SactoTeddyBear
Well-known member
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2004
- Messages
- 1,302
Don't try to sneak up on your man/woman:
A couple was invited to a masked costume Halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by
not going. So he took his Batman costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain, and, as it was still early, decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband, to see how he acted when she was not with him. She put on a Goldilocks costume.
So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he cuddle and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her.
She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband. After some more to drink he finally whispered a little proposition in her ear and she
agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie in the back seat.
Just before unmasking , she slipped away and went home and put her costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked
what kind of time he had.
"Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good
time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance.
When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went ! into the spare room and played poker all evening." "You must have looked really silly wearing that Batman costume playing poker all night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm.
To which the husband replied, actually, I gave my Batman costume to your Dad. Apparently he had a whale of a time. He told me he got lucky with a hottie in a Goldilocks outfit"
> Moral of the story: Don't try to sneak up on your man!!!
_______________________________________________________________
Drinking in a Biker Bar:
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink.
Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table.
He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway butt naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!"
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!"
The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing.
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma
liked it!"
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and
says..
"Grandpa,....... Go home, you're drunk.
More Funny Times, Steve
SactoTeddyBear...
A couple was invited to a masked costume Halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by
not going. So he took his Batman costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain, and, as it was still early, decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband, to see how he acted when she was not with him. She put on a Goldilocks costume.
So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he cuddle and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her.
She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband. After some more to drink he finally whispered a little proposition in her ear and she
agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie in the back seat.
Just before unmasking , she slipped away and went home and put her costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked
what kind of time he had.
"Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good
time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance.
When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went ! into the spare room and played poker all evening." "You must have looked really silly wearing that Batman costume playing poker all night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm.
To which the husband replied, actually, I gave my Batman costume to your Dad. Apparently he had a whale of a time. He told me he got lucky with a hottie in a Goldilocks outfit"
> Moral of the story: Don't try to sneak up on your man!!!
_______________________________________________________________
Drinking in a Biker Bar:
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink.
Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table.
He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway butt naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!"
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!"
The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing.
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma
liked it!"
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and
says..
"Grandpa,....... Go home, you're drunk.
More Funny Times, Steve
SactoTeddyBear...
