58limited
Well-known member
Did you hear about the optometrist who got his hand caught in the lens grinder? He made a spectacle of himself.
Dumb joke thread
- Thread starter polkanut
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laundromat
Well-known member
We already know how to get 4 gay men onto a bar stool by turning it upside down.
Q.How thoough do you get them off?????
You jerk one off and the other three come!!!
Q.How thoough do you get them off?????
You jerk one off and the other three come!!!
laundromat
Well-known member
Q.how do you know when you're in a gay church?
A.only half the men there are on their knees,they're playing the male organ and saying"Ah men!"
A.only half the men there are on their knees,they're playing the male organ and saying"Ah men!"
toggleswitch2
Well-known member
- Joined
- May 23, 2008
- Messages
- 5,000
.
Q: How do you separate the men from the boys in Greece?
A: Wth a crowbar.
Q: Did your hear about Nikos? He weould'nt leave Greeve to go fin dopprotunities in America.
WHY?
A: He couldn't leave his little bothers behind.
One farm mother was socializing with another farm mother at the fence of two neighboring farms. One day Sofia says to Irene, "Yes I caught your son diddling my daughter not long ago." So the mother of the female says "BAAAAAAAAAAAAH?"
(That means 'Oh REALLY, I'm surprised." in Greek).
Q: How do you separate the men from the boys in Greece?
A: Wth a crowbar.
Q: Did your hear about Nikos? He weould'nt leave Greeve to go fin dopprotunities in America.
WHY?
A: He couldn't leave his little bothers behind.
One farm mother was socializing with another farm mother at the fence of two neighboring farms. One day Sofia says to Irene, "Yes I caught your son diddling my daughter not long ago." So the mother of the female says "BAAAAAAAAAAAAH?"
(That means 'Oh REALLY, I'm surprised." in Greek).
laundromat
Well-known member
Q.Why do farts smell so bad?
A.So deaf people can enjoy them too.
Q.How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
A. They left the plunger in the toilet.
Q.Why did so many people die in Waco,Texas?
A. They were trying to keep up with the Joneses.
Q.How does a 2 year old make their finger dance
A.They put a little buggy in it.
Q.How do you tell the Italian planes from the others at the airport?
A.They have hair under their wings.
Q.What do 8 cups equal?
A.4 bras!
Q.How do you tell when a woman has let a fart?
A.Her ankles swell.
Q.Why did Helen Keller wear tights?
A.So people would be able to read her lips.
Q.Did you hear about the rubber that hit the ceiling?
A.It got pissed off!
Q.what's"FEE FEE FIE FEE FIE FOO FOO?
A. Mike Tyson's phone number
Q. Why does Mike Tyson always cry while making love?
A.You'd cry to if someone was spraying tear gas in your face!
Q.How do you keep kids from jumping up and down in bed?
A.Put Velcro on your ceiling.
Q.How do you get them down?
A.Get some more kids,blindfold them and tell them it's a Pinata
Q.Why are pool tables green?
A.If you had that many balls and people were hitting them with a stick all day,you'd be green too!
Q.What's the most popular pick up line in a gay bar?
A."Can I push in your stool?"
Q.What's the most popular pick up line in a Lesbian bar?
A."Your face or mine?"
Q.What's O.J.Simpsons favorite Holiday of the year?
A.Thanksgiving, because he's real good at cutting up white meat.
Q.How many Branch Dividians can you fit in a Volkswagen Beetle?
A.Two in the front,two in the back and the rest in the ashtray.
Q.What did the vacuum cleaner say to the fan?
A."Blow me!"
Q.What did the fan say to the vacuum cleaner?
A."You suck!"
Q.If Princess Diana were alive and well today what would she be saying?
A."Get me out of here!!!!"
Q.What's green and slimy and smells like Miss Piggy?
A.Kermit's finger.
Q.What did Madonna's left leg say to her right leg?
A.Nothing.They've never met!
A.So deaf people can enjoy them too.
