whitekingd
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Tacoma - Seattle sucks for dating!! I wish some nice guys would move up here!
Where are the nice men at in this area?
- Thread starter whitekingd
- Start date
toggleswitch2
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Good and evil are everywhere.
In what "stores" are you shopping? If you want Norstrom's or Macy's or Burdine's quality get out of Target!
And by that I mean there are certainly good ones in your area, but where are you looking?
In what "stores" are you shopping? If you want Norstrom's or Macy's or Burdine's quality get out of Target!
And by that I mean there are certainly good ones in your area, but where are you looking?
Don't get me started on Seattleites.....
People here are generally more passive-aggressive than in other parts of the country. You need to learn how to embrace our disfuntion. ;-)
Personally, I met John the old-fashioned way: Drunk, in a leather bar. It's worked for us so far.
People here are generally more passive-aggressive than in other parts of the country. You need to learn how to embrace our disfuntion. ;-)
Personally, I met John the old-fashioned way: Drunk, in a leather bar. It's worked for us so far.
Hmmm, dalangdon . . .
I love your story! I spent many years getting drunk in leather bars, not to mention IML even, but it never worked for me. Now I've come to realize that cruising the net is both cheaper and better for one's liver.
To be honest it seems as if there really aren't that many eligible men once you reach 40 or so, mostly the world seems full of guys who are partered but want a little something on the side.
I love your story! I spent many years getting drunk in leather bars, not to mention IML even, but it never worked for me. Now I've come to realize that cruising the net is both cheaper and better for one's liver.
To be honest it seems as if there really aren't that many eligible men once you reach 40 or so, mostly the world seems full of guys who are partered but want a little something on the side.
cvillewasherbo
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partnered and on the side
OMG, the personals around here, in the central shenandoah valley are full of the "discreet" "by" and "whatever." I've tried it all, am too old now to deal with it all, would actually just like a "friend" who I could lie in bed with naked, talk and forget about the sex part.
Where do you meet good guys who aren't married to another male or a female? People say go to church, join clubs, go shopping, etc. It's always the same old shit--they want a quick restroom or after church after brunch BJ. Whatever!!!
I'm done with it all.
Courtney in Virginia
OMG, the personals around here, in the central shenandoah valley are full of the "discreet" "by" and "whatever." I've tried it all, am too old now to deal with it all, would actually just like a "friend" who I could lie in bed with naked, talk and forget about the sex part.
Where do you meet good guys who aren't married to another male or a female? People say go to church, join clubs, go shopping, etc. It's always the same old shit--they want a quick restroom or after church after brunch BJ. Whatever!!!
I'm done with it all.
Courtney in Virginia
toggleswitch2
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LOL ROFL LMAO. STOP IT!
Sometimes a good satisfying meal is not about the fish or the meat and potatoes. It's about the unexpected and rich little side dishes.
oh man, what is the name of that website advertised on the Howard Stern show on SIRRIUS satelite radio for marrieds to fornicate and shapren their adultery skills. Like a woman's name.....
Sometimes a good satisfying meal is not about the fish or the meat and potatoes. It's about the unexpected and rich little side dishes.
oh man, what is the name of that website advertised on the Howard Stern show on SIRRIUS satelite radio for marrieds to fornicate and shapren their adultery skills. Like a woman's name.....
Courtney and hydralique, I significantly feel your pain. I didn't start trying to find someone until I was 47 and 7 years later, I've given up hope. And I"m not gonna settle for just sex and quickies. It hurts, I know I'm a catch, but nobody wants someone like me these days. And Courtney, I love the "friend" idea, sounds wonderful, I've never even had that. I've heard it referred to as a Cuddle Date. Sigh. Now I"m depressed. Glad I'm doing laundry and loading the dishwasher.
toggleswitch2
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While I was single recently I really enjoyed a massage buddy.
Down to underwear and never crossed the line.
Down to underwear and never crossed the line.
partnered and on the side indeed
On this side of the pond it's the same thing! I love cuddle dates and massage dates as too but it looks like I'm a rare species in my part of this country.
Never give up hope though, y'all need to think positive!
Louis
On this side of the pond it's the same thing! I love cuddle dates and massage dates as too but it looks like I'm a rare species in my part of this country.
