Sick and tired.

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I know what some of you mean by becoming "invisible" after a certain age. I'm 41. After throwing myself into my career for 10 years, and not going out, I was laid off from my job.

I got into shape, dropped 40 lbs and started going out again. The experience has been nothing like it was when I was in my 20s. I've always considered myself to be a 6 on a scale of 1 to 10, but still, used to be able to walk into a bar at that time and attract men, and maybe even have some drinks sent to me.

Now, I compare the experience of attracting men to being a woman who wants to have a baby, but has gone through menopause. It's just no longer an option. I know that sounds a little extreme, but it's exactly how I feel some days.

I agree that we need to explore other venues. I occasionally attend a gay discussion group on the weekends. I'll also be visiting Pride Fest at one of my local suburbs this afternoon too. All in all, I'm just trying to put myself out there and enjoy myself. What happens, happens and what doesn't, doesn't.

Thanks for letting me vent here and best of luck to all of you!
 
Wallpaper

Is what I've become whenever I go out!

It's 10 years since I lost my other half. I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that maybe for some of us there's only "one #1" that is meant to be.

Years ago an old queen told me the following which I thought was a funny quip but now I know it was meant as an observation: "When you bend down to tie your shoe, and see the popcorn and confetti on the ground, you know the parade has passed you by".
 
Same here

Hi, Vern. It is NO different here in Arizona. I don't even do the bar thing. And such LIARS!!! One guy I met told me he was an MD at a hospital. The guy was a BABE, But I may not be the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but I'm not the dullest either. I called his hospital and asked to speak with Dr. Smith and I was told we only have an Intern here named David Smith. So F@$k the bar crap. I also don't believe that being single is a curse, at the moment I have NOTHING to be worried about, not being lied to, The list could go one for miles.....Bill in Az.....
 
Bill,

I thought you had to be a doctor to be an intern at a hospital.

Vern,

Sorry if my little joke offended. It was meant to be humorous, not critical.

In any case, I'm a bit puzzled. You say that some of the guys you've been with indicate they'd like to know you better, but when you get back in touch with them, they say they want to be "just friends". Then, later on, you complain how difficult it is to make friends... Well, maybe you should take some of those guys who want to be "just friends" up on their offers?

Also, I'm wondering perhaps if maybe you're just tired of the male personality. Maybe you should get with more women - maybe not physically, but socially and as friends. They do offer a different perspective and there is a biological difference there that works in favor of more stable relationships.
 
Interns

I don't know anything about medicine, but I just knew I was being lied to. I just don't see why guys need to lie about anything. If you don't have anything to say. then say nothing. I think Vern and I will find our "to be " husbands when we least expect it.....Bill in Az....
 
Bill, how was he lying to you? He told you he was an MD, which was true. You're the one who "doesn't know anything about medicine". To blame him for that is not only clueless, it's incredibly shallow.
 
Well, seems to me it was the hospital at bit at fault... they answered the question "Do you have a Dr. Smith there" with a implied negative, as in, "We only have an intern named David Smith". I guess hospital protocol is that even though David had a doctorate in medicine (that's what a medical degree is), it was customary to refer to such people as doctors only after they'd been licensed (ie, finished their internship). Oddly, he could have been a PhD and been addressed as doctor in any institution... So by my way of thinking, he is a doctor outside of the hospital, just not licensed to practice medicine unsupervised. Kind of like a medical doctor with a learner's permit. That said, there's plenty of medical doctors with inflated egos and this guy, since he sort of exaggerated his standing (or at least left it incompletely qualified) might be one of them.

Anyway, I personally view anyone who's been able to complete medical school intact as deserving the appellation "Doctor" just as much as PhD's and others with doctorates are addressed. But I wouldn't let one practice medicine on me unsupervised until he or she had been licensed.
 
In all our hospitals

Interns are NOT refered to as DRs .And have a totally different classification. If you call any of the hospitals in this area and ask For Dr *** and he is a intern you will be told the exact same thing. "We do not have a Dr. by that name we have a intern by the name of.....
 
OK, I see. The convention of not calling interns "Doctors" is probably to prevent them from passing themselves off as such to someone who is in need of medical assistance.

There are ALL sorts of doctors, though. That was my point. There are PhD's who insist on being addressed as "Doctor" at least in a professional setting. And then there are optometrists who say they are doctors because they have a DO or whatever an optometry degree/license is, even though at best they spent a year of two in optometry school and would not be good choices to ask for advice about any serious medical condition.
 
It's not just custom . . .

The reason many hospitals may not use the term "Doctor" for those who have a medical education but are not yet licensed is that it may be illegal to do so. In many states one may not use a professional designation subject to state licensure unless one is licensed. In the case of an intern, he has a doctorate but since medical licensure requires an internship that he has yet to complete he isn't legally a doctor.

