Old People and How family treats them.. Makes me sick

[toggleswitch]

Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold onto.

and with one or two men in a household, there IS someting to hold onto.......

(ducks and runs)

 

[exploder321]

Kevin thats a bad situation... I can take a little faith in knowing that i will be the primary one for care.. Plus my family isn't a bunch of homo phobes

 

[oxydolfan1]

My mom is seventy-eight and I adore her...drives me berserk, but also reminds me, now in the worst of times, that I was worth worrying over.

She lives upstairs (she just retired last year)....think Sophia Petrillo stirring sauerbraten instead of sauce...I won't have it otherwise.

Does this vex my resident Stan Sbornak? Well, yeah....and I accept full responsibility for the effect my choices have made...and still, I have to do what I have to do. I shouldn't have to choose between the love in my heart, and the love of my life....but them's the breaks.

In the New York area, assisted living centers and nursing homes are not really an option anyway for the working class....the facilities are holes, the staff think nothing of beating the residents, and all this is prohibitively expensive anyway...

I'd rather have my home be a safe haven from all that. My mom's had more than her fair share of abuse already. My sister is too busy living her own life, and I'd rather not have her underfoot anyway...

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I get a lot more out of it than I give.

I relate to the struggles and challenges that the primary caretakers of elderly parents face when it all becomes insurmountable, however....these are not easy choices.

 

[rp2813]

Guys, thanks for your support. The good thing is, my sister is cool about my lifestyle (I think she's a lesbian in denial anyway) and supports pretty much any decision I make. She's pushing for getting my mom out of the house and thinks a 911 call when she gets her next spell will do the trick but I know the hospital would just advise to send her back home and wouldn't insist on her being in a skilled nursing home or anything like that. My mom's own doctor has already said as much. We need to go about the new living arrangements in a way that gets my mom to buy in to a certain degree.

On 12/26 my sister and I will be getting together with some cousins who have all been through this with one of their parents. My mom will for sure be the topic of conversation and we might be able to develop a strategy with their help.

I never thought it would come to this and I know my mom hates not being in complete control of her situation. I figured she was going to be on top of her game right up until the end. We just have her on the antidepressants so she won't keep getting frustrated and agitated.

One thing we can all learn from a lot of the posts here is that you need to expect the unexpected because things are not likely to go the way you thought they would.

Ralph

 

[oxydolfan1]

Life is never what you think it's going to be.

 

[panthera]

To all, thanks

Especially Steve, 'cause for him to write three serious paragraphs in a row must be a new record.
I tried again this week - sent an email to all and sundry that we should meet over Christmas and talk about what to do when, where things are, etc.
Got back the standard "we are here, everything is fine, you are hysterical, the doctors don't know anything, the lawyer is paid to be overly worried, the specialists don't understand our parent's, they will deal with problems when they arise, not me.
Oh, goody. Now I have it in writing. I am seriously tempted to let them handle it the next time.
But I can't - not at the cost of my parents. Bad situation.
Thanks for the advice - I do need to just accept that things are the way they are and hope for the best.

 

[toggleswitch]

.....must be a new record.

 

[toggleswitch]

Bitter in aisle 1..........

"I wanna be a Lesbian, 'cause lesbians are so neat"- From The 10% Review. I guess you just have to know when you are licked.

On this side of the fence, I guess we have to learn to smile as the knife enters and the salt, vinegar and lemon juice is added to the wound.

 

[toggleswitch]

Eating my way to happiness...

salt, vinegar and lemon juice.

add shredded cabbage and olive oil and you have a cabbage salad! ("cole-slaw", if you must!)

when times get rough, I get hungry!

 

[toggleswitch]

~you need to expect the unexpected because things are not likely to go the way you thought they would.

The only time in life we can be disappointed is if we have expectations.