Testing HIV +

[danemodsandy]

Let's Look at the Bright Side:

I know that the new drugs are not everything the pharmaceutical industry would like people to believe, but they have turned a certain death sentence into a medical condition that can be managed, hopefully until such time as even better medicines come along.

We no longer get that "sinking feeling" when we realise we haven't seen a friend in a while.

We no longer see concealer makeup slathered over mysterious bumps.

We no longer hear people coming up with elaborate "cover stories" to explain weight loss.

We no longer have to play Telephone Detective to locate people we haven't heard from in a while, eventually ending up talking to a hostile parent who is ashamed of what their child has contracted, and who really doesn't want to talk about it.

We aren't making endless hospital visits, only to find the laughing, sexy, vital friends we knew wasted to near-skeletal weight and in terrifying despair.

We don't shun those who are infected because we have misinformation about what spreads HIV and what does not.

We don't go to nearly as many funerals, and when we do, we aren't coping as often with family who clearly wish none of "those people" were present.

We don't end up forever talking about the latest theories and therapies at parties or at bars, searching for pitiful scraps of hope.

We are informed, we are protected, and we have a fallback position if something goes wrong. I personally know of 24 people who would have given anything - anything - if such a situation had existed when they were sick.

It ain't perfect now. It is better.

 

[sudsman]

A MESSAGE TO ALL!

Funeral of the Month was a good month . more like of the day here. Their were days and a number of them I attended 2 or3 funerals. 1 week I will never forget there were 12 that week. Here and friends in Dallas. When you see the pain on the faces and scars YES, Scars of the disease on the hands and faces to the point you dont know who that is laying there But you know that was one of YOUR Friends, you WILL NEVER FORGET!And many times when I came out of the Funeral Home and Church and was being picketed by low life sucm that have no respect for family or them selves And called Faggot, Queer and Whore as I walked to my car and watched the familys greif. NO I WILL NEVER EVER FORGET!

 

[spiceman1957]

To all the guys,

espcially the younger ones. As some of you may know I am a RN and have been working in Public Health for over 15 years. Brent, I know exactly where you are coming from. I don't want to hurt any young person's feelings here, but I'm seeing more young gay men 14-23 years ago who are having high risk sex, okay barebacking I said it and are becoming HIV +. They take it so lightly and I have even heard of special parties where they get to pick out a guy(s) who will infect them, sort of badge of honor if you will. All they know is that if they become infected, they just "take a pill" and everything will be alright. WRONG! This is not something like high bloodpressure or diabetes. You will have this virus for the rest of your life and will probably die from complications from HIV/AIDS. Remember you can be infected for months or years without having symptoms until its too late. I'm 52 and can remember the 80s where people (and some of my friends) were dropping like flies. In my state of NC, we are having a terrible epidemic of Syphilis which HIV usually follows as well. Also in my state, there is too little sex education being taught...Bible Belt you know. HIV is still around, and will be around. Please listen up!! Many states of doing "Opt Out Testing" where every health care provider is suppose to be testing "ALL Patients" for HIV. Take advantage of this when you see your doctor at your regular appointment. Now I will get off my soap box.

 

[ronhic]

As a child of the very late 60's....

....I was a teenager in the 1980's.

I remember watching Australian 60 minutes when HIV first came out.

I vividly remember sex education at school. This was one topic that was never really discussed at home yet here I was at 11yrs of age handling a condom in 6th grade for the first time.

Sex ed. continued until I finished school. Very light at first, then getting more and more indepth.

Homosexuality was also touched on and how to be carefull against HIV/AIDS...

To this day I am eternally gratefull to the education system in Canberra that was so diligent in making sure EVERYONE was aware from an early age on what to/not to do....I'm sure it has helped save many lives...

NOW, as for these people that actually want HIV. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.....and frankly think they have bigger 'belonging' issues that they need assistance with.

 

[yogitunes]

You know what gets me in all this, are educated mature guys playing with younger guys and not passing on the education, and reality of safe sex, but this "no care" attitude, by both sides...education whether they want it or not should be introduced and if they don't want to hear it or refuse to use a condom, thats your sign to stay away....

and to some of the older guys out there, it great to show the younger generation how it's done, train them if you will, many young ones don't have a clue of what their doing, both practicing safe sex and performance, you owe it to them and yourself....if you have to,(let me try to keep this PG)instruct them how to use their talent, and turn something mediocre into mind blowing, don't waste time dabbling at the top, take it to the base, get hands on experience if you must....

