Lies

[veg-o-matic]

Okay, we all know the "Famous Three" of lies
1. The check is in the mai
2. It was like that when I got here
3. Er, uhm, I forget the third one...; <br
What other ones do you encounter frequently? Some of my favorites are <br
1. "Covers in one coat." No it doesn't. It never does <br
2. "Serves 6." Six what <br
3. "These changes will make your bill easier to understand..." Hasn't happened yet.. <br
4. "Foolproof!" Obviously, they haven't met me <br
5. "Tastes just like chicken." No it doesn't. And it smells like Clorox <br
veg

 

[retromom]

How about....

6. "This won't hurt a bit." Ok then, let me do it to you <br
7. "One size fits all." What...all lilliputians <br
8. "Easy to assemble." Oh, I'm sorry; I've misplaced my engineering degree <br
9. "Like a good neighbor." My neighbor wouldn't keep raising my insurance rates or deny my claims <br
10. "Low carb, low fat, low calories." Yeah, and it tastes like @#&% <br
Just a few of the ones that irritate me <br

 

[joeekaitis]

11. "Please hold. Your call is important to us." The 2 hours out of your life don't mean a rat's hairy hiney <br
12. "Do your banking online 24 hours a day, 7 days a week!" Except for regularly scheduled maintenance any time we damn well please <br
13. "15 ITEMS OR LESS. NO CHECKS PLEASE." Uh huh. Yeah, right <br
14. "Detergent AND Fabric Softener in ONE!" Just what the world's laundry rooms needed: An overpriced product that does neither job as well as Purex and Bounce for half the price <br
15. "10-minute Oil Change" AFTER we change the oil on the 47 cars ahead of you.

 

[goatfarmer]

16. "Sure I'll respect you in the morning.&quot <br
17."This extended warranty covers EVERYTHING!&quot <br
18. "The light was yellow,officer&quot <br
19 "It's not what you think it is."

 

[kenmore1978]

One time I was in one of those lines and the lady ahead of me REALLY had some gall. I don't mind people pushing that rule by a couple or maybe even 3 itmes, but this lady had EIGHT items over the limit. Really irritated me. I called her on it, in a voice loud enough to be heard by everyone else in line. I bet she thought twice about trying to pull THAT trick again. Then there's the people who want to buy cigarettes, which the clerk (at least here in CA) has get from a locked cabinet away from the checkstand which takes up more time. Wish they'd stop selling cigarettes in supermarkets

 

[rocky2]

20. "You're in good hands with....." ooooops!

 

[partycycle]

Wow! So many different 3 lies I did not know.

Here are the 3 Lies I am familiar with <br Delete by a very annoyed webmaster.

 

[kenmore1978]

oops

I think you may have crossed the "line" on that one, Partycycle

 

[pulsator-power]

Double oops

Yes, I think you did cross the line. That gets posted in the new forum not created yet called "unmentionables&quot <br
How about
"Well, it's really not that serious a condition&quot
Yeah, Bull@$#%
o
"That med you're taking is safer for your kidneys than the last one you were taking&quot
Then why did'nt you tell me that in the first place
or how about the price estimates
"Well, it should'nt cost any more than 100 bucks&quot
Sure!

 

[joeekaitis]

The Lie
"If you pick off all the anchovies, you'll NEVER even TASTE it.&quot <br
The Truth
The tiniest speck of anchovy tastes like you're trying to swallow a whole salted rotting whale.

 

[partycycle]

Dear Messrs. Kenmore 1978 and Pulsator-Power <br
Gentlemen, I understand that I have offended you and possibly other members. Please accept my apology? I am truly, very sorry <br
If not for your(s) unyielding good judgment. Also, from the members of, The Center of Operations: “Purity League”. And not to overlook, the staunch, steadfast, unfaltering, stalwart, excruciatingly austere, diktat edict of : “D O N ’ T”. Daughters of No Tolerance <br
I admit. I am slow to learn. Most indebted to you gentlemen for your counseling. Thank you very much. Get home safe. Sweet dreams too <br
As Ever, Party Cycle

 

[bethann]

Partycycle

Are you out of xanax again?

 

[westytoploader]

Yes...Partycycle, cut the immaturity sh*t and post something DECENT!! <br
There are young people reading these too!

