10/11/05 is National Coming Out Day....

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Odd that it's in November and not in June...

My last semester in college I was interning at the campus GLBTQ center. I was also living in a house with a total right-winger, to whom I had to explain what GLBTQ stood for. IMMEDIATELY the atmosphere changed. I was about to go to bed when I heard him scream my name. He was standing at the foot of the stairs, shuffling his feet and (literally) muttering, "Uh, how do I ask...uh..." Finally he said, "Is your decision...on where to do your internship...based on any...previous decision?" I knew what he was driving at, but I wasn't gonna make it easy for him. After a few more minutes of shuffling and muttering, "How do I ask, how do I ask...," he finally blurted, "DOES THE DOOR SWING STRAIGHT?" I refused to answer and went to bed.

On another occasion my mom, my brother, my aunt, and I were having lunch with an old woman (relative of a relative). When Oldie Hawn heard where I was going to college, she said, "Oh. Do you know many GAAAAAYS?" Mom almost fell off her chair. "So-and-so's son went to that school and he turned out gay," Oldie said. And in a confidential whisper, "We think that's what did it."
 
For example. Example when my mother forced it out of me...

We were on the couch in the den, she took my head into her lap and stroked my hair and we both had a good cry.

She said out loud (with such hope) "oh, it's a phase".
When I replied "I don't really think so". In the span of about half an hour she became bitter and nasty and said "well the good thing is, now that you have decided to throw your life away, at least you don't have to go to college and you can become a hair-dresser like the rest of THEM.

I got up and silently left the room, and shot a dirty glance across the room that could have bent steel.

Funny thing, total silent treatment for about 9 months (me to her) kinda got the point across.

IRONIC TIDBIT: I had left home, I put myself through school full-time, while working full-time, and was in a committed long-term realtionship by the time I was 19 y.o.
(my sisters, tuition paid, cars handed to them, living at home, dropped out--"stress")

Sing it, girls:

I AM STORNG,
I AM INVINCIPlE
I AM W......
HEAR ME ROAR

Just wait till my relationship surpasses the duration of dear old mom's marriage. (A marriage is "Real" ya know what is THAT?)OOOOOhhhhh child. Pity the fool.
 
I was 28...

My dad was cool, mom was another matter.. I don't think she fully understood the whole thing...
She frowned on every girl I dated in my teens and early 20's...

So out I came at 28.
Time passed, and a few years later when I was in college in Nebraska my parents came to visit. Somehow during that visit the subject came up again and her response was "I thought you outgrew that"
I'm 41 now, have a good relationship with my parents. I've also learned it doesen't matter if its male or female I am with, its all about control, and how much mom percieves she might or might not have.

I can also say I would never change anything, I like the person I am, and maybe the only regret I have is I didn't come out earlier.
Such is life...
 
Hairdresser? MOI?
Do you trust me near your ears (or lower) with scissors? Don't yet have training as a moyel.

Actually, I was an accountant for 20 years, and am now a commercial real-estate appraiser. Show me what ya got baby, and I'll tell ya how it compares to the others and what others are willing to pay for it.

SERIOUS ADVICE:
Come out to yourself as soon as possible.
SHUT your face to all others. Things change, people change, circumstances change and there are all categories between Kinsey's 0 and 6. Don't lock yourself into a category.

Nothing is forever but the earth and sky. Dust in the wind.....

http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/ak-hhscale.html
 
I had a link that I was ready to post with some results of the Kinsey studies, but it was a bit much.

From the above link you can figure out how to dig and search and drill-down to find the results of some studies on a number of topics.
 
Fascinaitng to me is that there is NO ONE on Kinsey's scale who is a perfect "Zero" (more like a 0.5), yet there are full "6s".

Each number, BTW is also a range

HHHHMMMMMMMMM
 
Lez is more.

LOL ROLF LMAO

Still doesn't explaint the style, flair and creativity gene.....

Well at least a L probably doesn't concern herself with the variety of pipes avaialable. Not to mention conduits. (say... Oil vs. electrical) LOL

So I guess I can't diasagree...