After 20 years I still play safe with the same partner...training back then has taught me "I AM VERY GOOD AT WHAT I DO!"

 

[andrewinorlando]

There are a number of members here, as well as friends of mine, too, who are far from morally bankrupt "party boys". Respectable, successful, intelligent people contract HIV also. Sometimes it's a case of poor judgement, other times, a broken condom, sometimes through plain deception of a trusted partner. The younger generation may indeed be guilty of extreme ignorance because they have not seen what some of us older folks have seen in our past. Name calling and judgements are what I'd expect of many so-called holy rollers, but not what I'd expect from those of us who know better. Granted, no one can save anyone who doesn't want to be saved, but we can sure as hell help to educate the ignorant every chance we get. AIDS may no longer be a death sentence, but it does carry a social stigma to a great degree, and guarantees one a lifetime of uncertainty at best. It is NOT a "bad persons" disease, and no one "gets what they deserve". I'd expect to hear that from Anita Bryant.

 

[jeffg]

> It is NOT a "bad persons" disease, and no one "gets what they deserve". I'd expect to hear that from Anita Bryant. <

Who are you quoting? No one made either of those statements in this discussion.

 

[toggleswitch2]

Preventing transmission of disease

In Kindergarten one is now taught "If it's wet and it's not yours, don't touch it".

That pretty much sums it up, eh?

 

[whitekingd]

My fear of HIV is what has prevented me from having much of a sex life. I am 44 years old, and have had intercourse maybe 10 times or less. It's been difficult as I have a raging sex drive! But I am afraid. And when I do have sex, it is protected. And, actually, sex with yourself can be VERY gratifying. I wish others would realize that sex is not the end of the world. Actually, it can be the end of YOUR world. The HIV virus can be treated, but it also mutates. So just because the drugs work today, doesn't mean they will work tomorrow. I feel for anyone living with HIV, and hope those without it will think twice before having unprotected sex.

 

[toggleswitch2]

~So just because the drugs work today, doesn't mean they will work tomorrow.

Likewise, the HIV + having uprotected activites with other HIV + persons simply means that they may cross-infect each-other with different strains / mutations of "the bug".

 

[jetcone]

Brent

Sad truth in your experience. But what amazes me is if these guys are 50's and contracting by running around with 20 somethings then who is giving it to who? It must be the collision of two things here: lack of education in the young here and tired old queens who figure 10 years puts me into my mid 60's that's a fine time to check out.
I do see a wave of stupidity around me that is gob-smacking. Not just in sexual behavior either, take a spin on the NJ Turnpike today and you'll see it in the younger drivers male & female!!

I am too tuned into enjoying my health to risk sickness and also I admit freely: I was lucky in the 80's some guardian angle was looking over my shoulder for sure. With all that it allowed me to learn all the traps & hooks out there. Also being a bartender all through the 80's really opened my eyes, to what people expect or want from their lives.

But your view of that billboard over the highway counldn't be more correct or more shocking!!

That was definitely an ad to go positive! And here is why, I have a long time friend who has a boyfriend that is a micro-biologist. Joe.
Joe has found the only protein on the surface of HIV that does not mutate! What does this mean? It is the key to turning off the virus; all strains. He has cured symtomatic chimps of the disease. He has spent the last 10 years trying to get support so he can put this through Human trials at the NIH.

He has been blocked by every major big Pharma on the globe!!!

Big Pharma to my shocking realization would rather have YOU ALL on a 15 pill cocktail for 15 years instead of a 6 week cure. WHY??? Think of the income! Now how ugly is that?

When the institutions that were set up to help us are now preying on us what have we left?

Brent sorry you are making this discovery now in life, but I had friends back in the 80's I railled against and they just screwed up their face into mine and said "IF my numbers up my numbers up!"

And it turned out it was.

You can't take on the worry for these friends since they aren't even bothering to do that for themselves, your Mom is right. And so too is Survival of the Fittest. That applies not to just brawn but also brain power. If you think you're doomed and beyond help then you probably are.

I think you should take stock in your self, your choices and the nice person you are. The rest well its their problem really. That's a hard truth to swallow I know, but at least you have your health and are not dependent on some Big Pharma making money off your illness.

Living well is the best revenge!

 

[toploader55]

Hmmmmmmm......

