The WORST cooks that you have ever known?

[arbilab]

Oh my, now that you mention it I do remember that school cafeteria smell. On days it smelled like that I just got a box of choc milk and 3 or 4 cloverleaf rolls. Even that was tricky, could take 3 trips through the line to catch them still hot and not burned. Their chili-mac was adequate but most everything else inedible.

 

[daveamkrayoguy]

School Lunches:

Well, they never appealed to me, until I was in the 3rd grade & everyone was eating TACOS...!!!!

And these seemed to be so much like they were from TACO BELL!!!!

All it took was for me to lean over someone's tray, from my dried-up peanut butter sandwich, for the kid eating from it to tell me to "Buy My Own"...

I then begged my mom to get me lunch tickets & after that, not even ONE meal--even those tacos, which went from DON PABLO'S to the sub-mediocre quality of a typical school lunch--was (you guessed it!) of even "slightly" redeeming quality! Yes, a BIG "YUK!" for every meal!!!!!

I went starving & criticized for "wasting food" & "the government's money" (who provided Lunch Tickets) for many years until I started going back to bringing my own lunches from home,--and then when I was in high school & we had "open lunch" going out to the Coney Island, our local pizza place or nearby burger joint (a HARDEE'S, actually)...

-- Dave

 

[whirlcool]

On Fridays at our high school they served mac & cheese for lunch. Whew! The high school would reek of it until Monday! And it was NASTY! But in all my 4 years I avoided it by bringing my own lunch on Fridays.

 

[norgeway]

School Cafeteria!

I must say, my elementary school had THE BEST! food I think I have ever eaten!! It was wonderful, Lower Creek Elementary School, Lenoir NC. I would put their food up against most any restaurant, at leat the years I was there 1971-1977, and before that, in the late 50s my Grandmother worked there, so I am sure it was good then, my Dads first Cousin made the yeast rolls every day, and I have never tasted any better!

 

[polkanut]

I went to a parochial school for 6 years, and like Hans, our school cafeteria food was outstanding.  Our head cook would make fresh french bread everyday and it was served warm w/ real butter, OMG!  My favorite was the hot cooked rice made with milk, and served with pieces of cooked ring bologna.  The next favorite was the homemade pizza w/ seasoned ground beef topping.  In 8th grade I was a kitchen helper, so I know how hard those 3 ladies worked to make that delicious food for 250+ kids everyday.

 

[arbilab]

Lord! How does one make Mac&Cheese that reeks for 4 days? I spoze if it can be done, a school would do it.

Speaking of good institutional food, I went to tech schools at the companies who made the products, Ampex and Grass Valley Group, and both their employee cafeterias were excellent. Better overall than chain buffets like Ryan's and Golden Corral. Though both are tolerable, certain of their features turn out better than others. In no case do they "reek".

Our local commercial cafeterias like Luby's are really pretty good. Not saying my palate is refined, I once ordered seconds of an airline breakfast. Even *I* can't remember how long ago that was. But do remember what the entrees were. Omelette with sausage, or Swedish pancakes. I had one of each.

 

[circlew]

As far as cafeteria restaurants, I liked Morrison's quite well, though they tended to vary by location. I especially liked their coconut cake; still remember getting that at the one in Gulfport, MS back around 1961 or so. Morrison's was bought out several years ago by Picadilly, but they still use some of Morrison's recipes. I usually get chopped steak or shrimp there, along with slaw, mashed potatos or french fries, a roll and dessert. It's a lot of food for the money. Will likely go to the one in Jackson, MS in the next few weeks when I visit my Aunt Doris there.

There used to be a Luby's at Turtle Creek Mall in Hattiesburg that my Aunt Julie and I would eat at. They had excellent coconut cream pie.

 

[autowasherfreak]

This lady that I worked for in the 80's has to be worst and cheapest cook. She would take frozen hamburger, boil the hell out it and then take cornstarch and water and add the over cooked hamburger to it. We called it bugs in wallpaper paste, she didn't even add an seasonings to it. It was GROSS, LOL.

 

[arbilab]

BOILED hamburger? That is just SOOOO wrong.

 

[tolivac]

In the Rapid City,s Dak school system-the Downtown Central High School lunch system was EXCELLENT before the State and Fed School lunch programs took over.the food then was catored-and as good as any restuarant-you could order some things from a menu.The food turned BAD when the Fed and State lunch programs were implemented.So sad.

