Civil Communication
I am 55 and have been around the block several times. I was always identified as a "girly man" and it was sometimes assumed, I was gay. I did not come out or begin to participate in a homosexual acts until 2 years ago. The perceptions however, have been what I had to respond to and live with, my entire life.
Having been perceived as a queer, I managed to have a very successful career, raised four healthy children, participated in organized religion was a mover and shaker in the community.
Freed from sterotyping into male behaviors,I found many opportunities to talk with men. Men on the pipleline in Alaska, in the South, the Midwest, throughout the country. My experience has been that men are willing and receptive to an opportunity to take off the iron collar and talk about the struggle of filling the male role model, as they perceived it for themselves. Communing with a women in such a fashion, is not the same. A women cannot understand.
As flawed as my masculinity is, I could still understand what it's like to have everything be your job, your fault, your responsibilty and a reflection of your reputation, simply because of your gender. It has been my extreme pleasure for almost 25 years, to simply hold witness to universal struggle of being male and living up to the set of expectations that is implicit in being male in America. The greatest gift for any man, is to be in a place where even for a moment, you don't have to be strong
I think of all the moments my heart will beat in my lifetime. Then I think of how many of those moments, my clothes will be off, if front of another person. Almost none. The arguement of what I do with my genitals is moot with everyone but the person I am looking naked at. That is why I believe a certain amount of decorum and civility serves me. I am not obligated to preoffend every person I meet, before I know if the subject of gay sex will ever come up. (No Pun) Univerally men are weary. The life we thought we'd be living in our 50's is unlike everything I prepared myself for. To maintain the status Quo, let alone move ahead requires more savvy, skill and pressure than many of us can conjure. All around us, bastions of security, pension plans, lending institutions, retirement, are all disappearing. I believe, as men, our struggle is more universal than we give voice to. At the end of the day, if we were blindfolded, the penis has no brain. Warm, moist and rythmic brings the same response
Soapboxing and driving each other further into our isolated corners is delaying acceptance of the real truth. We are tired, frightened and need each other more than we admit <br
Intolerances in the Gay community are as rampant and cruel as anything ever devised in a concentration camp
Be 55, not having left the gym with toned abs, wearing what is considered the acceptable label and walk in a bar. Old Gay Alert. Then, hook up with an old gay and hear, "If I meet one more person who doesn't own their own house, have a 401K and able to join me when I have a chance to fly to Mexico, I 'll just scream." You must look a certain way, be seen with a right crowd, use the correct speech, have the appearance of wealth and HEALTH and YOUTH, regardless of your age, socio income level and choice of metro, leather or stank.
Intolorance is universal. It is not a phenominon known only to men in states with South as the first word
Many have posted their joy of arguing for the sake of it. Love that turned over soup tureen! Haha. This thread is evidence that arguing is devisive, hurtful and polarizing. When we didn't agree in the first 20 posts than the rancor increased, the generalized statements became more volatile and we have become completely distracted with attacking each other and defending our point. At his very moment our government, the real enemy in this, is happyily whistling a tune and methodically stripping each of our rights and hope, gay and straight.
They won, because someone here "loves" to argue <br
Gentlemen, we are not the enemy <br
Kelly
