Classic Quotes
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veg-o-matic
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From the Lovely Bethann:
"I'm going to kick your hair's ass!"
veg
"I'm going to kick your hair's ass!"
veg
brettsomers
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Bette Davis, about La Crawford
*she's slept with every male star at MGM except Lassie!*
*she's slept with every male star at MGM except Lassie!*
A few from Dorothy Parker..
* That woman speaks 18 languages and can't say 'no' in any of them.
* If you want to know what the Lord thinks of money, just look at those to whom he gives it.
* If all the girls at Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all suprised.
* You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
(When challenged to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence. A variation on "You can lead a horse to water")
* I've been too f*****g busy, and vice versa.
* That woman speaks 18 languages and can't say 'no' in any of them.
* If you want to know what the Lord thinks of money, just look at those to whom he gives it.
* If all the girls at Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all suprised.
* You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
(When challenged to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence. A variation on "You can lead a horse to water")
* I've been too f*****g busy, and vice versa.
A speech to given to an auditorium full of high school students on career day. From my favorite television show "Strangers with Candy."
"Dreams are a great thing, but y'know something, they take a lot of energy. But that's O.K. There's a job waiting for you down the block from your house that doesn't require a thought in your head or a hope in your heart. So come on down and work for the artificial flower factory. Why fight it? Okay? Thank you."
"Dreams are a great thing, but y'know something, they take a lot of energy. But that's O.K. There's a job waiting for you down the block from your house that doesn't require a thought in your head or a hope in your heart. So come on down and work for the artificial flower factory. Why fight it? Okay? Thank you."
How about.....
I brought you in this world and I can take you out, and it don't make no difference to me cuz I'll make another one that looks just like ya'---Bill Cosby
Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death
Mame Dennis
and while were on the subject of Auntie Mame how about....
PATRICK DENNIS
refering to a passed out Vera Charles) Auntie Mame is the Brittish lady sick?
MAME: She's not Brittish she's from Pittsburg.
PATRICK: Well she sounds Brittish.
MAME: Well when you're from Pittsburg you have to do something!
I brought you in this world and I can take you out, and it don't make no difference to me cuz I'll make another one that looks just like ya'---Bill Cosby
Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death
Mame Dennis
and while were on the subject of Auntie Mame how about....
PATRICK DENNIS
refering to a passed out Vera Charles) Auntie Mame is the Brittish lady sick?MAME: She's not Brittish she's from Pittsburg.
PATRICK: Well she sounds Brittish.
MAME: Well when you're from Pittsburg you have to do something!
eluxomarty
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crazy patients
we nurses say, " save the drama for you mama! "
and when taking a medical history from an obvious drug addict who denies drug use, " you'd lie to Jesus!"
we nurses say, " save the drama for you mama! "
and when taking a medical history from an obvious drug addict who denies drug use, " you'd lie to Jesus!"
Ethnic ditty/ joke:
Better that your eye should come out than you come-out with (have) a reputation. In my case unfortunately, the reputation came out.
Doesn't rhyme in English:
If jealousy were lice, the whole country would be infested.
...and my all-time favorite, which sounds FABULOUS in Purist (high-falutin') Greek. There are three offical levels of language there:
Everyday spoken
Offical/media
Purist (high-falutin')..without foreign words.
This is heard in chruch here:
Passing around is the final disk (collection tray).
Show your love towards the church.
Open your hearts.
Open your portfolios(wallets). [I have really heard this]
Give with all your heart. Give what you can, no matter how small. Let us complete the missions/programs for your children, for the future for the stability of this community.
Support the future generations by strengthening this church and community.
yada yada yada.
Ok fine, but the GUILT TRIPS and emotional triggers! YIKES!!!!
and to think I actaully thouth of becoming a priest. O M G !
yes the Greeks have a word for everything, in tht case it woueld be:
pappa-doulapa (Father closet) NO JOKE used for the ones that have a "side-thing" going for their AHEM more BASE physical needs. [NOTE: Priests are allowed to marry but since no one can serve two masters, you may not progress above priest to bishop if you have a ball-and-chain. Of course, you may not divorce and progress, or keep your priesthood. Once hitched you are "ruined". LOL ROFL LMAO.
sorry to have digressed, yet again!