 

[polkanut]

Jim,

Was that supposed to be her version of gravy for "biscuits & gravy"?  YUCK!!!

 

[whirlcool]

I was trying to remember what that Mac & Cheese that smelled so awful was like. It had a main smell of burnt macaroni with a kind of cheese and bleach overtone. In the bowl it was a bright orange color and the macaroni wasn't whole, it was chopped up into little pieces like someone had stirred the hell out of it after it was cooked.

The only thing I liked was Hamburger/Cheeseburger Weds. Those tasted just like the kind you get out of the vending machines.

My mom was a pretty good cook, however she limited her spice repertoire to just salt & pepper and occasionally some garlic powder. She did make the best deviled eggs with a touch of paprika on top. But that was about it. When I came back from college and learned how to cook, I showed her how you could use additional spices to improve the flavor of food by making her dinner a couple of times. She claimed she couldn't taste any difference.

 

[autowasherfreak]

Yes, Tim, I think that's what she was trying to make. I made something similar, but I didn't boil the hamburger, and I used flour and milk to make the gravy, and I actually to the time to cook it properly and add some spices. She tired mine and was pissed off that a high school kid could cook better than her.

 

[perc-o-prince]

Not necessarily the cooks, but two meals...

My step mother cooked some nice venison chops from a deer my father had shot. Poor deer died twice! Once in the field and secondly in the pan. It was like leather! She thought they always had to be well-done, and was like that on a lot of meat. But this.... good thing she was a good cook overall!

A cousin invited us over for Thanksgiving one year. I think Rich was making pies and I made dressing. She called a little early to say the turkey was done. Rich and I looked at each other and took a walk down. The thing was still cool in the middle and putty white! She saw that the little thingy had popped up, and took it for granted that it was right! Now, we were less than two hours from dinner, so I sectioned it into pieces like you would a chicken and popped it in the oven to cook it faster. Made probably 4 trips back and forth to our house from hers for things she didn't have (nothing for gravy, etc.). I still don't know if she actually cooks or not.

Chuck

 

[appnut]

I heard of a cousin of mine (the oldest daughter of my uncle who cooked most everythinig for them) who made spaghetti once after she'd gotten out on her own and invited the rest of the family over for dinner. She didn't drain any of the fat/grease after she'd browned it. They all got sick from all that grease.

 

[polkanut]

Bob,

No need for a laxative after that meal with all that grease.  YUCK!!!

 

[abcomatic]

School food

The district that I taught in for 30 years had wonderful food. Homemade rolls (I have the receipe if anyone wants me to post it). Real mashed potatos, wonderful tuna and noodles (they still do on that one), home made chocolate cake, home made blackberry pie etc.
Wow, what good food.
Thanks for posting, abcomatic

 

[ptcruiser51]

@appnut

browning spaghetti? fat/grease? that's a new one on me.

 

[oldskool]

Rolls Recipe Please

Absolutely, please post the rolls recipe. I've got a couple of good rolls recipes - Potatoe Rolls, Oat Rolls and so forth but always looking for another good one!

I too worked in the public schools and had a similar experience. The cafeteria ladies diligently worked hard to prepare tremendous meals. MLK Middle in KC had the best - Chicken, Meatloaf, Rolls, Cinnamon Rolls, Greens, Veggies, salads, Homemade Pizza, cakes, cobblers etc... - it was all great. Everyday the smells of fantastic food filled the corridors of the building, only to heighten the desire of everyone for lunch. Oddly enough, I think it helped the educational process - we had a large enrollment, few issues in what was an "inner city" school. Of course,Dr. Allen walked the halls with a padel in his hands - the building stayed quiet during classtime - "you could have heard a mouse pee on cotton". Teachers, students and administration really got along well together.
My, my, how things have changed today - for the worse - and our kids suffer because of it!

