Affairs of the heart

[rickr]

Don't know for shure what it mean in this case. But DL is urban slang for "down low" which means keeping it all under cover. According to my little boyfriend, "we're on the down low" (well,at least HE is) lol!

Good luck Veggy, and don't forget about Mr. Wrong.... <grin>

 

[veg-o-matic]

How could I forget about Mr. Wrong? That seems to be me.

For everyone.

veg

 

[peterh770]

PNP is party and play or poppers and play. Drugs involved. Having sex in an altered state -- not fun and not safe.

I think all the online places are meatmarkets. You can find some nice eye candy, and now and then get some hot sex. Rarely do real relationships happen. It's based more on your personality than your sexual prowess. I always get offers of marriage after an online-arranged meeting, but I always turn them down because I know they are not thinking with the right head.

Veg, see if you can find a local group on the web. Baltimore is a big city; there should be several different social groups there. Sniff around the Yahoo! Groups and see. Most will probably be j/o clubs or spanking groups, but there should be a few truly social clubs there.

Keep trying, Veg. Your prince will come when you least expect it. Stand up straight, shoulders back, arms down, heart out and a smile on your lips and in your eyes.

Prowess? Isn't that Laundress' sister?

 

[brettsomers]

Veg, enough of the put-downs! (though what were you thinking when you listed on manhunt!?) anyone with your (apparent) humor and good-looks shouldnt be so discouraged!

 

[rickr]

Mr. Wrong is not you Veg! What I am trying to tell you, is not to look for Mr. Right. Check out what comes along. It really won't hurt, and you may find that you might really like Mr. Wrong after all. Date around and, just have a good time. Don't set yourself up for a big letdown. Just because someone does not meet your exact expectations of your prince, does not mean that you can't go out with them. Remember that I said not to expect to meet prince charming right away.

Good luck Veg, and don't forget Mr.Wrong.

Rick, (who has been seeing Mr. Wrong for 3&1/2 years)

 

[Unimatic1140]

I've Kept My Big Mouth Shut Until Now...

May I be a blunt male pig here?

Veg, I don't know what exactly you mean by "Too old for one guy, too ugly for another". Were these responses from ads you responded to? If that is so and they were that rude to you to begin with, the last thing you want is to date them. Gross.

First of all Peter's advice is very good about finding a local social group in Baltimore, you need to network both on-line and off-line.

Now my advice to you is going to be on web dating and it’s going to sound shallow, because it is, but let’s deal in some reality. Before I met Neal I did a bit of this myself and after experimenting a while here is what I found. Men are pigs, gay or straight it doesn’t matter. We are very visual and the pictures you post are extremely important because they make a first impression on potential dates. I've never met you, but I have seen pictures of you and you seem very good looking and photogenic to me, one of the hotter guys of our little club, actually. You have a youthful appearance and I wouldn't say this if I didn't mean it, I would just wouldn't say anything. So there is no reason why shouldn’t be able to meet lots of guys around your age bracket.

Now do you like the pictures you are posting of yourself, this is a very important question? Do you have a digital camera, with a self-timer and tripod? You should take 100 pictures of yourself, then upload them to your computer and go through each and every one carefully. Take them over the course of a week or two and do it all over the house both in bright sunshine and at night wearing different changes of clothing. Variety is important to get good pictures. Out of 100 you will probably only find 10 or so you will really like of yourself. Use those and rotate those pictures in your ads. As for the ad itself I would get rid of "and I'm certainly not hot", and replace it with “handsome guy”, because you are. Nothing what so ever negative should be in the text of your ad, it should be positive in a light hearted, creative and every so slightly funny way.

Manhunt.net is probably not going to help you find a boyfriend, but with the right ad and pictures you will a lot fun until your Night in Shining Armor arrives. Just always be safe. Speaking of Manhunt and good friend of mine recently met a guy on there and they have been dating for seven months now. They tell everyone that they met on Gay.com, which I think is hysterical, so one can find a bf on Manhunt, just less likely.

Sorry to be so blunt but I think its probably in order here and I think you will appreciate the advice.

 

[jasonl]

Men are pigs

Excuse me? Not all of us are, and some women can be just as shallow to base everything on looks. I've been there and have been told repeatedly by different women that I was unattractive apparently cause of my imperfections.

