10/11/05 is National Coming Out Day....

[toggleswitch]

Who has been carrying around a secret burden and needs to spill their guts......?

Also, Who has the most interesting story about being involuntarily outed?

And remeber how it goes, when you get caught with your pants arounf your ankles doing somehting naughty, ALWAYS say......"But, but, but it was my first time...." LOL

http://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Coming_Out

 

[spiralactivator]

Odd that it's in November and not in June...

My last semester in college I was interning at the campus GLBTQ center. I was also living in a house with a total right-winger, to whom I had to explain what GLBTQ stood for. IMMEDIATELY the atmosphere changed. I was about to go to bed when I heard him scream my name. He was standing at the foot of the stairs, shuffling his feet and (literally) muttering, "Uh, how do I ask...uh..." Finally he said, "Is your decision...on where to do your internship...based on any...previous decision?" I knew what he was driving at, but I wasn't gonna make it easy for him. After a few more minutes of shuffling and muttering, "How do I ask, how do I ask...," he finally blurted, "DOES THE DOOR SWING STRAIGHT?" I refused to answer and went to bed.

On another occasion my mom, my brother, my aunt, and I were having lunch with an old woman (relative of a relative). When Oldie Hawn heard where I was going to college, she said, "Oh. Do you know many GAAAAAYS?" Mom almost fell off her chair. "So-and-so's son went to that school and he turned out gay," Oldie said. And in a confidential whisper, "We think that's what did it."

 

[toggleswitch]

For example. Example when my mother forced it out of me...

We were on the couch in the den, she took my head into her lap and stroked my hair and we both had a good cry.

She said out loud (with such hope) "oh, it's a phase".
When I replied "I don't really think so". In the span of about half an hour she became bitter and nasty and said "well the good thing is, now that you have decided to throw your life away, at least you don't have to go to college and you can become a hair-dresser like the rest of THEM.

I got up and silently left the room, and shot a dirty glance across the room that could have bent steel.

Funny thing, total silent treatment for about 9 months (me to her) kinda got the point across.

IRONIC TIDBIT: I had left home, I put myself through school full-time, while working full-time, and was in a committed long-term realtionship by the time I was 19 y.o.
(my sisters, tuition paid, cars handed to them, living at home, dropped out--"stress")

Sing it, girls:

I AM STORNG,
I AM INVINCIPlE
I AM W......
HEAR ME ROAR

Just wait till my relationship surpasses the duration of dear old mom's marriage. (A marriage is "Real" ya know what is THAT?)OOOOOhhhhh child. Pity the fool.

 

[Versatronic]

OK

So are you a hairdresser?

 

[hoover1060]

I was 28...

My dad was cool, mom was another matter.. I don't think she fully understood the whole thing...
She frowned on every girl I dated in my teens and early 20's...

So out I came at 28.
Time passed, and a few years later when I was in college in Nebraska my parents came to visit. Somehow during that visit the subject came up again and her response was "I thought you outgrew that"
I'm 41 now, have a good relationship with my parents. I've also learned it doesen't matter if its male or female I am with, its all about control, and how much mom percieves she might or might not have.

I can also say I would never change anything, I like the person I am, and maybe the only regret I have is I didn't come out earlier.
Such is life...

 

[toggleswitch]

Hairdresser? MOI?
Do you trust me near your ears (or lower) with scissors? Don't yet have training as a moyel.

Actually, I was an accountant for 20 years, and am now a commercial real-estate appraiser. Show me what ya got baby, and I'll tell ya how it compares to the others and what others are willing to pay for it.

SERIOUS ADVICE:
Come out to yourself as soon as possible.
SHUT your face to all others. Things change, people change, circumstances change and there are all categories between Kinsey's 0 and 6. Don't lock yourself into a category.

Nothing is forever but the earth and sky. Dust in the wind.....

Research

Description of Kinsey Institute research areas

www.kinseyinstitute.org

 

[toggleswitch]

I had a link that I was ready to post with some results of the Kinsey studies, but it was a bit much.

From the above link you can figure out how to dig and search and drill-down to find the results of some studies on a number of topics.

 

[toggleswitch]

Fascinaitng to me is that there is NO ONE on Kinsey's scale who is a perfect "Zero" (more like a 0.5), yet there are full "6s".

Each number, BTW is also a range

HHHHMMMMMMMMM

 

[Versatronic]

OK, I took the test on that site

I'm a butch lesbian trapped inside a man's body.

 

[toggleswitch]

Lez is more.

LOL ROLF LMAO

Still doesn't explaint the style, flair and creativity gene.....

Well at least a L probably doesn't concern herself with the variety of pipes avaialable. Not to mention conduits. (say... Oil vs. electrical) LOL

So I guess I can't diasagree...

 

[westyslantfront]

When I was young, my parents gave me a toy washing machine and a toy dishwasher instead of basketball or football. They knew early on which direction I was headed. So at age 22 (I am now almost 54), when I "officially" came out, it came as no great surprise to either of my parents.
When all the boys were playing basketball and football, I was hanging out in the laundry room watching the Apex bounce-o-matics. On her way to the supermarket, my Mom would leave me at the laundromat while she shopped and picked me up on the way home.