Never give up hope though, y'all need to think positive!
Louis
speed_queen75
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I am a firm believer
That relationships, are for only a select few of gay men, i would give my left nut to be in a relationship, i have done it all, clubs, bars, shopping, love spells, you name it i have tried it, I feel your pain whitekingd, i too live in a shit hole town with absolutely no potential, seems all the "queers" here are closeted, shallow, or married. So i have com to the conclusion the is is not meant to be for me to find a man, now i am depressed, I'm gonna go play with my 72 LK...
That relationships, are for only a select few of gay men, i would give my left nut to be in a relationship, i have done it all, clubs, bars, shopping, love spells, you name it i have tried it, I feel your pain whitekingd, i too live in a shit hole town with absolutely no potential, seems all the "queers" here are closeted, shallow, or married. So i have com to the conclusion the is is not meant to be for me to find a man, now i am depressed, I'm gonna go play with my 72 LK...
I'm by no means an expert here (didn't come out until about 3 yrs ago...I'm 44) but keeping yourself out there (even in a small town) is vital. Out there does NOT mean on the internet (AW.org or manhunt or bear411 or whatever) but involved in multiple circles in the community. Here in bigger cities (Detroit), there are lots of circles which I'm aware of: music (a couple of gay mens' choruses, also a transpersons chorus, not to mention symphony/opera/etc). drama (community theater, legit theater, etc), religion (MCC churches, Dignity (gay Catholics), Integrity (gay Episcopalians)..., sports (bowling leagues, softball leagues, rugby, swim teams), chamber-of-commerces, etc etc.
Finally, make sure you're comfortable w/yourself and comfortable with expressing your wishes in a relationship. A couple of organizations I found helpful: www.mkp.org, and www.bodyelectric.org.
Finally, make sure you're comfortable w/yourself and comfortable with expressing your wishes in a relationship. A couple of organizations I found helpful: www.mkp.org, and www.bodyelectric.org.
toggleswitch2
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EUREKA.
Honestly there are not many things in life that shock me. This does.
There is nothing and nobody worth the risk of losing it all for a quickie. Or the risk of endandering your health.
http://www.ashleymadison.com/
Honestly there are not many things in life that shock me. This does.
There is nothing and nobody worth the risk of losing it all for a quickie. Or the risk of endandering your health.
http://www.ashleymadison.com/
michaelman2
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Toggle, that site is really an eye opener, pardon the pun. Actually it is sad.
speed_queen75
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That is why
I am saying that in today's times it's impossible, to find and have a good and faithful relationship, both gay and straight have their trials, however i believe that it's harder in gay relationships, " according to the statistic reports" to be faithful. That is why i have given up on ever finding some one, i see all these guys on here in their 40-50's, which by now are mature in mind, and are single, that tells me that it's almost impossible to believe that i or you will ever have some one. To jamiel here where i live there are hardly no "gay" social events, the only one that i know of are mostly all partnered but they claim it to be a "singles" event, LOL and it's lame. So there ya have it, i guess i'll be single and taking what i can when i can for a LOONNGG time..
I am saying that in today's times it's impossible, to find and have a good and faithful relationship, both gay and straight have their trials, however i believe that it's harder in gay relationships, " according to the statistic reports" to be faithful. That is why i have given up on ever finding some one, i see all these guys on here in their 40-50's, which by now are mature in mind, and are single, that tells me that it's almost impossible to believe that i or you will ever have some one. To jamiel here where i live there are hardly no "gay" social events, the only one that i know of are mostly all partnered but they claim it to be a "singles" event, LOL and it's lame. So there ya have it, i guess i'll be single and taking what i can when i can for a LOONNGG time..
Hometechdoc
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cuddle dates
ounds more like the outcome of a long term relationship to sme!!! Keep up the good fight and that special person will just fall out of no where. That hss been my experience.
ounds more like the outcome of a long term relationship to sme!!! Keep up the good fight and that special person will just fall out of no where. That hss been my experience.