:-)
 
When I was young, my parents gave me a toy washing machine and a toy dishwasher instead of basketball or football. They knew early on which direction I was headed. So at age 22 (I am now almost 54), when I "officially" came out, it came as no great surprise to either of my parents.
When all the boys were playing basketball and football, I was hanging out in the laundry room watching the Apex bounce-o-matics. On her way to the supermarket, my Mom would leave me at the laundromat while she shopped and picked me up on the way home.
 
National Coming out Day

The first article mentions Rob Eichberg as one of the founders of the idea. Rob started a workshop (also very briefly mentioned) called The Experience. Did anyone here ever attend that workshop?

Back in those days I was living in Chicago and was the local area director of The Experience for a year. It was really something as was Rob. When he passed, we lost a very powerful individual. I'd love to chat with any Experience grads out there! Any Intensive grads?
 
All my friends & coworkers know and always have. No point hiding anything from them since we see each other all the time and it's no big deal for any of 'em.

I never told my dad because I was afraid the news would give him a(nother) heart attack. A couple years ago, my brother & I conspired to break the news to my mom gently just in case. Her reaction? "Oh, we knew..." Nothing changed. But I don't think my parents actually knew. Maybe suspected.

Anyway, it was 100% wonderful to get that issue taken care of, should have done it much earlier like in college. Having to cover up is basically the same as a great big lie, which is not only an ethical burden but a practical hassle as well (how many of us have almost slipped with a gender pronoun?:-).

I've been single for the past 7 - 8 years... monogamously oriented... GenX... geek lifestyle... Oakland CA area... (hmm!)
 
I told my parents when I was 35 and my Dad's response was - Did you think we just came over on the boat? They knew all along they were just waiting for me. As so many others have said when my Dad wanted me to go outside and do sports stuff I was more interested in playing with my sisters toy appliances or the real ones in my Mom's kitchen. I wish I would have told them sooner, but I did what I did and that's all there is. :o)
 
I hear ya

I came out at 35 myself. My parents knew and they were ok with it. I did the same things. I had toy washers, helped my mom wash clothes and clean house. My dad did things with me too. My parents were wonderful to me growing up. The hard part now is watching my mother slowy go to Alzehimers at 83 in a nursing home. My dad crys now - never seen him do that before.
As far as the hairdresser is concerned - bald is beautiful baby ;-)

Joe
jamman_98
 
Coming Out

I always knew that I was gay from the age of 12 but did not come out until I was about 26. My mother said she had known for 2 years and had accepted it as well as my father. My one sibling has no problems with it as well. I have a wonderful family that does not judge in anyway, form, or fashion. Like several mentioned before I loved helping my mother do laundry, etc. She had a few GE Filter-Flos when I was growing up and still can remember that rhythmic wash action these washers had.
 
My parents are a mess. While growing up, I was in my sister's room all the time, playing Barbies with her. Didn't like sports. Crazy about washing machines. Always called a "sissy" at school (among other things!) Only a boulder wouldn't have suspected I was gay!! When I came out to them at 28 because I was moving in with my boyfriend, they thought it was just a sinful phase (major Church of Christ people!) Fast forward 15 years to the present...They still refuse to meet my partner. Everyone else in the family either has no problem with my being gay, or they don't like it but consider it none of their business. I got fed up with the parents about 4 years ago when I sent them a Christmas gift with a card signed by both my partner and me.....They sent it back, saying that they could not accept a gift from "the two of us," because it would be seen as condoning our relationship. Up to that point, I'd gone on a trip here or there to visit them at their home....w/o my partner, but I decided that this was the last straw. Neither side was getting anywhere (ie, them hoping that I'd "come back to the Lord" and me hoping that they'd accept the fact that I'm gay and let us all get on with things.) I now refuse to go visit them, since I would be expected to come without my partner. I phone them every once in a while, but no more than that. Mom's sisters and brother think she's living in a cave and that she needs to come out and see the world (ha!) My sister also thinks they're being unreasonable.

