Where are the nice men at in this area?

[Unimatic1140]

Let's face it it not easy being gay,
Growing up gay can be difficult, but once you become an adult things change for the better and only you then are in charged of making your own happiness.

you don't get courted like straight girls or guys do, you can't just approach some random guy and tell him you think he's hot and ask him out, it just don't work that way for us gay's.
Huh? Whatever, says who? I've done that many times and have had it done to me, not to mention I see my friends do it all the time. Granted I've only lived in New York City and Minneapolis my entire adult life where it’s more of the norm due to the large gay populations here, but to make such a blanket statement like this is presenting a falsehood, especially to some of our younger readers.

It sounds to me like you need to make some serious changes in your life before you will ever be able to share you life with another person. You’re pretty young yet Speed_Queen75 and have your whole life ahead of you, maybe its time start thinking about how to make some of these changes both in your physical location and emotionally. Its going to take some time, patience and a lot of work, but it will be worth it.

 

[sdlee]

well it sounds shallow....

but I wish this was a picture thread. Why? Because some us more lonely types might be attracted to some of these other more lonley types.
Someone mentioned circles well heres a great big one right in front of us called AW.
Im sure robert dosent want to start or manage a dating site but there are a few of you here who are alone and hot, you just dont know it.Moreover there are a bunch of you who know each other so well you refer to each other by first names and not screen names, that is irritating as all hell to the rest of us trying to keep track of who is who.Not to mention who is single or not.

To all you people who are so happily permanantly together congradulations!! Its good to hear from you and were happy for you BUT if you havent been in this market for 20 years..........well enough said.

Well thats my piece, no meaning to hurt or offend.....Im just saying consideration men, its not just for breakfast anymore.

 

[oldhouseman]

Well then

post one sdlee.

 

[~sudsshane]

Greg~

I loved your post!

I think your outlook on life and relationships show what a well-balanced person you are. Good for you!

sdlee- I don't believe Robert would mind if you posted a pic. I am sure it would bring him alot of happiness if he knew his website brought people together. There are quite a few people on here who met partners or spouses,or even life long friends!

That is one of the many great benefits of being a member of this club.. so, I say indulge!

 

[Hometechdoc]

Love and Sex

I think where a lot of problems occur in gay men and their happiness lies in their inability or unwilling to accept alternatives to what we have been taught as traditional monogomous heterosexual relationships.

I have been in relationships most of my adult life, surprisingly since I have relocated several times for education or career and I would not consider myself "good lookin" - average at best, but I will put myself out there and have always been open to a wide variety of men.

With this said, I was never really happy and secure in a relationship until I cam to grips with the fact that there is a difference between love and sex. Havig a therapist partner really helped with this. Being open and honest about these issues have really helped us maintian our relationship of eleven years.

My advice, pursue what you love and your passion and enthusiasm will be attractive to others. I met my last two partners through my career and they came onto me because I had something that they found attractive and it was not me physically.

Also, don't give up on approaching random men, if donce correctly the outcome can be fun and entertaining. Not to digress too much, but straight men and married men are not always off the table either!!!!

and here goes the pic

 

[Hometechdoc]

actually that looked weird for some reason

I am a little beefier now. I have been working out pretty regularly.

 

[filter-flo_rob]

Love and sex.

Allen,

You don't consider yourself good looking, but average? How, as a description, would the word HOT fit 'cha ... heh heh heh.

You brought up some very interesting points regarding love and sex. It is true, there IS a difference, but if someone told me that, and not had a long term relationship, I would not comprehend what they were referring to.

Thanks for being the first to post.

Rob.

 

[filter-flo_rob]

Pix posting.

Posted a few of myself on the Hide or not to Hide thread; mid August, I believe.

Rob.

 

[sdlee]

okay guys.....

Sudshane ....wellll ok since you asked SOOO eloquently .....

Oldhouseman 17 years and you still wanna look? Hmmmm, so much for the song For Your eyes only..

