Where are the nice men at in this area?

[speed_queen75]

Dont give up, be patient, BLA BLA BLA

I have heard it all before, over and over again, and my response to that is "i wish you could live my life for one week", only then will they see what i am talking about, i will always have that hope. But then again, there have been others that have had the same hope as me, and are still either looking or single. Let's face it it not easy being gay, you don't get courted like straight girls or guys do, you can't just approach some random guy and tell him you think he's hot and ask him out, it just don't work that way for us gay's. We are forced to use other non traditional methods of meeting guys, and quite frankly, i have tried all of them to no avail. I am not trying to be or think negative, but i am being realistic...

 

[jeffg]

> you can't just approach some random guy and tell him you think he's hot and ask him out, it just don't work that way for us gay's <

Maybe not in Clevelend TN. But in Atlanta...

 

[toggleswitch2]

Negative thoughts bring about negative actions and reactions.
Positive thoughts bring about positive actions and reactions.

True right here on Earth. True-er even in the after-life when the soul leaves the body. So start weeding your gardens now, because once the bad stuff takes root it multiplies rapidly.

Everyone is EXACTLY where they want to be in life, or they would change it.

 

[toggleswitch2]

~Let's face it it not easy being gay.
Yup it's not for sissies. G-d gives one only as much as they can handle.

~you don't get courted like straight girls or guys do
"Make it happen Number One" If they won't do it to/for you, do it to THEM.

~you can't just approach some random guy and tell him you think he's hot and ask him out; it just don't work that way for us gays.
Depends where you are. In some places and situations one can certainly say "Let's go to Hawaii. There is a city called kumon-I-wannalayya" and we need to go there.

~We are forced to use other non-traditional methods of meeting guys, and quite frankly, I have tried all of them to no avail.
If you think Mister and Miss missionary don't use the web, chat rooms, public places etc, think again.

~I am not trying to be or think negative, but I am being realistic...
Anyone's way of thinking can be improved, they just have to WANT to...............

Marriages and partnerships are a great deal of work. Cinderella love-stories are basically a myth for the greater part of the population. It's a cl*t-stroking trap. Don't buy it.

NO ONE (else) CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY IN LIFE. THAT IS YOUR JOB.

Bad marriages/partnership can wipe a person out mentally finacially spiritually and in the (horrid) extreme physically. They are not a panacea.

Chin up. Better days are coming.

 

[michaelman2]

Toggle,
I have to say that when I read your very well written last thread, you articulated exactly what I have felt for a while but never was able to articulate it. Most specifically the sentence below really struck a chord......it really is a very true statement and for me really makes a difference

"you don't get courted like straight girls or guys do"

 

[toggleswitch2]

*LOL* Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

Ethnic saying:
Life is like a cucumber. Some people eat it and are refreshed, others get gas and stomach cramps. Your choice.

....and they say we CHOOSE this lifestyle! (it chooses us!)
HA HA HA HA !

I like American toggleswtiches UP means turned-on!
(Ducks and runs)

 

[oldhouseman]

I believe

some people simply are not cut out for long term relationships or marriage. I have a friend that is about 40 and "meets Mr. Right" about every six months. It lasts about three or four months then he is back in the bars looking again. He needs Mr. Right-Now, not Mr. Right. He is drop dead handsome, very masculine and a great guy. But he does not have relationship skills.

Anybody here who has been in a long term marriage or relationship can tell you it takes work. There are good times and bad. Sometimes there are long term problems, health issues, jobs (what do you mean you're getting transferred?) and then the sexual side of it all. That alone is a whole issue by itself.

And there are good times, memories that build and bring you happiness when you think back on them. The family you build together, home and hearth. As time passes and you settle down its amazing to realize one day the number of years that have gone by.

This is life, the one you get and it will be what you make of it. Choose wisely what steps you take.

We have had 17 years togeather and I hope to have many more. But if something happened to my partner or for some reason we split I would just get on with life and not worry about being coupled. I am very independent and self sufficient. I can be happy on my on and have a very full life. And because I can be happy alone that tells me how much I value having another person to share life with.

I think when you can learn to be comfortable alone you have then built the skills to share your life with others. And yes, I am fully aware the area you live in can have an affect on meeting people but if that's the case perhaps a move is in order. Just make sure a geographic cure is not an excuse first.

 

[appnut]

"Everyone is EXACTLY where they want to be in life, or they would change it. "

"Just make sure a geographic cure is not an excuse first."

Well for some, circumstances cause us to stay where it isn't very advantageous. As I have said before, around here, they're already coupled, are only sluts who want Mr. Right Now, or are very low-key, visible. And pickins are slim. And many prefer to go to Austin. For me, I have no choice because I have to have health insurance for retiring and have to build on my years with who I work for to achieve that. Otherwise, it would be financial suicide and devastation because of everything medically I need attention for. It becomes very difficult for me at times, plus the physical mobility issues I have.

 

[toggleswitch2]

I don't mean physical location.

MENTALLY and situation-wise.

