Baby queen

[toggleswitch]

Carol, honey, this was not a personal assualt!

And yes there can discipline without belts, handcuffs and restraints. (But not nearly as much fun).

I don't think the law will get on you if you say as a parent:

Make your bed.
Clean your room.
Take a shower
Do your hoemwork
Mind your manners
Hold your tongue
Speak when spoken to

and most importantly:

"You, child, are not the center of the universe".

Believe me I see what a job it is to be a GOOD parent.
For most men perhaps fatherhood is 20 minutes worth of work. For a woman? 20 years worth of work.

Better you than me!

 

[Maytagmom]

Steve, no personal assult was assumed over here. You talk to me enough on the phone to know what a loving, caring, considerate person I am. LMAO *cough, hands ya a $20)
Here is what I am up against...

MM's teenage daughter's responses in parenthesis:

Make your bed. (NO!)
Clean your room. (NO!)
Take a shower (I will later, or NO)
Do your homework (I don't have any)***
***honestly, the schools here hardly EVER send work home..or it's: Bring in a box of Kleenex, or 2 AA batteries and we will give you 10 pts on your next test!?!?!?!?! WTH????
Mind your manners (WHATEVER!*rolls eyes*)
Hold your tongue (WHATEVAH!!!*more eye rolling*)
Speak when spoken to (NO!)

Makes me want to slap her into tommorrow...
and yet...I walk away.

 

[toggleswitch]

Free vailum and ear-[lugs to ALL parents, IMHO.

JOKING, SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE NO HATE-MAIL:

Children? yes please. Sliced thin and fried well.

--or--

Just hold 'em under the water till the little bubbles stop.

 

[panthera]

Steve,

Twenty minutes? I know lots of gals who say they'd be happy to get...oh, drat. The PC police are probably already running to Samantha about this thread.
Never mind.
(But thanks for the picture this morning - it made my day.)

Violence towards kids is a real problem, but our society is not approaching it the right way. Every fall, I get a young student or two in their first semester who quakes in their boots when I ask them to stand and answer a question. I know by the look of terror in their eyes what the "reward" for a wrong answer was at home (they don't know me well enough yet to be afraid of ME). If my antennae really go up, I ask them to stick around after the lecture, then ask them if they'd like to volunteer for credit in a program the psych. department is running. About half actually do...sometimes it helps, usually the damage is beyond any means we have to intercede at university level.

 

[dascot]

"Apparently many of today's parents have issues with being disiplinarians.

Apperently saying "NO, you may not!" is verboten. Setting boundaries and rules is anathema. And finally rembering that the child is the child and that the parent is the parent (not the other way around) could probably use a bit of re-enforcemnt. "
Hah, yes. I get so fed up with reading about parents who complain about their children running riot because they said yes and gave in to their every whim. Well my kid(s) aren't getting that - they'll get told no, they'll get told they can't have something just because they want it, they'll learn that demanding something doesn't mean they get it straight away right then. That's not bad for a child, that seems to me to be common sense, and is something sadly lacking in a lot of people these days from some of the things I see.

By the way, I didn't take any offence at the video, I thought I'd said this yesterday in my post but I didn't - I watched it and thought it was pretty funny

 

[perc-o-prince]

Oye!!!

Childless school bus driver here.

Many kids here (US) are made to feel entitled by parents. That's more damaging than a slap on the ass for doing something wrong! More than once, I've had parents tell kids it's OK for them to do something on the bus that I told them they could not do, such as, sit with someone they cause trouble with. Let's just cut tothe chase and teach them that they don't have to have respect for other adults. BTW, I can't remember any parent making that same mistake twice on my runs!!!

Then there are those who negotiate with them. As Rich says, "You negotiate with kidnappers and terrorists; not children." When mommy says no, it means NO. Not, "Keep it up and you'll wear me down to the point where I'll buy you a toy if you do what I say." How about, "You don't want to behave in the store? When we get home, you'll stay in your room until dinner with no TV, no video games, no stereo."

It's ridiculous to the nth degree.

OK, enough out of me.

Chuck

 

[carlstock]

I always loved working with children in school, and I hope to do so again health-permitting, but I would never, ever *negotiate* with a child in my care.

If I said to do something, I would only ask once… and then again… and then again. After three goes came the punishment. (No – not smacking in a school!)