Q.How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
A. They left the plunger in the toilet.
Q.Why did so many people die in Waco,Texas?
A. They were trying to keep up with the Joneses.
Q.How does a 2 year old make their finger dance
A.They put a little buggy in it.
Q.How do you tell the Italian planes from the others at the airport?
A.They have hair under their wings.
Q.What do 8 cups equal?
A.4 bras!
Q.How do you tell when a woman has let a fart?
A.Her ankles swell.
Q.Why did Helen Keller wear tights?
A.So people would be able to read her lips.
Q.Did you hear about the rubber that hit the ceiling?
A.It got pissed off!
Q.what's"FEE FEE FIE FEE FIE FOO FOO?
A. Mike Tyson's phone number
Q. Why does Mike Tyson always cry while making love?
A.You'd cry to if someone was spraying tear gas in your face!
Q.How do you keep kids from jumping up and down in bed?
A.Put Velcro on your ceiling.
Q.How do you get them down?
A.Get some more kids,blindfold them and tell them it's a Pinata
Q.Why are pool tables green?
A.If you had that many balls and people were hitting them with a stick all day,you'd be green too!
Q.What's the most popular pick up line in a gay bar?
A."Can I push in your stool?"
Q.What's the most popular pick up line in a Lesbian bar?
A."Your face or mine?"
Q.What's O.J.Simpsons favorite Holiday of the year?
A.Thanksgiving, because he's real good at cutting up white meat.
Q.How many Branch Dividians can you fit in a Volkswagen Beetle?
A.Two in the front,two in the back and the rest in the ashtray.
Q.What did the vacuum cleaner say to the fan?
A."Blow me!"
Q.What did the fan say to the vacuum cleaner?
A."You suck!"
Q.If Princess Diana were alive and well today what would she be saying?
A."Get me out of here!!!!"
Q.What's green and slimy and smells like Miss Piggy?
A.Kermit's finger.
Q.What did Madonna's left leg say to her right leg?
A.Nothing.They've never met!
dogboy44
Well-known member
How do women get minks?
the same way minks get minks
the same way minks get minks
dogboy44
Well-known member
A Greek man is having a conversation with an Italian man:
"it was the Greeks who perfected sex!"
"yes, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women."
"it was the Greeks who perfected sex!"
"yes, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women."
toggleswitch2
Well-known member
- Joined
- May 23, 2008
- Messages
- 5,000
The Greek Husband
A young virgin marries a Greek man and before the wedding her father tells her that, being Greek, her husband may ask her to turn the other way in bed one day; but the she doesn’t have to do it if she doesn’t want to.
Sure enough, after a couple of months, her husband asks her to turn over and she says
"No, my father said I don’t have to do this."
Her husband says ‘OK, that’s fine by me, but I thought you wanted children."
A young virgin marries a Greek man and before the wedding her father tells her that, being Greek, her husband may ask her to turn the other way in bed one day; but the she doesn’t have to do it if she doesn’t want to.
Sure enough, after a couple of months, her husband asks her to turn over and she says
"No, my father said I don’t have to do this."
Her husband says ‘OK, that’s fine by me, but I thought you wanted children."
toggleswitch2
Well-known member
- Joined
- May 23, 2008
- Messages
- 5,000
On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:
2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman,
2 French men and 1 French woman,
2 German men and 1 German woman,
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman,
2 English men and 1 English woman,
2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman,
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman,
2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman,
2 New Zealander men and 1 New Zealander woman,
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman,
2 American men and 1 American woman.
One month later, the following things have occurred….
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together, having loads of sex.
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Polish woman and they started swimming.
The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.
The two Australian men beat each other senseless fighting over the Australian woman, who called them both “bloody wankers” and is checking out all the other men.
Both New Zealand men are searching the island for sheep.
The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey, but they are satisfied in that at least the English are not getting any.
The American woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinions and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is mproving. The two American men have committed suicide.