I agree with Jetcone.
I think there are many cures for not only HIV , but for Cancer as well.
I have been HIV + for 28 years and never have taken any drugs. I take alot of supplements,eat right, and use accupuncture for Immune System Boosts. I also take an Herbal Cocktail.
As far as sex goes, my hands are my best friends. I will only date other HIV Poz. guys. And it's always protected.
If anyone is interested in the supplements I take feel free to e-mail me. I watch the behavior out there and it's just amazing how most young people don't care anymore.

 

[tlee618]

Big Pharma to my shocking realization would rather have YOU

Now that is pretty Damn ugly Jon, but sadly I believe that's the way it is as well!!!

 

[a440]

You are all so insightful !!

I am enjoying reading everyone's experiences here! It is also great to see that we still have people in the world (and in applianceville) that learn from experiences and not turn a blind eye....

Toggles: The links your posted! Thanks! The articles blew my mind!!!!! I have heard people talk about this but only thought that it was urban legend!

Jon: I am totally with you! I am so happy that I had an angel looking over me also during my "I don't have a brain" period. I also had So many friends die! New Orleans was terrible for a period and I had to leave. I left and went to Chattanooga. Then it hit Chattanooga hard! So many young people that I was friends with passed! Now when I look back on it at my age I see that they were just babies!
I think the hard part about the news I received from these old friends is that we were the ones going to the funerals together. We were the ones that supported each others grieving at the time and talked about how lucky we were! I just thought that they would have learned from this and that I would never hear them say that they are positive. I think that drugs have clouded their reality. They sound so aloof when you talk to them. They are just not the people from yesterday.
About your micro-biologist friend Joe. That is so shocking but I have heard this before! Scary! I have also heard lectures on Youtube and such from Doctors that admit that most of the drugs that treat HIV are actually slowly killing the patients. Most of the medications were actually band by the FDC in the 50's & 60's. I guess time will tell what the outcome of it all will be.

Everyone else: Your stories and shared experiences here are awesome! Thanks for being here!

Brent

 

[mrsalvo]

You can also include me in the "had an angel looking over my shoulder" when I didn't have common sense 100 years ago. I'm 50 this year, and knew many, many guys my age that didn't live to be 30, or even 27 or 28. I'm glad I wasn't the only one who noticed at there really aren't that many 50 year old gay men walking around, compared to younger (and older) men. We DID take a hard hit.

Does anyone remember the talk and headlines in the news when concentration camps (quaranteen camps) for gay men were seriously considered when President Reagan was in office? There were many of us who stopped getting tested for this very reason, we didn't know where we would even end up.

One thing that struck me that was touched upon was the attitude of younger men (and women) towards the older, mature, generation. I've gotten the feeling that they would just wish we would go away, that we weren't needed anymore. But they have much to learn as well.

I agree with and can identify with the posts on this thread. But God, I do hope I'm not partying with, and hanging out with, 20 year olds. I have nothing against them, I just hope I've matured beyond that!!!!!!!!

 

[toggleswitch2]

Just remember 50 goes into 20 more than 20 goes into fifty.

Greenwich Village (NYC Gayborhood)was decimated and the whole character of the place changed in the 80's and 90's. And I went to High school nearby, so I'd know!

Ditto Fires Island, NY, (Has some of the gayest places on earth per square mile). The whole town of Cherry Grove (yes that is REALLY it's name) is now all women; the Pines (Penis with the vowels reversed)is still mostly male. Da mens be ded!

 

[frontaloadotmy]

QC, did they have a

crummy math dept at that nearby High School?

 

[golittlesport]

Back when HIV/AIDS first hit, many men got sick and died who never even knew what "safe sex" was or had the opportunity to practice it. My brother was one of those.

I don't understand how people these days can know about this disease and ignore it. Is it a death-wish mentality? Even if a cocktail of pills may extend your life, why would someone want to live like that? It would certainly diminish one's quality of life.

Maybe it's drug and alcohol abuse that makes people not care about their life. My brother loved life and wanted to live so badly. He fought so hard. It makes me sick to think someone would purposely get themselves or someone else infected with HIV. Life is so precious.

 

[toggleswitch2]

~crummy math dept at that nearby High School?

LOL it was a school specializing in math and science.

Did I say that backwards? It's the GREEK blood in me.
GO FIGYA!

Two 25 y.o.s is still a lot more fun than one 50 y.o. ; let's face it dears....

(Ducks and runs!)

OPA!

 

[washendry]

Brent, Steve, Jon

Hi men, I agree with your comments totally, I've worked in EMS for 30 + years and the attitude has changed with the improvements in Drug therapy, small town Midland Mi has the same problems with the younger generation. Peace to all of you,
Kim