 

[abcomatic]

Rolls and Sugar cookie receipes

HI Oldskool and everyone, It sounds like we may have taught in the same district; however, ours is in the country and small.
Here are two receipes from the former cook of 20 years ago.(This makes lots of rolls)
Rolls - Bread:
3 cups warm milk
1 Cup of shortening
1 Cup of sugar
3 teaspoons of salt
4 eggs
For the yeast:
1 Cup of warm water
3 packages of yeast
10 Cups of flour (more or less)
Do the usual kneading,rising etc.
Take dough and pinch off enough to make a good sized roll
Bake at 350 until done
Sugar Cookies:
1 Cup of sugar
1/2 Cup of shoretening
1/2 Cup of sour cream
2 eggs
1 teaspoon of salt
2 1/2 cups of flour
1/2 teaspoon of soda
1/2 teaspoon of vanilla
Cream sugar, shortening, vanilla and eggs. Add dry ingredients,
alternating with sour cream. Drop by teaspoon and pat with a glass
with sugar on the bottom of it. Bake at 350
I hope you all enjoy. All she said was: "You will know when the rolls and cookies
look right." Have fun. Gary

 

[appnut]

browning/grease

charlie, thanks for pointing that out. I dind't even proofread my ost. I meant to say, she browned the meat for the sauce. but didn't discard any of the grease. She didn't brown the pasta lol.

 

[oldskool]

Thanks Abcomatic

Much thanks for posting the recipes for Rolls and Sugar Cookies - will probably try the Rolls tomorrow. 

John

 

[58limited]

I would have to say that some of the worst meals I've had came from myself back when I was learning to cook. Otherwise, I haven't run into too many bad cooks or meals, even when I was in the army. My schools all made rather good food, I even looked forward to certain menu items.

 

In the army, the worst experience I had was getting an undercooked piece of cornbread - the center was still liquid batter.

 

Wyatt's Cafeteria in Plano, Texas had some pretty bland food, but back in the '70s and '80s it seemed most cafeteria-style restaurants took after hospitals and served bland stuff that elderly diners could tolerate. Usually liberal use of S&P made it good.

 

Hospital cafeterias seem to have changed their philosophy since then too. They now actually have foods with flavor. Presbyterian Hospital in Dallas has one of the best hospital cafeterias I've eaten at.

 

[glenfieldmathk1]

My Dad

He can't even make a can of baked beans without them exploding all over the microwave! Or he burns them.

 

[tominla]

3 great examples

What I hate is hearing how someone makes the "best Italian food in the world", and then when I taste it, it's the worst!

My goofy ex claimed her next door neighbor made the best marinara in the world. And that I needed also to "show him respect", whatever that meant. Well Don Corleone he wasn't, and his marinara was watery and ketchepy. Yech.

Then, my wife's old assistant swore up and down her "sugu" was the best spaghetti sauce in the world, and insisted on making it when we entertained guests, instead of the roast I was planning.

My wife and I watched the ingredients she bought...it was all good stuff...we have NO idea how she possibly made it taste so bad. It was tinny and kind of had a bad, fruity smell and taste. Fortunately she was not there (it had to simmer for hours don't ya know" so when we sat down and ate it we all took a bite and looked at each other. My guests didn't want to say anything, so I said it for them, this SUCKS! and we went out to dinner.

Lastly, my ex-mother in law made some sort of turkey stuffing made out of some sort of "cracker meal". It was like bad meat fudge--same consistency as fudge but meaty and thick. It was absolutely disgusting.

 

[iheartmaytag]

My sister

It isn't so much that she is a poor cook, she's just a bad shopper. 

She knows how to cook something that taste good, but she was so used to having nothing when she was married that she got by on what she had.   She has been divorced from husband #2 for over 20 years, but still thinks she doesn't deserve better.

 

Anymore her main source of cooking is a paper box and the microwave.

 

 

[washerboy]

the worst cook

Easy..my exwife!!! During the holiday season of 1989 she announced that she would be making the dressing for Thanksgiving (prior to this her mother made it and it was to die for; so out of sheer spite and jelously she wanted to show her mom up)...so the big day rolls around...she makes this amazingly "large" quanity of dressing..she put sugar in it...lots of sugar...need I say more...anyway we sit down for the holiday meal and no one could eat the mess...so she being the %**! she is/was..she proceeds to shovel down a plate full...hummm..long bout 3pm..guess who's feeling a little pukey...went to lay down on the bed...I stroll through the bedroom to use the bathroom in time to see her grab a cardboard box and vomit her guts out in the box. I had to laugh..(well actually I cracked up). So..until the day we divorced I delighted in telling this story of how she made herself sick on her own cooking. There was a reason why she didn't cook much...her other "spical" dish was called "chipped beef"..it was gross..looked like diareaha on the slice of toast...it would also crack me up when I sat down with the kids at dinner time...it also pissed her off because I would start laughing and the kids wouldn't eat...ahhhh..memories of the marriage from hell...LOL!!!