2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman,
2 French men and 1 French woman,
2 German men and 1 German woman,
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman,
2 English men and 1 English woman,
2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman,
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman,
2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman,
2 New Zealander men and 1 New Zealander woman,
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman,
2 American men and 1 American woman.
One month later, the following things have occurred….
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together, having loads of sex.
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Polish woman and they started swimming.
The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.
The two Australian men beat each other senseless fighting over the Australian woman, who called them both “bloody wankers” and is checking out all the other men.
Both New Zealand men are searching the island for sheep.
The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey, but they are satisfied in that at least the English are not getting any.
The American woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinions and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is mproving. The two American men have committed suicide.
toggleswitch2
Well-known member
- Joined
- May 23, 2008
- Messages
- 5,000
HEAVENLY REFERENCES
Three married couples, one Jewish, one Irish, and one Greek, all die on the same day and arrive at the gates of Heaven.
St. Peter asks the Jewish man why he deserves to be in Heaven. He replies, "I've been a pious Jew all my life, I attended synagogue every Saturday, and I raised a lot of money for Jewish causes."
"And what is your wife's name?" St. Peter asks.
"Penny," the man replies.
"Penny?!!" shouts St. Peter. "You Jews are all alike. Money, money, money. You even married a woman whose name has to do with money! Get out of my sight! You are damned to Hell!"
Then St. Peter asks the Irishman why he deserves to be in Heaven. "I've been a devout Catholic throughout my life, attended church every Sunday, and always gave generously to the collection plate."
"And what's your wife's name?" St. Peter asks.
"Brandy," the Irishman replies.
"Brandy?!! You Irish are all alike. Drink, drink, drink. You even married a woman whose name is a type of alcohol. Get out of my sight! You are damned to Hell!"
With that, the Greek guy turns to his wife and says,
"Fanny, I think we have a problem..."
Three married couples, one Jewish, one Irish, and one Greek, all die on the same day and arrive at the gates of Heaven.
St. Peter asks the Jewish man why he deserves to be in Heaven. He replies, "I've been a pious Jew all my life, I attended synagogue every Saturday, and I raised a lot of money for Jewish causes."
"And what is your wife's name?" St. Peter asks.
"Penny," the man replies.
"Penny?!!" shouts St. Peter. "You Jews are all alike. Money, money, money. You even married a woman whose name has to do with money! Get out of my sight! You are damned to Hell!"
Then St. Peter asks the Irishman why he deserves to be in Heaven. "I've been a devout Catholic throughout my life, attended church every Sunday, and always gave generously to the collection plate."
"And what's your wife's name?" St. Peter asks.
"Brandy," the Irishman replies.
"Brandy?!! You Irish are all alike. Drink, drink, drink. You even married a woman whose name is a type of alcohol. Get out of my sight! You are damned to Hell!"
With that, the Greek guy turns to his wife and says,
"Fanny, I think we have a problem..."
toggleswitch2
Well-known member
- Joined
- May 23, 2008
- Messages
- 5,000
One day a little boy and a little girl were arguing over who had what.
I have new rollerskates the boy would say. So do I said the girl.
I have a new bike said the girl. So do I said the little boy.
I have something you don't have said the little boy and opened the front of his pants.
The girl knowing she didn't have one ran home crying. When her sister asked her why she was crying she told her.
The sister then whispered something into the little girl's ear that made her happy.
The next day when the little boy saw her he said I got something you don't got, I got something you don't got.
The little girl says so what and lifts up her dress and says
I've got one of these, and with one of these you can get as many of those things as you want.
I have new rollerskates the boy would say. So do I said the girl.
I have a new bike said the girl. So do I said the little boy.
I have something you don't have said the little boy and opened the front of his pants.
The girl knowing she didn't have one ran home crying. When her sister asked her why she was crying she told her.
The sister then whispered something into the little girl's ear that made her happy.
The next day when the little boy saw her he said I got something you don't got, I got something you don't got.