Better that your eye should come out than you come-out with (have) a reputation. In my case unfortunately, the reputation came out.
Doesn't rhyme in English:
If jealousy were lice, the whole country would be infested.
...and my all-time favorite, which sounds FABULOUS in Purist (high-falutin') Greek. There are three offical levels of language there:
Everyday spoken
Offical/media
Purist (high-falutin')..without foreign words.
This is heard in chruch here:
Passing around is the final disk (collection tray).
Show your love towards the church.
Open your hearts.
Open your portfolios(wallets). [I have really heard this]
Give with all your heart. Give what you can, no matter how small. Let us complete the missions/programs for your children, for the future for the stability of this community.
Support the future generations by strengthening this church and community.
yada yada yada.
Ok fine, but the GUILT TRIPS and emotional triggers! YIKES!!!!
and to think I actaully thouth of becoming a priest. O M G !
yes the Greeks have a word for everything, in tht case it woueld be:
pappa-doulapa (Father closet) NO JOKE used for the ones that have a "side-thing" going for their AHEM more BASE physical needs. [NOTE: Priests are allowed to marry but since no one can serve two masters, you may not progress above priest to bishop if you have a ball-and-chain. Of course, you may not divorce and progress, or keep your priesthood. Once hitched you are "ruined". LOL ROFL LMAO.
sorry to have digressed, yet again!
quote from my nana.. "your bankbook is your best friend"
I don't know if Joan really said this-
but it's one of my faves: "Don't F*** with me, fellas, this ain't my first time at the rodeo."
On a more sedate note: "Libraries will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no libraries." >>>Anonymous.
"The only exercises a woman needs are the exercise of good judgement and the exercise of good taste."
>>>>>>>Grandma P.
Lawrence/Maytagbear
but it's one of my faves: "Don't F*** with me, fellas, this ain't my first time at the rodeo."
On a more sedate note: "Libraries will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no libraries." >>>Anonymous.
"The only exercises a woman needs are the exercise of good judgement and the exercise of good taste."
>>>>>>>Grandma P.
Lawrence/Maytagbear
"I can resist anything except temptation!" (Oscar Wilde)
partscounterman
Member
A quote from my friend Martha
Our friends Martha and Mark were over on 4th. Mark was doing some computer stuff for us. I am so glad Mark can help me with these things because all I know how to do is turn the damned thing on. So I said "What do ordinary people do, who don't have friends like Mark to help with their computers?"
Quote from Martha "They make their kids do it"
Well, I guess you had to be there....
Our friends Martha and Mark were over on 4th. Mark was doing some computer stuff for us. I am so glad Mark can help me with these things because all I know how to do is turn the damned thing on. So I said "What do ordinary people do, who don't have friends like Mark to help with their computers?"
Quote from Martha "They make their kids do it"
Well, I guess you had to be there....
hoover1060
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- Apr 9, 2005
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- 3,309
welll
My favorite Joan line:
"Well Girls, looks like its back to the perfume counter for me!"
and my favorite quote around work is: "Tis hard to soar with the eagles when you roost with Turkeys!"
My favorite Joan line:
"Well Girls, looks like its back to the perfume counter for me!"
and my favorite quote around work is: "Tis hard to soar with the eagles when you roost with Turkeys!"
Venus:
often heard:
Common-sense is not so common.
often heard:
Common-sense is not so common.
brettsomers
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- Dec 30, 2005
- Messages
- 1,993
Well Girls, looks like its back to the perfume counter for m
Too defeatist. Unflattering (lol). Joan knew "how to win the HARD WAY!"
Too defeatist. Unflattering (lol). Joan knew "how to win the HARD WAY!"
andrewinorlando
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- Oct 18, 2004
- Messages
- 1,392
How about Julia Sugarbaker to her bigoted, gay hating friend Imogene - "If God were handing out sexually transmitted diseases as a punishment for sinning, then you'd be at the free clinic aaaaaaaaaall the time".