Sry to rest of you , Barf bag not included (refering to my face)lol

 

[speed_queen75]

I really appreciate

All the great advice and, opinions, however most of them that make the issue out to be mine and mine alone usually either have a partner or are in the process of settling down, my granny always said, "A rich man can never feel the needs of a poor man" likewise, someone who is in a relationship and is happy cannot comprehend the ones that are not, and the emotional "roller coaster" you go through.
I am a very happy person, if you ever met me in person you would see for your self, all my girlfriends can't understand why i am single will all my great qualities i have, and things i have to offer, granted i know i live in a shithole, but financially i cant just "up and move", just so i cam meet some one, i would love to share my happy and bubbly personality with a guy and i know in time it will all happen, i would just hate to think i was not chosen to be blessed with enjoying a partner at a young age like some of my friends have been, and still waiting around in my 40's for it to come along.
I will have to disagree with some saying " only you can make it happen" well give me a 45mm Beretta and i will LOL, that was a joke y'll.....

 

[speed_queen75]

Ok since we ae now posting pics

here is one of me. LOL

 

[oldhouseman]

No, sdlee

not looking here. Happy where I am. Just encouraging you to post a pic if you wanted. I have my partner, my dogs, home and gardens, hobbies and a person with whom I share a special bond of close friendship. Life is good.

 

[rp2813]

Allen, great post on love & sex. It's excellent when the two combine for a torrid physical episode but even between partnered men you don't get that combination much of the time--at least not after 23 years together. Sometimes sex is just having fun or helping one or the other or both to fall asleep a little easier. I think it's way more of a female thing to always require emotional presence during sex.

Much as I'd like to emulate Robert and show interest in random attractive men out & about, I have to be fairly sure they're approachable before I would. It's not that difficult to assess. If they're looking back, they're usually doing it for a reason.

At work several months ago a guy caught my eye in the cafeteria, and apparently vice versa. We exchanged hellos for a while, then small talk as we'd pass each other, then one day he waited for me outside after lunch, we talked, I fed him the right lines and he shot right back with all the right replies and we were instant gay buddies making lunch dates.

Then I got laid off. But we still stay in touch and he, my partner and I have met for lunch since. He's single but I'm not. If I were, things may have gone a lot further with us and rather quickly, as we share some key mutual interests. This guy is 35 and I'm 53. There's no reason men over 40 or 50 should think other men--and younger ones at that--aren't interested in them. And to bring things full circle re: sex and/or love, this guy is a candidate for a sleep-over that's all about fun for me him AND my partner. Keeping things interesting and changing it up once in a while is what keeps our physical relationship active, and it has everything to do with acknowledging and embracing the male instinct instead of suppressing it. This is where gay male relationships differ from straight ones. There are a lot of frustrated and bored married "straight" men out there suppressing their instinct at home. Just check craig's list if you think otherwise.

 

[appnut]

Omaha 2005

 

[foraloysius]

8-23-2008

 

[appnut]

Luigi, you get better looking as the years go by that's for sure!!!

 

[dynaflow]

Found mine

Guys,
met my hubby on silverdaddies almost a yr and a half ago.
we couldnt be happier, even though it is a long distance relationship, going to Myrtle beach next month for his 50th. When i met him wasnt looking at all, but low and behold it happened. Wonderful kind caring man 1/2 mexican 1/2 italian sexy good looking and understands my old applainces and vacuums never complains

 

[jamman_98]

Nice guy here

Single (7 years now)
46
Bear (Southern Gentleman)
5'9"
175
Yes there are nice guys out there but we tend to finish last.
Murphy's Law "The person you are attracted to is always on the opposite side of the country from you"
Joe
jamman_98

 

[vacuumfreeeke]

You know I'm not even sure I want to find a husband anymore! When I was younger I thought that finding a husband would be my "reward" for all the shit I've been through for being gay. Now I almost like being alone. At times other people *really* annoy me and I do not want to invest the energy it takes to do the "get to know you" process all over again. Sometimes I think if I just have my cat and my vacuums, and some friends I'll be fine. I can masturbate for sex, then I can do it right and be selfish and just go to sleep afterwards!