The little girl says so what and lifts up her dress and says
I've got one of these, and with one of these you can get as many of those things as you want.
lordkenmore
Well-known member
A couple of riddles:
Q. What goes in hard, and comes out soft and sticky?
A. A stick of chewing gum.
Q. Whats brown and sticky?
A. A stick.
Q. What's small, yellow, and very dangerous?
A. A canary who has your computer's root (or administrator) password.
Q. What goes in hard, and comes out soft and sticky?
A. A stick of chewing gum.
Q. Whats brown and sticky?
A. A stick.
Q. What's small, yellow, and very dangerous?
A. A canary who has your computer's root (or administrator) password.
jasonl
New member
One day, Adam says to God, "God, I'm lonely, can you make another person for me?"
And God said, "It is not good for man to be alone, but it will cost you an arm and a leg"
And Adam said, "What can I get for a rib?"
And God said, "It is not good for man to be alone, but it will cost you an arm and a leg"
And Adam said, "What can I get for a rib?"
mickeyd
Well-known member
Just got this email of St. Patrick's Day jokes--too funn
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving
> home from the city one night and, of course, his car is
> weaving violently all over the road.
>
> A cop pulls him over. 'So,' says the cop to the driver,
> 'where have ya been?'
>
> 'Why, I've been to the pub of course,' slurs the drunk.
>
> 'Well,' says the cop, 'it looks like you've had quite a
> few to drink this evening.'
>
> 'I did all right,' the drunk says with a smile.
>
> 'Did you know,' says the cop, standing straight, and
> folding his arms across his chest, 'that a few intersections
> back, your wife fell out of your car?'
>
> 'Oh, thank heavens,' sighs the drunk. 'for a minute there
> I thought I'd gone deaf.'
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving
> home from the city one night and, of course, his car is
> weaving violently all over the road.
>
> A cop pulls him over. 'So,' says the cop to the driver,
> 'where have ya been?'
>
> 'Why, I've been to the pub of course,' slurs the drunk.
>
> 'Well,' says the cop, 'it looks like you've had quite a
> few to drink this evening.'
>
> 'I did all right,' the drunk says with a smile.
>
> 'Did you know,' says the cop, standing straight, and
> folding his arms across his chest, 'that a few intersections
> back, your wife fell out of your car?'
>
> 'Oh, thank heavens,' sighs the drunk. 'for a minute there
> I thought I'd gone deaf.'
Harley Davidson
A guy really wants a 883, but he has not money enough for a brand new one.
So he gives a glance to e-bay everyday.
Finally he finds a bargain.
It looks brand new, despite it's rather old
The seller after taking his money tells him :
"just remember to spread some vaseline on the chromes when it's about raining" and gives him a vaseline tube.
The happy guy, proud of his latest purchase, goes to his new girlfriend's house for the very first time to have dinner.
The girl tells him
"be aware we have a rule : that very one who will speak first during dinner also will wash up everything"
"Ok, no problem"
They enter into the hall, there's a mess of soiled pots ....
Then she introduces him to her parents and to her young aunt. Lots of smiles but no words ....
The dining room is a mess of dirty dishes and glasses
They sit down and start managing with forks and knives.
The guy thinks "wanna know how they'd behave if I scr**ed her". After the first shy approach to the girlfriend they do it. No matter, both parents and aunt keep on eating.
So he thinks "Let's try it with auntie ..." Again no word, nobody cares.
Now he stares at mum who's still a beautiful woman "Let's try with her too ..." and goes on. Same story again.
While they are having their coffee it starts thundering.
The guy pulls the vaseline tube out of his pocket ....
..........and dad says :
" C'mon !! It's my turn to wash up today !!"
A guy really wants a 883, but he has not money enough for a brand new one.
So he gives a glance to e-bay everyday.
Finally he finds a bargain.
It looks brand new, despite it's rather old
The seller after taking his money tells him :
"just remember to spread some vaseline on the chromes when it's about raining" and gives him a vaseline tube.
The happy guy, proud of his latest purchase, goes to his new girlfriend's house for the very first time to have dinner.