Lee, the world is filled with people who wait their entire lives for Mr. or Ms. Right to 'just fall out of nowhere', and the reality is that it never happens for a lot (even most) of them. Especially for people who choose to live in rural and sparsely populated areas. Even for hetero couples, over 50% of marriages end in divorce. So they're not having any more luck than gay people in finding life partners. So I have to disagree with Allen in that regard. The more doors you knock on, the sooner one will open.
But he's right about one thing: don't ever give up hope. I'm extremely strange looking, and frankly I'd rather pull out my own fingernails than make smalltalk with people. Yet last January my partner and I celebrated our 20th anniversary together. If it can happen to me it can happen to anyone.
But he's right about one thing: don't ever give up hope. I'm extremely strange looking, and frankly I'd rather pull out my own fingernails than make smalltalk with people. Yet last January my partner and I celebrated our 20th anniversary together. If it can happen to me it can happen to anyone.
ptcruiser51
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When I think things are hopeless
I often use the following to restore my outlook:
I live in a diverse bedroom community about 27 miles from NYC, population about 50,000. Popular estimates (or so I've heard) say 10% of the population is "supposed" to be gay. So let's just say it's only 5%. That equals 2500, right? Of course, half will be women, so that leaves 1250. Of that, a wild guess would be that half of those will be either married, in a relationship, closeted, or have given up looking. Still leaves about 470 in the pool. Being realistic (maybe), let's guess that 75% of those are either creeps, drunks, users, divorced with major child or spousal issues, broke/in debt, cheaters, underage or "other". That STILL leaves at least 150 guys JUST in my town!
There's got to be someone out there for me....
I often use the following to restore my outlook:
I live in a diverse bedroom community about 27 miles from NYC, population about 50,000. Popular estimates (or so I've heard) say 10% of the population is "supposed" to be gay. So let's just say it's only 5%. That equals 2500, right? Of course, half will be women, so that leaves 1250. Of that, a wild guess would be that half of those will be either married, in a relationship, closeted, or have given up looking. Still leaves about 470 in the pool. Being realistic (maybe), let's guess that 75% of those are either creeps, drunks, users, divorced with major child or spousal issues, broke/in debt, cheaters, underage or "other". That STILL leaves at least 150 guys JUST in my town!
There's got to be someone out there for me....
patience, it will happen
im single now for 3 years after a 15 year relationship...i could have stayed in that realtionship, and existed, but i felt there was more than just existence..
there are many people out there men, women, married to the opposite, or same gender, living just that life... an existence..
im lucky, you are lucky as well.. be true to yourself i say. and i am certain it will happen again.. for me, for you..
theres a lot of crap out there, thats for sure.. just need the patience to be able to sort out the good ones from the not so good ones..
its not easy.. im not giving up.
good luck to you, as well as all the guys in the same situation. it all works out.
im single now for 3 years after a 15 year relationship...i could have stayed in that realtionship, and existed, but i felt there was more than just existence..
there are many people out there men, women, married to the opposite, or same gender, living just that life... an existence..
im lucky, you are lucky as well.. be true to yourself i say. and i am certain it will happen again.. for me, for you..
theres a lot of crap out there, thats for sure.. just need the patience to be able to sort out the good ones from the not so good ones..
its not easy.. im not giving up.
good luck to you, as well as all the guys in the same situation. it all works out.
speed_queen75
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Dont give up, be patient, BLA BLA BLA
I have heard it all before, over and over again, and my response to that is "i wish you could live my life for one week", only then will they see what i am talking about, i will always have that hope. But then again, there have been others that have had the same hope as me, and are still either looking or single. Let's face it it not easy being gay, you don't get courted like straight girls or guys do, you can't just approach some random guy and tell him you think he's hot and ask him out, it just don't work that way for us gay's. We are forced to use other non traditional methods of meeting guys, and quite frankly, i have tried all of them to no avail. I am not trying to be or think negative, but i am being realistic...
I have heard it all before, over and over again, and my response to that is "i wish you could live my life for one week", only then will they see what i am talking about, i will always have that hope. But then again, there have been others that have had the same hope as me, and are still either looking or single. Let's face it it not easy being gay, you don't get courted like straight girls or guys do, you can't just approach some random guy and tell him you think he's hot and ask him out, it just don't work that way for us gay's. We are forced to use other non traditional methods of meeting guys, and quite frankly, i have tried all of them to no avail. I am not trying to be or think negative, but i am being realistic...
toggleswitch2
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Negative thoughts bring about negative actions and reactions.