I'm glad I'm not in that scene anymore. If you were str8 I'd say try eharmony. Otherwise, I really don't know what to say. If all else fails, just stay single. I will agree on one thing it is a PITA to find a mate, regardless of sexual orientation.

 

[veg-o-matic]

Thank you, Robert. I do appreciate the advice. You're a dear.

I totally agree that men are pigs. Most of them anyway. I know a few exceptions--myself included. See? I can give myself credit.

I've taken a lot of pictures, been satisfied with one of them. I'll keep taking more but... Hey Robert-- can I use a picture of you instead?

I'll take your--and everybody else's--advice and tweak my profile. I'm just trying to be honest here, and I know what I see in the mirror each morning. Yeah, yeah, but just ask anyone who's seen me in person. So there.

Oh, the "too old/too ugly" reponses were "canned" ones that Yahoo provides for the less-than-tactful. No escaping the meaning, though.

As for manhunt, yeah, I'm thinking that might have been a mistake. But a friend of mine hangs out there all the time and always seems to have plenty of guys chasing after him. I won't go into what he looks like.

Man, I really need to chill, don't I? Apparently, the massive doses of antidepressants just aren't doing their job lately; my heart still feels like a giant sucking chest wound. That'll go away eventually, right?

Right?

Thanks, everyone for all your help and support. I probably should have been like Jeff and just faded away for a while, but even I know when I need some help.

And something tells me I'm going to be needing more...

veg

 

[oxydolfan1]

I thought pork was a verb...

lol...

Seriously, veg, I'm pretty much in your situation and I can totally relate.

Sometimes, I just get so despondent over the whole deal, I just don't know what to do.

 

[mixfinder]

Buy the Book

Veg
Buy the book, 100 Ways to Get Laid. It has fabulous advice on how to sell yourself and stay real at the same time.
Join Silver Daddies. Relax into who you are. You are enough. You have the Ruby Slippers.
Click your heels, sweetheart, you are enough.
Kelly
There is a world of difference between aching for a sense of belonging and depression.

 

[perc-o-prince]

Hey Veg!

Perhaps you could try an ad that reads something like this:

Hi,

I'm ___(fill in name). I'm ___yrs old. Considered handsome by my honest friends and am tired of the BS (bull shit). I'm a bit tired of cold, attitudinal, non-affectionate, promiscuous gay people who don't know what they want in life. I am very honest, caring, trusting, loyal and very, very romantic. I expect the same in return!

I enjoy dancing, reading, music, romantic walks and cuddling in front of a fireplace after a nice home cooked meal.

I am interested in meeting someone that could develope into a long term relationship BUT also I am also looking for a relationship that is going to start in the livingroom and NOT in the bedroom!!

Well, I hope that I have told you enough about myself so that you can get an idea as too who I am.
--------------------------------------------------------------

Of course you would want to fill in your own personal information.

Where did this above ad come from?....Well...It was MY reply to someones ad titled "Tired of the BS". The person who I replied to found my reply to be honest and interesting. The rest is history!!! Chuck and I have been cuddling in front of fireplaces for, going on, 19 incredible years!

I had just come out of a string of bad situations as well as a 5 year, live together, relationship (I discovered him setting up house with a MARRIED man!) comming to an abrupt end(I threw his a$$ out the door, my door, with nothing but the clothes on his back) . I couldn't have sunk any lower and my self worth was at an all time low! I figured that I would push my good qualities and the rest be damned! I wanted no more games!

Veg, I have some advice for you. This was told to me by an old salesman and since you are trying to sell yourself, I think it's appropriate. "Think you can. Think you can't...Either way you will be right!" SO....stop with the self-sabotage (think you can't) and start with self promotion (think you can) and if you can't think of anything positive (I don't know why you couldn't)then have a trusted friend, who knows you well, help you out.

Get off the pity pot and stay on the dance floor of life because if you're looking for sympathy....you can find it in the dictionary. Right between S--T and SYPHILIS!!!

You wrote in your last post "In desperation". Veg, those words, to a LOSER who is reading your ad, are like fresh meat, to a lion. It attracts them from a mile a way!!