The girl tells him
"be aware we have a rule : that very one who will speak first during dinner also will wash up everything"
"Ok, no problem"
They enter into the hall, there's a mess of soiled pots ....
Then she introduces him to her parents and to her young aunt. Lots of smiles but no words ....
The dining room is a mess of dirty dishes and glasses
They sit down and start managing with forks and knives.
The guy thinks "wanna know how they'd behave if I scr**ed her". After the first shy approach to the girlfriend they do it. No matter, both parents and aunt keep on eating.
So he thinks "Let's try it with auntie ..." Again no word, nobody cares.
Now he stares at mum who's still a beautiful woman "Let's try with her too ..." and goes on. Same story again.
While they are having their coffee it starts thundering.
The guy pulls the vaseline tube out of his pocket ....
..........and dad says :
" C'mon !! It's my turn to wash up today !!"
jasonl
New member
lol
At Toggle's greek jokes.
Heard about the lesbian who had a sex change?
She had an Addadictome.
At Toggle's greek jokes.
Heard about the lesbian who had a sex change?
She had an Addadictome.
perc-o-prince
Well-known member
Lady walks into a hardware store to buy a hinge. She finds what she wants and is looking at the small appliances on the way to the counter. Salesman walks up to her and asks, "Hey, lady. Want a screw for that hinge?" She thinks a second and replies, "No, thanks, but I'll bl*w you for that toaster?!"
Chuck
Chuck
perc-o-prince
Well-known member
Guy finds ut he's being audited by the IRS, so he calls his lawyer and they have a meeting before audit day.
The guy and the lawyer walk into the auditor's office.
Auditor: Mr. Jones. You show an income of $354,000 but you don't list any occupation. What do you do?
Jones: I'm a very accomplished bet maker.
A: I find it hard to believe that you can make that much money making bets.
J: I'll prove it. I bet you $2500 I can bite my own eye.
Knowing his mouth can't reach that far, the auditor takes the bet. Jones takes out his glass eye and bites it. Jones wins $2500. The auditor is not terribly happy.
J: Tell you what. Double or nothing I can bite my other eye.
Since Jones can see, the auditor figures he's safe because Jones can't have 2 glass eyes, and takes the bet. Jones takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. The auditor is distraught.
J: Tell you what. I'm a fair man. I bet you I can stand on one end of your desk and piss in the trashcan on the floor on the other end of the desk without getting a drop on your desk. Double or nothing.
The auditor surveys the situation carefully. He's thinking there's absolutely no way Jones can do this, and takes the bet. Jones gets up on one end of the desk, whips it out, and procedes to urinate. He can't quite reach the trash, much less keep from getting the desk wet, and urinates all over the desk. The auditor is absolutely thrilled. However, when he looks at the lawyer, he realizes the lawyer is crying.
A: Mr. Lawyer, why are you crying? I just got out of a $5000 bet with your client.
Lawyer: Yeah, good enough for you. But yesterday, Jones bet me $25,000 that he could come in here today for the audit, piss all over your desk, and you'd be happy about it!!!!!
C
The guy and the lawyer walk into the auditor's office.
Auditor: Mr. Jones. You show an income of $354,000 but you don't list any occupation. What do you do?
Jones: I'm a very accomplished bet maker.
A: I find it hard to believe that you can make that much money making bets.
J: I'll prove it. I bet you $2500 I can bite my own eye.
Knowing his mouth can't reach that far, the auditor takes the bet. Jones takes out his glass eye and bites it. Jones wins $2500. The auditor is not terribly happy.
J: Tell you what. Double or nothing I can bite my other eye.
Since Jones can see, the auditor figures he's safe because Jones can't have 2 glass eyes, and takes the bet. Jones takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. The auditor is distraught.
J: Tell you what. I'm a fair man. I bet you I can stand on one end of your desk and piss in the trashcan on the floor on the other end of the desk without getting a drop on your desk. Double or nothing.