Positive thoughts bring about positive actions and reactions.
True right here on Earth. True-er even in the after-life when the soul leaves the body. So start weeding your gardens now, because once the bad stuff takes root it multiplies rapidly.
Everyone is EXACTLY where they want to be in life, or they would change it.
Positive thoughts bring about positive actions and reactions.
True right here on Earth. True-er even in the after-life when the soul leaves the body. So start weeding your gardens now, because once the bad stuff takes root it multiplies rapidly.
Everyone is EXACTLY where they want to be in life, or they would change it.
toggleswitch2
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~Let's face it it not easy being gay.
Yup it's not for sissies. G-d gives one only as much as they can handle.
~you don't get courted like straight girls or guys do
"Make it happen Number One" If they won't do it to/for you, do it to THEM.
~you can't just approach some random guy and tell him you think he's hot and ask him out; it just don't work that way for us gays.
Depends where you are. In some places and situations one can certainly say "Let's go to Hawaii. There is a city called kumon-I-wannalayya" and we need to go there.
~We are forced to use other non-traditional methods of meeting guys, and quite frankly, I have tried all of them to no avail.
If you think Mister and Miss missionary don't use the web, chat rooms, public places etc, think again.
~I am not trying to be or think negative, but I am being realistic...
Anyone's way of thinking can be improved, they just have to WANT to...............
Marriages and partnerships are a great deal of work. Cinderella love-stories are basically a myth for the greater part of the population. It's a cl*t-stroking trap. Don't buy it.
NO ONE (else) CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY IN LIFE. THAT IS YOUR JOB.
Bad marriages/partnership can wipe a person out mentally finacially spiritually and in the (horrid) extreme physically. They are not a panacea.
Chin up. Better days are coming.
Yup it's not for sissies. G-d gives one only as much as they can handle.
~you don't get courted like straight girls or guys do
"Make it happen Number One" If they won't do it to/for you, do it to THEM.
~you can't just approach some random guy and tell him you think he's hot and ask him out; it just don't work that way for us gays.
Depends where you are. In some places and situations one can certainly say "Let's go to Hawaii. There is a city called kumon-I-wannalayya" and we need to go there.
~We are forced to use other non-traditional methods of meeting guys, and quite frankly, I have tried all of them to no avail.
If you think Mister and Miss missionary don't use the web, chat rooms, public places etc, think again.
~I am not trying to be or think negative, but I am being realistic...
Anyone's way of thinking can be improved, they just have to WANT to...............
Marriages and partnerships are a great deal of work. Cinderella love-stories are basically a myth for the greater part of the population. It's a cl*t-stroking trap. Don't buy it.
NO ONE (else) CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY IN LIFE. THAT IS YOUR JOB.
Bad marriages/partnership can wipe a person out mentally finacially spiritually and in the (horrid) extreme physically. They are not a panacea.
Chin up. Better days are coming.
michaelman2
Well-known member
Toggle,
I have to say that when I read your very well written last thread, you articulated exactly what I have felt for a while but never was able to articulate it. Most specifically the sentence below really struck a chord......it really is a very true statement and for me really makes a difference
"you don't get courted like straight girls or guys do"
I have to say that when I read your very well written last thread, you articulated exactly what I have felt for a while but never was able to articulate it. Most specifically the sentence below really struck a chord......it really is a very true statement and for me really makes a difference
"you don't get courted like straight girls or guys do"
toggleswitch2
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*LOL* Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
Ethnic saying:
Life is like a cucumber. Some people eat it and are refreshed, others get gas and stomach cramps. Your choice.
....and they say we CHOOSE this lifestyle! (it chooses us!)
HA HA HA HA !
I like American toggleswtiches UP means turned-on!
(Ducks and runs)
Ethnic saying:
Life is like a cucumber. Some people eat it and are refreshed, others get gas and stomach cramps. Your choice.
....and they say we CHOOSE this lifestyle! (it chooses us!)
HA HA HA HA !
I like American toggleswtiches UP means turned-on!
