"HOARDERS"

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I Don't Need Insight...

...I need help.

I have not spoken of this here before, because I like my privacy, but my partner died two months ago. I am still cleaning out the house from his incredible hoarding and packrat tendencies. I was able to maintain a reasonable level of order in the living areas, but the garage and basement - something like 2000 square feet - were piled as high as my head and packed wall-to-wall with boxes of crap. Old magazines, junk mail, grocery coupons clipped in 1997 and never redeemed - tons upon tons upon tons of it. It is costing thousands of dollars to have this stuff hauled away, just at a time when I needed my savings most.

What is really horrible about all this is that for the last two years, he was under hospice care, with a social worker in and out of here at least bi-weekly. I told her loud, long and often what was going on and about the repercussions it would have on me when the inevitable happened. I was told repeatedly that it was "his decision" to hoard, and that as long as he forbade anything to be done with the tons of stuff, nothing could be done.

Hoarding is a disease, folks. And we seriously, seriously need some system of intervention and treatment.

Please, no condolences. I'm so far past tears it isn't funny; the political correctness of the system has rendered me broke, exhausted, and stunned. P.S.: The debris problem is in addition to finding out that life insurance I'd been told was in force was long lapsed. You think you know somebody....
 
Sandy.. can't you advertise something somehow on Craigslist, or a local rag about free collection to go.. must take all. etc. I'd almost guarantee you'd get someone to come take the stuff.
 
I suppose there can be a fine line between collecting and compulsive hoarding... the lack of value of stored items would seem to be a qualifier for the hoarding side. Also perhaps the lack of an orderly way to store and manage the collected items while maintaining the utility of the living areas.

Interesting article on compulsive hoarding on Wiki:

 
Well, speaking for myself I'm not too bad. However I know quite a few people with serious cases of hoarding. I mean whole houses packed full to the ceiling. Sometimes packed so full you can't even walk around or enter certain rooms they are so full! 'TRIPPIN!!!!!!!!

AND its not just appliances--------it can be pets, or money----yes MONEY! Its amazing what those hoarders who always cry "poor" have stashed-away!!!!
Or ALL of the above!!!!!!!

Or all kinds of tchotchkes and things. If I had the financial wherewithall to do it, I would likely hoard vintage automobiles. I used to.
Buy an old, abandoned automobile dealership in the bad side of town,you know, something you can drive the cars right into and store them, clean it up, get it heated and air conditioned and an alarm system installed-----then "fill 'er up"!!!!!!!

I guess I'd still better watch that show.
 
Sorry!

Didn't mean to pop off like that, guys, but when I saw this thread, I was taking a very short break from hauling - literally - hundreds of boxes of trash up the stairs from the basement. I've been down there for days.

I cannot wait to get my life back, is all I can say. Thanks for letting me blow off some steam here.
 
I could NEVER, NEVER, NEVER tolerate living that way, no matter how much I loved someone...it would be out the door in the garbage so fast or I'd be out the door. It's dirty and disgusting having all that garbage in the house. A friend's neighbor is a hoarder, and the rats that her shit attracts make themselves known in my friend's yard, and occassionally stray into the house. Remember, these aren't cherished posessions...it's garbage. Sorry you had to live through that.
 
Well, Sandy, although you're going through a rough patch, I thank you for sharing because it prompted me to do some local cleanup around here... stuff that just collected and I put off sorting through/cleaning up. It's not anywhere near as bad as pictured but it definitely needs to be fixed. Have a annual mini-dumpster arriving at the end of the month to help with the process. Mostly, though, it's taking time away from computer and DVD's (finally done with OZ) to tend to the de-cluttering.
 
Sandy

As you requested, no condolences. Nevertheless, if you need any help or just want to relieve some frustration, just know that I am here.

Robb
 
I have a friend whose parents are hoarders---both of them. They live in a church which they purchased and converted into a huge house, and the photos of the place are truly frightening. Imagine something the size of a church with little, narrow paths to walk in, boxes of everything from old newspapers to thousands of canning jars to god-knows-what from floor to ceiling.

I'm an anti-hoarder. When I go, there will be very little to "clean up". I give things to GoodWill or ARC all the time. If I don't use it, it's out the door.
 
If the stuff is somewhat salvagable, have one heck of a yard sale....might as well get something out of it, we did this week end with several neighbors, clearing out basements and garages, had a block sale, sold the stuff super cheap, many made a lot of money, the rest went to the goodwill...

if not, get one big dumpster and start heaving!

I'm half tempted to come down there and give you a hand, get a work party started and have it done in a day....maybe a wash-in clean out party?
 
My wife is a compulsive hoarder. She has been watching "Clean House", and it opened her eyes and she is working on doing better. She had another eye opening experience about a year ago when she caught me slipping stuff out on garbage day. When she confronted me, I told her I had been doing a little at a time for over a year and she hadn't noticed anything was gone, so why did she need that stuff. Now we have a "Don't Ask, Don't tell" policy on me throwing old stuff away.
 
I am a get rid of and my wife is the hoarder or keeper. I just said last week we needed a 2000 sq ft building just for her stuff (talking things from her parents and grandparents) plus things from her teaching for 32 year and only vertical serfaces in our house so things would not be covered with her things. Since she is a red head I got the wrath of RED for a couple of days.

I have taken things out to the trash too but not a big enough dent in garage yet.
 
God bless all of you for putting up with that. It is indicative of emotional and/or cognitive problems.

I will not, under any circumstaces, deal with it. Period.

This way of being hurts those around the hoarder. My mother's aunt was like that and it was difficult to deal with. She wanted the "thing" to tigger the memories. HINT: take a picture and get rid of the "thing". Pictures trigger an emotion/memory just as well.

Things do not bring emotional or financial security; never did and never will.

Enjoy ALL things-- in moderation.
 
AndrewinOrlando

It was a complicated situation, not what you seem to think. We'd had an off-again, on-again relationship for over 30 years when he became seriously ill. He asked if I'd come back into the situation to provide care; he couldn't do anything for himself any more. It was that or watch him have to go into a VA nursing home. I was able to make enormous improvements around here, even though he had a very hard time with control issues. I was unable to impact on the basement or garage areas because he forbade it.

Robb, thanks very much for the kind words!
 
Once I get over being in the hospital and just about dying there I got to thinking that I have got to get rid of some stuff so that my partner will not have to get rid of a bunch of stuff.I hope that I get off of my lift restriction tomorrow so that I can get my stuff together.While I was in the hospital I just wandered why I needed all of that stuff.

danemodsandy I just have to say good luck to you.
 
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