 

[filter-flo_rob]

Oldhouseman's posting.

geez ... do I hear you on just about every aspect you pointed out, and couldn't have said it better! 22 years for us ...

Delmer, don't give up. Usually things happen when you least expect it!

Rob.

 

[Unimatic1140]

Let's face it it not easy being gay,
Growing up gay can be difficult, but once you become an adult things change for the better and only you then are in charged of making your own happiness.

you don't get courted like straight girls or guys do, you can't just approach some random guy and tell him you think he's hot and ask him out, it just don't work that way for us gay's.
Huh? Whatever, says who? I've done that many times and have had it done to me, not to mention I see my friends do it all the time. Granted I've only lived in New York City and Minneapolis my entire adult life where it’s more of the norm due to the large gay populations here, but to make such a blanket statement like this is presenting a falsehood, especially to some of our younger readers.

It sounds to me like you need to make some serious changes in your life before you will ever be able to share you life with another person. You’re pretty young yet Speed_Queen75 and have your whole life ahead of you, maybe its time start thinking about how to make some of these changes both in your physical location and emotionally. Its going to take some time, patience and a lot of work, but it will be worth it.

 

[sdlee]

well it sounds shallow....

but I wish this was a picture thread. Why? Because some us more lonely types might be attracted to some of these other more lonley types.
Someone mentioned circles well heres a great big one right in front of us called AW.
Im sure robert dosent want to start or manage a dating site but there are a few of you here who are alone and hot, you just dont know it.Moreover there are a bunch of you who know each other so well you refer to each other by first names and not screen names, that is irritating as all hell to the rest of us trying to keep track of who is who.Not to mention who is single or not.

To all you people who are so happily permanantly together congradulations!! Its good to hear from you and were happy for you BUT if you havent been in this market for 20 years..........well enough said.

Well thats my piece, no meaning to hurt or offend.....Im just saying consideration men, its not just for breakfast anymore.

 

[oldhouseman]

Well then

post one sdlee.

 

[~sudsshane]

Greg~

I loved your post!

I think your outlook on life and relationships show what a well-balanced person you are. Good for you!

sdlee- I don't believe Robert would mind if you posted a pic. I am sure it would bring him alot of happiness if he knew his website brought people together. There are quite a few people on here who met partners or spouses,or even life long friends!

That is one of the many great benefits of being a member of this club.. so, I say indulge!

 

[Hometechdoc]

Love and Sex

I think where a lot of problems occur in gay men and their happiness lies in their inability or unwilling to accept alternatives to what we have been taught as traditional monogomous heterosexual relationships.

I have been in relationships most of my adult life, surprisingly since I have relocated several times for education or career and I would not consider myself "good lookin" - average at best, but I will put myself out there and have always been open to a wide variety of men.

With this said, I was never really happy and secure in a relationship until I cam to grips with the fact that there is a difference between love and sex. Havig a therapist partner really helped with this. Being open and honest about these issues have really helped us maintian our relationship of eleven years.

My advice, pursue what you love and your passion and enthusiasm will be attractive to others. I met my last two partners through my career and they came onto me because I had something that they found attractive and it was not me physically.

Also, don't give up on approaching random men, if donce correctly the outcome can be fun and entertaining. Not to digress too much, but straight men and married men are not always off the table either!!!!

and here goes the pic

 

[Hometechdoc]

actually that looked weird for some reason

I am a little beefier now. I have been working out pretty regularly.

 

[filter-flo_rob]

Love and sex.

Allen,

You don't consider yourself good looking, but average? How, as a description, would the word HOT fit 'cha ... heh heh heh.

You brought up some very interesting points regarding love and sex. It is true, there IS a difference, but if someone told me that, and not had a long term relationship, I would not comprehend what they were referring to.

Thanks for being the first to post.

Rob.

 

[filter-flo_rob]

Pix posting.

Posted a few of myself on the Hide or not to Hide thread; mid August, I believe.

Rob.

 

[sdlee]

okay guys.....

Sudshane ....wellll ok since you asked SOOO eloquently .....

Oldhouseman 17 years and you still wanna look? Hmmmm, so much for the song For Your eyes only..

Sry to rest of you , Barf bag not included (refering to my face)lol

 

[speed_queen75]

I really appreciate

All the great advice and, opinions, however most of them that make the issue out to be mine and mine alone usually either have a partner or are in the process of settling down, my granny always said, "A rich man can never feel the needs of a poor man" likewise, someone who is in a relationship and is happy cannot comprehend the ones that are not, and the emotional "roller coaster" you go through.
I am a very happy person, if you ever met me in person you would see for your self, all my girlfriends can't understand why i am single will all my great qualities i have, and things i have to offer, granted i know i live in a shithole, but financially i cant just "up and move", just so i cam meet some one, i would love to share my happy and bubbly personality with a guy and i know in time it will all happen, i would just hate to think i was not chosen to be blessed with enjoying a partner at a young age like some of my friends have been, and still waiting around in my 40's for it to come along.
I will have to disagree with some saying " only you can make it happen" well give me a 45mm Beretta and i will LOL, that was a joke y'll.....