As for one’s own children, I have no idea because I do not have any, but I know I would be loving but firm. I would want my children to grow up genuinely free, happy and free of worry, but I would want to them always respect others, especially those less fortunate, and I would want them to be worldly. There is no way a child of mine would run riot, although if they had a behavioural disorder, that would be an exception of course.

 

[carlstock]

And I will say one thing that is lacking with many of today’s parents: I would accept criticism of me and my children if someone felt we were lacking – if, say, they were not disciplined enough, or if I lapsed for some reason (no way!).

Many parents now become all protective over their children if someone, even a teacher, criticises them or their children. My parents always accepted criticism from others – good and bad – and they did not get into a bad mood over it.

 

[oxydolfan1]

Anyone with common sense knows the difference between a child who needs a quick slap to bring him/her back to his senses, and a parent taking out their own failures as parents out against their children in a physical manner.

That said, where there's smoke, there's fire, and CPS doesn't have the time or resources to go around threatening to take people's children away from them, unless there's a damn good reason.

And the reason that the "toughlove" approach has been such a miserable failure is that there is neither anything tough nor loving about it.

It's all about good, simple common sense.

 

[carlstock]

Very well put, oxydolfan1.

 

[foraloysius]

Unfortunately a lot of parents lack common sense and cross the line between a single smack and physical abuse. I don't feel very strongly about the single smack issue, but I do about the abuse of children. And in order to protect the children of those parents I can justify the ban on smacking. That will make it easier to deal with parents who abuse their children.

 

[panthera]

wolves and cats

I lived for many years with a wolf (no, not a big dog - l.lupus, the real thing.)
She needed a lot of training and discipline as a cub. But we managed to learn all we needed without ever hitting, smacking or physically abusing her.
Everything.
The same with four cats...one of whom was a badly injured bavarian wild cat who stayed with us so long we couldn't let her go again. (She refused to ever set a foot out the door again, you argue with a 37 pound cat that she is a creature of the wild when she is howling and crawling into the furthest corner under the bed that she is really a domestic cat and the felis sylvestris was just a silly mistake by our vet. I value my face too much.
So, if these "animals" can learn discipline without violence, I daresay a human child can, too.
It would help if we had more and cheaper training courses and help for "young" parents. Children are demanding little monsters - if you don't have any help or training - or, worse, you yourself were physically abused, how can you know what to do with them?

 

[irishwashguy]

I liked what you did.Very creative!I happen to be a big Queen fan.
Ritchie

 

[peterh770]

"I didn't really like it because they needed to film upset babies to get the footage. "

Who says? Maybe someone already had the footage and just decided to do a parody of the song.

Are we saying that parents, or anyone for that matter, can no longer film upset children?

Please. This was all just done in fun.

 

[carlstock]

This may be me going a little too deep into this, but my take is this: I can see a funny side to this video that others may see, but I do not personally find it particularly funny. I am being quite honest here, and I tend to avoid such discussions.

My reasons for not finding it particularly funny compared with, say, home video footage of babies suffering minor injuries is that, with home footage, one tends to feel deeply sorry for the injured baby but knows that a parent will be on hand within a moment’s notice to comfort the baby. We do not really know how and where the babies on this website were sourced and. The babies on this website are/were real babies, but we do not know if they were comforted at all.

I cannot speak for Nick (nickuk), but I believe he is saying that he does not like to see images of babies, children or adults in distress for the purposes of entertainment.

There were concerns in the UK about an art exhibition that showed photographs of children crying, as I have said in a previous post in this thread. Yes – some can find some art in these, but I have concerns. How those children were brought to those states is not known, and it did concern some people, including me.

I am no bleeding heart liberal with a politically correct agenda – I simply wonder how some images (and other products) are sourced in these cases.

I love crazy footage of things, but I just feel a little uncomfortable with the images on this website, but I do not deny that some will find it funny; nor do I take offence or look down at those who do like it. We all have our views, and we see can decide how to express them.

 

[panthera]

my paws and whiskers a reasonable man

Hi Carl,
Better be careful - your reasonableness is showing. I am thankful for every calm, cool, collected analysis of the situation.
Personally, I do not understand the appeal of screaming babies in pictures, but I also do not share your concerns about it.

I think it is a generational thing - you grew up with political correctness and a heightened sense of "this could offend someone" and I grew up with "live and let live."
If more of your generation were as moderate as you, I think more of mine could see the value of PC and not only the overwhelming disadvantages.

 

[carlstock]

Thank you, panthera.