The auditor surveys the situation carefully. He's thinking there's absolutely no way Jones can do this, and takes the bet. Jones gets up on one end of the desk, whips it out, and procedes to urinate. He can't quite reach the trash, much less keep from getting the desk wet, and urinates all over the desk. The auditor is absolutely thrilled. However, when he looks at the lawyer, he realizes the lawyer is crying.
A: Mr. Lawyer, why are you crying? I just got out of a $5000 bet with your client.
Lawyer: Yeah, good enough for you. But yesterday, Jones bet me $25,000 that he could come in here today for the audit, piss all over your desk, and you'd be happy about it!!!!!
C
perc-o-prince
Well-known member
Effie tells Ephus that there's a problem w/ the outhouse and he needs to take a look.
Ephus: I don't see a problem here.
Effie: Well, you have to look real close to see it.
Ephus looks closer,
Ephus: I still can't see the problem.
Effie: You have to stick our head in the hole to see the problem.
So, Ephus sticks his head in the hole.
Ephus: Phew! I still don't see the problem.
Effie: Well, you have to stand up quickly to see the problem.
Ephus: YEOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Effie: What's wrong, dear?
Ephus: That crack in the seat snagged some of my beard hairs and yanked them out!
Effie: Hurts, don't it?
Ephus: I don't see a problem here.
Effie: Well, you have to look real close to see it.
Ephus looks closer,
Ephus: I still can't see the problem.
Effie: You have to stick our head in the hole to see the problem.
So, Ephus sticks his head in the hole.
Ephus: Phew! I still don't see the problem.
Effie: Well, you have to stand up quickly to see the problem.
Ephus: YEOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Effie: What's wrong, dear?
Ephus: That crack in the seat snagged some of my beard hairs and yanked them out!
Effie: Hurts, don't it?
jasonl
New member
Since we're in the gutter
(as told by my grandpa and my dad a long time ago)
A man walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "I'll bet you a beer that I can fart the loudest in Texas."
The bartender says, "Ain't no way you gonna come in here sayin' you can fart the loudest. But let's hear what you can do"
So the man gets on top the bar, drops his pants and craps all over the bar.
The bartender says, "Hey man! I thought you said you was gonna fart!"
The man says, "Well, yeah, but even Frank Sinatra has to clear his throat before he sings"
Ok, here's a REAL Cajun joke.
Boudreaux's wife was watchin the TV and she saw dem purty girls take a milk bath. She says to Boudreaux, "Boudreaux! I wanna take one a'dem milk baths."
So Boudreaux calls the milk company and says, "Ma wife wants to take one a dem milk baths like on tv. Can you send a truck ova here to fill da bat'tub?"
The guy on the other end asks, "No problem, Mr. Boudreaux, would you want that milk Homogenized or Pasteurized?"
"Oh no, I need just enough to cover her ass, she can pass it in her eyes herself if she wants to."
(you have to get how Cajuns talk to understand)
(as told by my grandpa and my dad a long time ago)
A man walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "I'll bet you a beer that I can fart the loudest in Texas."
The bartender says, "Ain't no way you gonna come in here sayin' you can fart the loudest. But let's hear what you can do"
So the man gets on top the bar, drops his pants and craps all over the bar.
The bartender says, "Hey man! I thought you said you was gonna fart!"
The man says, "Well, yeah, but even Frank Sinatra has to clear his throat before he sings"
Ok, here's a REAL Cajun joke.
Boudreaux's wife was watchin the TV and she saw dem purty girls take a milk bath. She says to Boudreaux, "Boudreaux! I wanna take one a'dem milk baths."
So Boudreaux calls the milk company and says, "Ma wife wants to take one a dem milk baths like on tv. Can you send a truck ova here to fill da bat'tub?"
The guy on the other end asks, "No problem, Mr. Boudreaux, would you want that milk Homogenized or Pasteurized?"
"Oh no, I need just enough to cover her ass, she can pass it in her eyes herself if she wants to."
(you have to get how Cajuns talk to understand)