 

[Unimatic1140]

Sorry guys and gals, another member was kind enough to just email me to let me know that this was posted in this thread, I didn't realize that. I just deleted the text inside that post only as opposed to deleting the entire thread.

Partycycle, post anything like that again and it will be your last post as well as the last post from anyone in the vicinity of your IP address. Apology not accepted, you should have known better, it doesn't take rocket scientist to know where something like that is appropriate and where it is not appropriate.

Talk about a waste of bandwidth. Since I don't always read the threads that don't interest me, if anyone sees anything inappropriate posted like that please don't wait, email me immediately.

 

[kenmore1978]

Offended

I wasn't personally offended (I'm an over half-century old person, I've heard it all) but I knew it wasn't appropriate for some people on here, at least not in a public forum.

 

[fixerman]

I missed the delete. Got my curiosity up. What did it say? Someone email it to me. I am also over a half century old. I am way too old to be offended.

 

[Designgeek]

It was basically a vulgar rendition of something someone might say in order to entice someone else to do something they might not otherwise do. About which the less said the better, believe me you've already heard it more than once and it's about as funny as asparagus-flavored ice cream, which is to say, not.

I'm just as happy to see this place stick to a G rating with occasional forays into the PG-13 realm for spice. What a great thing, to have a refuge from a world that seems hell-bent on rubbing peoples' noses into every manner of violent or vulgar explicitude at every corner! And in particular, where us gay folks can be happy & gay in a G-rated way!

 

[retromom]

Say Yay!

Designgeek:

You are a nice, sensible guy! Thank you for echoing my sentiments about keeping all g to pg-13 rated. There are young people on this site as well as those of us who tire of all the garbage shoved down our throats.

Once again, I toast you! )

Venus

 

[jasonl]

The BIGGEST Lie of them all

"NEW and IMPROVED!"

 

[alr2903]

When 6 more of those d@$n phone prompts r added

"We hope the recent enhancements to our phone system, has increased your overall satisfaction". LOL, yes I wanted to key in 25 more numbers and HOLD LONGER

 

[Designgeek]

Retromom: Thanks!

Alr2903: Oh yes, I know well that last one, seeing as I design & program those things. And you can be quite sure the ones I set up do *not* behave like that.

Though, I have lately noticed a trend toward nonprofit agencies wanting phone menus from hell. I think this is due to their being squeezed for money as a result of ongoing changes in the tax code that are IMHO designed to put them out of business.

Worst of all are the ISPs and domain registrars, as well as Ebay, that do everything within their power to avoid ever allowing one of their customers to call them on the phone. Customer service, my derriere! (is that the proper French spelling for that?).

 

[fixerman]

One of the things that annoy me about calling Qwest if you have a question. After listening to several options(and repeated in Spanish) and keying in several options to get to the right person I am then asked to key in the phone number you are calling about. Then the first thing the actual person asks is "What is the phone number you are calling about". Why ask to key it in if the actual person has to ask anyway? Stupid!

 

[jasonl]

It takes a long time to get tech support

Because they're routing you to India.

And good luck after that because they really don't understand you, they're reading from a script.

 

[angus]

My personal pet peeve lie:
1997 - from the Customer Service Assistant to the Chairman of General Electric: "Don't worry - that new washer we are sending you is much more reliable than the old filter flo design. You will be amazed"

Perhaps it wasn't a total lie....I truly WAS amazed - 18 months, three transmissions, two sets of tub suspension straps and a flooded first floor later..........amazed is putting it mildly.

 

[westytoploader]

"Don't worry - that new washer we are sending you is much more reliable than the old filter flo design."

EWWWWW---I CAN'T BELIEVE ANYONE COULD BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!!

A lie indeed...our '96 "plastic GE" lasted only 2 years until the tub started spinning during agitation and wouldn't shift into spin properly.

 

[pulsator-power]

More like a pet peeve.....
Ever notice how people(bosses, supervisors in particular)
point out your bad points & not your good ones. What you've done wrong & not what you've done well.....Grrrrrr!
Jerry

 

[bethann]

Jerry

That's because their not a very good boss! Trust me, you get a lot more done with sugar!