While some of this may sound silly, it's important as there is no way for the state to verify that every school which grants doctorates is truly legitimate - a quick perusal of the net will bring forth plenty of "doctorates" in various professions, including medicine, which aren't worth the paper they're written on. The state can however control both the testing and experience required for licensure, and the eligibility to take the test in the first place. Thus, once a professional is licensed it can be seen that he's met at least the minimum standards for his license, and the use of a professional designation is a perk of that process.
 
I am associated with a teaching institution and am involved with residency programs as an administrator and paper pusher. Intern is their first year after medical school. After that, they are reffered to as resident. In the state of Texas, they may obtain a medical licence while they are in training for a residency program, but that's not usually allowed until after their first year (intern). They may moonlight with the medical license, but they are still restricted to 80 hours a week on average over 4 weeks whether that be while moonlighting or during their training time. Once they finish a residency, they are board-eligible to become board-certified in their specialty. So, once they receive their MD after medical, they are free to hang their shingle out and practice, they just may never sit for a board exam and become board-certified in any knd of specialty. Many people greet them as Doctor XXX once they start their residency training, I'm not one who usually does unless it's in a public forum such as a meeting.
 
ptcruiser51

for many, the parade has not only passed them by, it has runned them over.....twice....a little humor...

on another note..........
Don't think of yourself as old...think VINTAGE...we are what we collect....I was always attracted to older men, they had good looks, maturity, knowledge, experience, knew what they wanted, better than any "blow in their ear to give them a refill TWINK" out there!...but thats my opinion/experience!mine is actually 3 years senior to me...we didn't meet until I was 26, young in a way, but maturity for both on a higher level, who knew, it just happened...for those young ones who turn you down, they don't know what their missing, all they really wanted is a Sugar Daddy, as for the DRAMA, you don't need it or them...

and for a quick "power of prayer"...lets take a few seconds and send good thoughts out to Vern...he needs some good KARMA sent his way...thats why were here for everybody...
 
Sudsmaster

Don't worry hun, I wasn't offended in anyway by your joke, I just wasn't in that great of a mood. I all ready have many women as close friends, which is what keeps me from going completely insane lol. As for taking up the offers of being "just friends" with these guys, I have tried many times with no success. To me it's a way of them telling me that they don't want to really keep in touch with me at all, but don't want to be totally rude and come out and say that. So I end up getting the "lets be friends" speech when I honestly know, it won't even go that far. I can be friends with someone I've once dated and be totally ok with it. I did with one friend for a few years, but then we just drifted apart, as some friendships do. So I do appreciate your help and advice Sweety. As usual I just gotta try again, or just say fuck it all for now. I sometimes want to get to the point where if someone does show interest in me I just want to act like a total bitch and act like I'm not impressed. Something tells me I may have better luck since that seems to be the way these guys around here are. You know, play hard to get.
 
Thank you all!

And I do want to personally thank all of you for your kind words and support. You've given me some great advice and are starting to pick up my spirits. You have no idea how thankful and grateful I am for that. It's so heartwarming to know that there are some good, quality gay men out there that I can connect with, who have been through the same shit I've been going through for the past 12 years. My mom once told me that I'll meet many, many frogs before meeting "The One". My only question is, how the hell many more do I have to go through lol.
 
Well, here I am at near age 55 and a thankless and unproductive journey the last 8 years--nothing to show for it but rejection and hurt. Add to this, I live where no one wants to come and live unless you really like small town living. But I have to stay here for economic and retirment medical benefits reasons. Someone actually wants to stop on their way back to Dallas and take me out for dinner--a friend of a guy I used to work with. We will see. Otherwise, those around here are all twinks and under 30 (no THANK YOU) or they're already hitched, and the ones who aren't hitched, just wanna play around--again NO THANK YOU!!! What's a poor cute, adoreable middled aged bear to do.
 
I still think there's a difference between casually telling a social acquaintance "I'm a doctor" and actually setting up a medical office without a license - or passing oneself off as a doctor to anyone in need of medical help - or passing oneself off as a doctor in a professional situation - when one hasn't jumped through all the hoops as yet.

"I'm a doctor" may just be a quick way of conveying "I got my MD from medical school, I'm in my first year of internship at XYZ Hospital, wanna go out for a date?". I agree it's not being totally forthright but OTOH I don't think it passes into the sphere of professional malfeasance.

There's a lot of bending of the rules in reality - at least as far as engineering goes. I know a number of companies that advertise themselves as Engineering this or that, without a single engineer on staff - and in one case, without a single employee or owner with a college degree. In the IT world, people are given various "engineering" certificates - like Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer - also without an engineering degree. My understanding is that this is not legal and that one must be a licensed engineer to use that title. But maybe the wording that goes before the "engineer" part is what lets it squeak by the state boards.

Question: Is an intern an MD?
 

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