nobody else.

 

[dynaflow]

wow guys

if i already wasnt feeling down sure would be now I have both my parents go to my partners Christmas eve family dinner on Christmas day then hit the sofa for the rest of the day

 

[DADoES]

 
The grandmother died on 12/25/2013 so there's that with us for the duration.  One sister is now 5.5 hrs away, the other sis/bro-in-law/nephew have a tradition of a camping trip from 12/25 through 1/1.  The parents may or may not have a casino trip depending on how the date falls with the room offers.  This year they're not (until 12/28 with Dad's sister/bro-in-law), so I'll be at their place on 12/25.

Group of friends with whom we had several gatherings through the course of a year have moved away over last few years, except for one.

12/24 (shortened), 12/25 (shortened), 12/31, 1/1 are always work days per business goes on.  Last payroll period for 2015 ends on 12/24.  One does what one must. 

I haven't "decorated" in years.  This year I haven't changed-out the soffit lights for the usual red & green.

 

[warmsecondrinse]

I'm taking this year off....

For the last 20+ years I've exhausted myself and headed up to Mass. on the 26th. This year I'm staying home. I'm totally playing the surgery card because I'm still totally wiped out by my measly 24hr/week work schedule. My mom and sister aren't speaking to me so staying home is A-OK with me. I'm buying gifts for Eric and my daughter & nieces/nephews and THAT'S IT!

The only thing I'm feeling is a vague sense of guilt about the fact that I'm excited about actually resting between Christmas and New Year's.

To answer your question I'm happy about doing absolutely nothing. For years each Christmas has been more of a chore than the one before and each year my efforts have been less and less acknowledged, never mind appreciated.

As for decorations, the only one's I have any interest in are from my grandmother. They're in a storage locker in FL and will remain there until I can assemble the cash to move everything up here.

Call me Scrooge, but I'm so happy to be sitting this one out!

Jim

 

[petek]

We don't do much for Xmas now.  I put the lights up outside but probably won't bother with the tree.  The only presents I buy are for my nephews two small children now. For the last few years we've had Xmas dinner at my sisters place since mom went into the home with dementia and we'll probably be doing it again this year though on the 26th. 

Some big family drama happened back in August where we caught my niece stealing money from my mothers bank account.  So that's still festering.  It's not the first time either.  Up until about a week ago my sister who is as upset about all this as I am along with her husband , we just figured screw it.. we're not bothering this year.. But she's relented for the sake of her son and his kids,, and the thiefs two adult children..  It's gonna be interesting I guess to see if the thieving niece shows up.   

 

Except for the Xmas's we had as kids the happiest ones my partner and I had were when we had our first apartment together and would invite all of our "orphan" friends over and have a big dinner and party.. It was great.  

 

[Ultramatic]

You are never alone...

 

 

It all about the birth of the savior.

 

 

 

[wayupnorth]

I am going to be alone but have been invited to a neighbors for dinner. I only hope there is something worth watching on tv and the weather is NOT like last year.

 

[tolivac]

Too me Christmas is just another workday-but do get holiday pay.Don't wish to travel the cattle car,police state,fee you to death airlines!!!HATE TRAVEL now-remember when it used to be FUN!You looked forward to your trip-Now its DRUDEGRY!My relatives live crosscountry from me.We really don't send stuff anymore.As far as I go--Cristmas is a great thing for kids!For adults-can be a pain in the !@$%.I didn't do much regular shopping-the places are just too mobbed with Christmas shoppers.Have most what I need-so no shopping until the mess is over.Guess I am a Scruge now.

 

[brucelucenta]

Since I took over caring for my mother nearly three years ago I have had a big Christmas dinner here at my house for my two brothers and their wives and my two nephews. That and Thanksgiving are the only two times we are ever all together anymore. After my father died in early 2013, mom came to live with me. Since I have no partner or significant other, it was only natural that I be the one. I think there is a good possibility this could be the last holiday season she is around. Her dementia and mobility issues are greater than ever now along with other health and well being issues. So I am doing the best I can with her and try to make her content for the time being. After she is gone I expect I will do very little during the holiday season. I long since quit decorating the house in any way. What's the point? I don't feel it anymore, so why bother? Old and bitter? Perhaps so, but why force yourself to do something you just don't want to do?

 

[askolover]

I'm a bit Grinchy

myself this year.  Tony wanted to put up a few lights outside.  I don't want to fool with a tree inside but he'll probably do it and then fuss about the cats messing with it.  I love Christmas, but it's so commercial now I don't even want to go anywhere there are people!

 

[retro-man]

Nope Christmas is not like it used to be. Family has all moved to different parts of the country. Parents have both passed. My MIL is in stages of dementia and no longer does stairs so our house is out. We are going to a Chinese restaurant for dinner at noon. Drop her back at her condo after then off to our house at the beach. Minimum decorations in the business and no lights or decorations outside. Inside looks the same as it does the rest of the year. The house at the beach I have put lights in the window and an arrangement on the sofa table, but that's it. Just don't feel in the mood like others have said and don't feel the need for all the lights and decorations. Maybe this is a turning point in ones life and won't do it in the future. Don't know. I remember my parents going through this and thought this won't happen to me, but it is. lol So anyone who thinks they are alone for this holiday, don't there are plenty of us who are going to treat it just like any other day.

Jon

 

[polkanut]

If it weren't for the fact that my parents are still alive, and I have a young nephew (8 y/o),  my wife & I would just let the day pass like any other.  With most of my wife's extended family either deceased or living their own lives, and my immediate family only getting along together so-so it really isn't worth the hassle and stress.  My two sisters fight like cats and dogs between themselves when they're in the same room with each other for longer than an hour or two.  I usually try to ignore it until I can't anymore, then we make up some excuse and go home which is only two blocks away from my parents.

 

[mrb627]

Holiday Wash-Ins

Seems like we should start planning a regional Holiday Wash-In so members of the group don't sit at home alone watching their laundry dry on the line.

Malcolm

 

[luxflairguy]

Since Lynn died 2 years ago and even before that Christmas dwindled away. I have no family and friends are few and far-flung. I have no invites and only 3 cards have come. But I'm getting into the spirit a little by helping a group of friends here in Sumas cook and serve a FREE Christmas Eve dinner to the seniors and anyone else who comes to the Community Center. The church that did Thanksgiving had 120 show-up, so we're aiming for that. The community is behind us with some great donations of money and groceries. Starting Monday, I'll be cooking all day. 6 turkeys, 3 hams, and sides. Greg

 

[iheartmaytag]

You can always seek other Christmas Orphans

Senior center, Group Homes, Nursing Homes, Hospitals, Jail/Prisons.  

 

Though there are times I would love to just sit down with the TV guide and the remote.  The best way to not be lonely is helping others not be alone.

 

As for family,  well there is a perfectly good reason to be alone.  Family gatherings,, as I always say, should be reserved for Arraignments, and trials.   Friends are better to be around anytime.