The good news is that my partner's family has totally embraced me and has taken me into the family.
 
I came out

to Ma when I was 18. She was dismayed, but not particularly hostile. She was an educated, sophisticated woman, and one of her best friends at the school where she taught was a gay man in the English department. She liked some of my boyfriends, and didn't like others.

The closest to a fight we ever had over my sexuality was during the revelations of Jeffrey Dahmer.
She was just afraid FOR me then.

My sister (only sibling, 3 years older), had a harder time with me being gay. Today we are civil, and sometimes friendly, but far from close. At least she has always let me have access to my nieces. (That is moot now, my delighftul nieces now are both over 18.)

Dad died when I was five. He might have had a problem with me being gay at first, but now, he'd have a harder time with me being a Democrat.

Most of the time I am content with my sexuality. I really hate being single, however.

Lawrence/Maytagbear
 
I told my oldest sister a couple of years ago. She was surprised, thought I really liked women. She's been supportive, as has her husband. My other sister was thinking about moving here. She's now goes to one of those fundamentalist Bible churches, leaving the Catholic church almost 20 years ago. Advice by my other sister and one of my "gay parents" suggested I should tell her about myself so she could make a decision as to whether to still move here or not. I did this the night b4 I left for Omaha in June. Didn't hear much from her until about 6 weeks later when she told me she was closing on her old house and moving to a rent house in Dallas. My mom commented they were quite surprised by my sister's sudden change of plans to not move here. But I "knew". It sent me into a deep funk for a month or so and it still hurts deeply.

I told a good friend of mine from church after she had made comments about a couple of guys she knew in Midland that were such good dancers and ... She said gay guys are cool. I replied, I"m one of those cool guys. She was flabberghasted, say NOOOOOO GET OUTTA HERE. She then asked, "do you do hair"? NOOOOOOOOOO. "Do you like to decorate?" NOOOOOOOOOOOOO I"m just a typical guy who prefers .....

A couple of people know at work, they're tolerant.

Texas is going to be voting on one of those ammendment type things soon about marriage should only be between a man & a woman. There was a guy from work on the local news last night--the issue was a flyer that showed up at work as a political statement and concern "we" were going to be bussing in "us" to Texas to register our voters to help win this vote. Work's official response is they don't condone any political messages or flyers at work. And it's true, never seen anything at all. Anyway, I actually sent this young man an email thanking him for something I could never do. He was most appreciative of the kind words and support I sent to him. Revealing myself was a big step. So I guess I "came out" today in a way LOL. Hadn't even occurred to me until seeing this thread.

My parents don't know for sure. I don't see a need to as they're in their late 80s. And I don't care to go through what David's parents have done to him--my sister is painful enough. I'd only planned on telling them if I ended up with someone special, but that's not likely to happen anyway.
 
Bob, I feel for you. On the other hand, I'm laughing at your friend's reaction!

Every once in a while it'll occur to me that:
1. I don't care for Judy, Liza, Cher, or Madonna.
2. I couldn't decorate my way out of a paper bag.
3. I dance like a white guy, which is to say, a series of spastic motions having no relationship to the beat.
4. Have no color sense.
5. I'm a lousy host.
6. I own power tools. And know how to use them.

I keep thinking that one of these days, someone from Corporate is going to come by and make me relinquish my membership card!

veg
 
call me versatile...

It makes my mother CRAZY that I am just as good with a tool-box as I am with a food-processor.

What can I say I NEED to be a complete well-rounded independent person. Gotta do it all.

Living well is the BEST revenge.

Learned early-on you can depend only on your own two hands.
 