 

[toploader55]

Well Guys,

One time when I was in a (what I thought) was going to be a forever and ever, it ended. I went to work the next day and this Fabulous Older Woman said to me : "Eddie what's wrong ? You don't look happy like you always are. " So I told her I was seeing someone and it ended. She said : "I've been married to Jim for 51 years. And let me tell you...Sometimes it better to be alone than wish you were alone." End of story.

 

[whitekingd]

Yeah, but if you have always been alone, it would be nice to have someone to come home to. "You'd be sooooo, nice, to come home to. You'd be soooo, nice, by the fire." I am heavy set, and not a catch by any means by our gay community. I have been out, lots!!! I guess I can come to terms with being fat, but attractive, but also being alone. At least I have my PUSSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (she's seventeen now)

 

[kenmorekid]

Pics

Well I thought I would post a pic of me as well. Here ya go...Its me and my nephew coloring easter eggs at my moms ) It took me a while to find a decent guy. We have been together for a little over 2 years now and it seems that when you find someone, a few months into the relationship you find others so its eather none or many...Although most are just up for one thing...Mike doesnt play that game...

 

[rp2813]

It all depends on what sector of the gay community you circulate in. Being on the hefty side doesn't mean you're not a catch in the eyes of every gay man. I prefer my men on the beefy (note that I did not say "muscley") side and I have plenty of company that shares my preference.

 

[autowasherfreak]

What the Heck

I will ad my pic to this post as well. Don't be scared. LOL.

 

[autowasherfreak]

Pics

I must say we have some very handsome men on here! Kenmorekid you have one beautiful smile!

 

[appnut]

Well Delmer, you got my curiousity definitely for sure!! I think a picture is in order.

 

[kenmorekid]

Smile )

THANKS auto. I tend to get that a lot. I guess I have my dentist to thank for that!!

 

[irishwashguy]

Northwest dating

Well, it is a matter of perception. It is true that people in this part of the country are more passive agressive,, that makes it more tough to muddle through the crap, I like the dirrect aproach. The last time that I fell in love, it was totally unexpected, and a total suprise. Boy was I not expecting it. He was a Floridan that was from upstate New York. I Love the accent, so sexy! . I would say not to give up..There are so many neat guys that I have met in Seattle, especially West Seattle, Woof! Woof! As I am finishing what I am doing, a Mr Right will find me, like he will find you.

 

[super32]

Ok, so i have been on both sides of the fence. I was in 2 LTR's. 9yrs the first time and 8yrs the second time. There was no downtime between the 2. This is the first time in my life i have lived alone. In the begining it was bitter/sweet. For 17 yrs i always had some one to come home to. Now i come home to an empty house. I have learned that being alone is not all bad. I have a decent job, a few friends, and living in the chicagoland area there is always something to do. I realized i can take care of myself. I do date people, but have not found anyone worth calling "the 1". Most men are only interested in sex. Then they are on to their next conquest. Most of them run from me when i tell them not to even think they are going to get in my pants. I still talk to my last partner. We are still good friends, some people still think we will wind up back together but we dont think so. Unfortunatly most people will have to kiss alot of frogs before they get a prince.

Anyways here is another pix of me. I just recently took a few new pix. I figure i need to make myself visable if im going to meet anyone.

 

[whitekingd]

I HAVE fallen in love a few years ago. He was the guy that I dreamed of, literally, for 15 years or so. Looked like the guy, acted like the guy, and everything was perfect. Except, he doesn't feel the same for me. It is so hard to deal with, but what can you do? I put myself out there, at the bars and so forth. But I have only been asked on one date in my life. That went nowhere. I have done really well alone for most of my life, but sometimes it really gets old. I want someone to cook for, clean for, and to take good care of. Of course, I excpect some of that in return as well. I just want someone to look beyond the weight, and see the real me. I will try to get a picture up, as requested, but, again, I am not very savy on computers. Thanks to everyone for the input and suggestions. It has been great reading the responses!! Love you guys!