(Ducks and runs)
oldhouseman
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I believe
some people simply are not cut out for long term relationships or marriage. I have a friend that is about 40 and "meets Mr. Right" about every six months. It lasts about three or four months then he is back in the bars looking again. He needs Mr. Right-Now, not Mr. Right. He is drop dead handsome, very masculine and a great guy. But he does not have relationship skills.
Anybody here who has been in a long term marriage or relationship can tell you it takes work. There are good times and bad. Sometimes there are long term problems, health issues, jobs (what do you mean you're getting transferred?) and then the sexual side of it all. That alone is a whole issue by itself.
And there are good times, memories that build and bring you happiness when you think back on them. The family you build together, home and hearth. As time passes and you settle down its amazing to realize one day the number of years that have gone by.
This is life, the one you get and it will be what you make of it. Choose wisely what steps you take.
We have had 17 years togeather and I hope to have many more. But if something happened to my partner or for some reason we split I would just get on with life and not worry about being coupled. I am very independent and self sufficient. I can be happy on my on and have a very full life. And because I can be happy alone that tells me how much I value having another person to share life with.
I think when you can learn to be comfortable alone you have then built the skills to share your life with others. And yes, I am fully aware the area you live in can have an affect on meeting people but if that's the case perhaps a move is in order. Just make sure a geographic cure is not an excuse first.
some people simply are not cut out for long term relationships or marriage. I have a friend that is about 40 and "meets Mr. Right" about every six months. It lasts about three or four months then he is back in the bars looking again. He needs Mr. Right-Now, not Mr. Right. He is drop dead handsome, very masculine and a great guy. But he does not have relationship skills.
Anybody here who has been in a long term marriage or relationship can tell you it takes work. There are good times and bad. Sometimes there are long term problems, health issues, jobs (what do you mean you're getting transferred?) and then the sexual side of it all. That alone is a whole issue by itself.
And there are good times, memories that build and bring you happiness when you think back on them. The family you build together, home and hearth. As time passes and you settle down its amazing to realize one day the number of years that have gone by.
This is life, the one you get and it will be what you make of it. Choose wisely what steps you take.
We have had 17 years togeather and I hope to have many more. But if something happened to my partner or for some reason we split I would just get on with life and not worry about being coupled. I am very independent and self sufficient. I can be happy on my on and have a very full life. And because I can be happy alone that tells me how much I value having another person to share life with.
I think when you can learn to be comfortable alone you have then built the skills to share your life with others. And yes, I am fully aware the area you live in can have an affect on meeting people but if that's the case perhaps a move is in order. Just make sure a geographic cure is not an excuse first.
"Everyone is EXACTLY where they want to be in life, or they would change it. "
"Just make sure a geographic cure is not an excuse first."
Well for some, circumstances cause us to stay where it isn't very advantageous. As I have said before, around here, they're already coupled, are only sluts who want Mr. Right Now, or are very low-key, visible. And pickins are slim. And many prefer to go to Austin. For me, I have no choice because I have to have health insurance for retiring and have to build on my years with who I work for to achieve that. Otherwise, it would be financial suicide and devastation because of everything medically I need attention for. It becomes very difficult for me at times, plus the physical mobility issues I have.
"Just make sure a geographic cure is not an excuse first."
Well for some, circumstances cause us to stay where it isn't very advantageous. As I have said before, around here, they're already coupled, are only sluts who want Mr. Right Now, or are very low-key, visible. And pickins are slim. And many prefer to go to Austin. For me, I have no choice because I have to have health insurance for retiring and have to build on my years with who I work for to achieve that. Otherwise, it would be financial suicide and devastation because of everything medically I need attention for. It becomes very difficult for me at times, plus the physical mobility issues I have.
toggleswitch2
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I don't mean physical location.
MENTALLY and situation-wise.
MENTALLY and situation-wise.
filter-flo_rob
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Oldhouseman's posting.
geez ... do I hear you on just about every aspect you pointed out, and couldn't have said it better! 22 years for us ...
Delmer, don't give up. Usually things happen when you least expect it!
Rob.
geez ... do I hear you on just about every aspect you pointed out, and couldn't have said it better! 22 years for us ...
Delmer, don't give up. Usually things happen when you least expect it!
Rob.
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