 

[chachp]

National Coming out Day

The first article mentions Rob Eichberg as one of the founders of the idea. Rob started a workshop (also very briefly mentioned) called The Experience. Did anyone here ever attend that workshop?

Back in those days I was living in Chicago and was the local area director of The Experience for a year. It was really something as was Rob. When he passed, we lost a very powerful individual. I'd love to chat with any Experience grads out there! Any Intensive grads?

 

[Designgeek]

All my friends & coworkers know and always have. No point hiding anything from them since we see each other all the time and it's no big deal for any of 'em.

I never told my dad because I was afraid the news would give him a(nother) heart attack. A couple years ago, my brother & I conspired to break the news to my mom gently just in case. Her reaction? "Oh, we knew..." Nothing changed. But I don't think my parents actually knew. Maybe suspected.

Anyway, it was 100% wonderful to get that issue taken care of, should have done it much earlier like in college. Having to cover up is basically the same as a great big lie, which is not only an ethical burden but a practical hassle as well (how many of us have almost slipped with a gender pronoun?.

I've been single for the past 7 - 8 years... monogamously oriented... GenX... geek lifestyle... Oakland CA area... (hmm!)

 

[chachp]

I told my parents when I was 35 and my Dad's response was - Did you think we just came over on the boat? They knew all along they were just waiting for me. As so many others have said when my Dad wanted me to go outside and do sports stuff I was more interested in playing with my sisters toy appliances or the real ones in my Mom's kitchen. I wish I would have told them sooner, but I did what I did and that's all there is. )

 

[jamman_98]

I hear ya

I came out at 35 myself. My parents knew and they were ok with it. I did the same things. I had toy washers, helped my mom wash clothes and clean house. My dad did things with me too. My parents were wonderful to me growing up. The hard part now is watching my mother slowy go to Alzehimers at 83 in a nursing home. My dad crys now - never seen him do that before.
As far as the hairdresser is concerned - bald is beautiful baby ;-)

Joe
jamman_98

 

[foraloysius]

I came out when I was 23. My mother had expected it, my father had never thought that a son of him could be gay, but he accepted it. A few times my mother has called before I went on holiday, just to ask if I had rubbers in my suitcase...

Hairdresser? I have a tremor...

 

[Bryan71]

Coming Out

I always knew that I was gay from the age of 12 but did not come out until I was about 26. My mother said she had known for 2 years and had accepted it as well as my father. My one sibling has no problems with it as well. I have a wonderful family that does not judge in anyway, form, or fashion. Like several mentioned before I loved helping my mother do laundry, etc. She had a few GE Filter-Flos when I was growing up and still can remember that rhythmic wash action these washers had.

 

[Washinsheen]

My parents are a mess. While growing up, I was in my sister's room all the time, playing Barbies with her. Didn't like sports. Crazy about washing machines. Always called a "sissy" at school (among other things!) Only a boulder wouldn't have suspected I was gay!! When I came out to them at 28 because I was moving in with my boyfriend, they thought it was just a sinful phase (major Church of Christ people!) Fast forward 15 years to the present...They still refuse to meet my partner. Everyone else in the family either has no problem with my being gay, or they don't like it but consider it none of their business. I got fed up with the parents about 4 years ago when I sent them a Christmas gift with a card signed by both my partner and me.....They sent it back, saying that they could not accept a gift from "the two of us," because it would be seen as condoning our relationship. Up to that point, I'd gone on a trip here or there to visit them at their home....w/o my partner, but I decided that this was the last straw. Neither side was getting anywhere (ie, them hoping that I'd "come back to the Lord" and me hoping that they'd accept the fact that I'm gay and let us all get on with things.) I now refuse to go visit them, since I would be expected to come without my partner. I phone them every once in a while, but no more than that. Mom's sisters and brother think she's living in a cave and that she needs to come out and see the world (ha!) My sister also thinks they're being unreasonable.

The good news is that my partner's family has totally embraced me and has taken me into the family.

 

[maytagbear]

I came out

to Ma when I was 18. She was dismayed, but not particularly hostile. She was an educated, sophisticated woman, and one of her best friends at the school where she taught was a gay man in the English department. She liked some of my boyfriends, and didn't like others.

The closest to a fight we ever had over my sexuality was during the revelations of Jeffrey Dahmer.
She was just afraid FOR me then.

My sister (only sibling, 3 years older), had a harder time with me being gay. Today we are civil, and sometimes friendly, but far from close. At least she has always let me have access to my nieces. (That is moot now, my delighftul nieces now are both over 18.)

Dad died when I was five. He might have had a problem with me being gay at first, but now, he'd have a harder time with me being a Democrat.

Most of the time I am content with my sexuality. I really hate being single, however.

Lawrence/Maytagbear