OUT = GOOD

I knew I was a good friend of Dorothy by the time I was about
5, but I figured out that it would be best to keep a low profile for the time being. So I didn't really come out until
I was 21 in 1973. At that time there were quite a few "low
profile" Gays in Western Nevada County, mostly owned small
artsy shops or eating establishments. I was beginning to mix with some of them by then. Most of my tight high school friends were very accepting; I am the youngest of three boys;
I ended up telling my brothers within six months, actually it was at a birthday party for both of them as they both have April birthdays. They were totally cool. It was just shortly after the American Psychiatric Organization ( I forget the exact name of the group ) went on official record saying that
homosexuals are not "nuts", but ever so slightly rattled! My oldest brother referenced that very fact. I didn't come out to the folks until 1977 and that was at the quizzing by my father. He was incredibly relieved, that he finally figured out why I was so different(????) from David & Dennis. To his credit and during this discussion he took a $100 bill out of his wallet and gave it too me during our conversation. I knew that was his way of saying that he could accept me; not necessarily understand, but that he loved me as he did my brothers. ( In many ways @ the time one could easily liken
CK to Archie Bunker) He stated that he was mostly concerned about me being lonely and having a "hard" (npi!) life. I was very tight with Mother Dearest and she was upset that I didn't have the talk with her, but no one in my family has ever rejected me. And as well they have been totally supportive through my 20+ years of living with the dreaded
HIV.(I am asymptomatic [knock on vintage washingmachine!])Do any of you remember the wonderful mid 70's (75/6 iirc) docu-mentary "Word Is Out"? Happy "Outness" Darlings! note to Bob
appnut, "Chile, never ever say never ever!"
xox frontal
 
Hmmm...

I have really enjoyed these posts.
Like Veg, I am waiting for someone to come take my card away as:
I'm not a Liza or Judy or Barbara fan
I've never seen all of "Mildred Pierce" or "Valley of the Dolls"
I'm not much of a decorator
I've never had a manicure or pedicure
I detest going to the mall
I own some power tools and know how to use them
I've never been afraid to get my hands dirty

Our diversity is what makes us all special!
 
I like shopping
-- and when shopping, it's toys, appliances, computer, tv, and stereo stuff.
I like Judy, Liza, Cher and Madonna
I'm ok with colors
I love cooking and kitchen stuff
I love appliances (duh)
I used to sew but I haven't for a while
I would've taken Home Ec in school but that would've heaped more coals on the torture.

And...

I'm str8.

We are a diverse crowd and I like it.
 
Well...

I also like shopping for appliances, electronics, and even clothes, colognes, etc.
I like the "contemporary" Euro-style look in my room where others have sports posters plastered all over the wall
I'm probably the only one I know with a 1983 Zenith 27" console sitting in my room
I like cooking and sewing (haven't sewed since Freshman year when I was doing technical work for a fall play and had to machine-sew costumes, however)
I took Home Ec in 7th grade (along with two "normal" in my class that you couldn't see taking it...we made Barbecue Shrimp for one recipe project and it was GOOD)
I like doing laundry and vacuuming, and I always wash a load or two before any major social event...LOL
Of course I like the appliances and prefer vintage to modern when it comes down to certain things...

And I'm also a straight guy.

Gotta love this great group we have here!
 
Huh?

Another straight guy? Did you just come out of the closet now or did you come out before? I had to think long and hard before I admitted my straightness here. I wasn't sure what the repercussions would be. I wanted to fit in. I felt a little ashamed of myself hiding who I really was. I thought that in a just world, I would be able to admit my straightness and still be accepted, but the world is cruel sometimes and people who are different are sometimes shunned and looked down on.

But I felt I was living a lie and decided to come clean. And if the others shunned me or looked down on me or felt threatened by my straightness, well, that's the way it goes. I can't control others, I can only control myself and I wanted to look at myself in the mirror and be proud of myself. So, I outed myself. And I never looked back.

And Jason, I don't know if you just outed yourself for the first time just now or not, but if you did, and it was because you took your inspiration from me, then by damned I've done a good thing. And I encourage all straight people to come out here. There may be a bigger percentage of straights in the closet here than people think. I'm sure the others will accept us. But if they don't, well, we can start automaticwashingmachine.org and be all inclusive. We'll even let French people join.
 

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