I've read your past posts and I've seen your picture and I will agree with Robert. You have a lot to offer. Give it only to those who are worthy and quickly leave the rest behind (those who have the balls to say that you are ugly). You deserve the best in life so take nothing less for yourself. You ARE worth it!!!! Good luck and have fun!

Rich

 

[Unimatic1140]

I totally agree that men are pigs. Most of them anyway. I know a few exceptions--myself included. See? I can give myself credit.
Good for you Veg, now stop that right now and be a pig like the rest of us LOL, just kidding. I’ve been a complete pig at times so I can’t talk.

I've taken a lot of pictures, been satisfied with one of them. I'll keep taking more but...

Ahhh Ha! There’s part of the problem right there. You only have ONE picture that you are satisfied with, that’s not enough, you need at least five. Keep snapping those shots Veg, this is not easy to do and it’s very time consuming. And by the way, these pictures need to be cuter or hotter than you “think” you really are. You need to post pictures of yourself that you look at and say, “wow I look in the mirror and I’m definitely not that cute, so how did I managed to take that picture”. We are all our own worst enemies and we look in the mirror we all see our imperfections a lot bigger than other people around us see them. So you can’t take a really hot picture of yourself and say “I can’t post that, that’s just a lucky shot, it would be like telling a lie”. Well that’s nonsense, because it really is YOU in that photo. I remember when I did this at first I got almost no responses, but when I started experimenting with the pictures is when I quickly learned what sells and what doesn’t.

I'll take your--and everybody else's--advice and tweak my profile. I'm just trying to be honest here, and I know what I see in the mirror each morning. Yeah, yeah, but just ask anyone who's seen me in person. So there.
You don’t have to lie, but you if your ad sounds comfortable and completely confident others will see it as a challenge to “get you”. And what you see in the mirror isn’t necessarily representative of what others will see.

Oh, the "too old/too ugly" reponses were "canned" ones that Yahoo provides for the less-than-tactful. No escaping the meaning, though.
Veg, you gonna get rejected, I know I did many times and I know your friend who hangs out at manhunt and has guys chasing him all the time gets rejected too. If he tells you otherwise he is not being honest, cause it happens to everyone and it happens a lot. When it happens it best to quickly forget and move onto the next twenty five fish in the sea.

As for manhunt, yeah, I'm thinking that might have been a mistake
Nonsense, have some fun for god sakes, just be safe and don’t expect anything more from these little “dates” then just a passing thrill.

Jason is right, being on the hunt sucks, your self esteem is going to be on a roller coaster, but in the end it will be worth it all. Kelly’s book idea, 100 Ways to Get Laid sounds like a good idea as well. Just keep an open mind and don’t expect too much, this is probably going to take a while.

 

[washertalk]

It is a numbers game.
There is now over 300 million people just in the U.S.

And most of us are only looking for 1.

 

[brettsomers]

photo tips

avoid using a flash
avoid having the camera *look up* at you, slightly above eye level is best, a smile is a sure to lure! look at the camera as if looking at a beloved friend. a light source (such as a shaded floor lamp) placed slightly above the camera can be very flattering. a tripod IS very helpful. pictures that include pets can be effective. if you have a favorite room or setting, use it, it will help project your personality. are you loyal? devoted? funny? good cook? patient? enthusiastic? thoughtful? laid back? energetic? talker? thrill-seeker? cuddler? independent? dont be afraid to post your profiles HERE, we will tell you whats best. (lol) David

 

[neptunebob]

I didn't read the thread all the way through, but I wonder: Am I the only one who wants to puke when I hear those Eharmony commercials?

 

[scott55405]

I don't know about the commercials, but I for one would certainly like to know what they're trying to prove by not having a gay section. Is it some kind of a religious based service or am I missing something, or do is just something the world simply does not know (LOL).

 

[toggleswitch]

~Am I the only one who wants to puke when I hear those Eharmony commercials?

LOL ROFL LMAO!

 

[jasonl]

Eharmony

Don't diss eharmony. For what it's worth it worked for me. But yeah, unfortunately you gotta be straight.

 

[hoover1060]

gay sites

True.com and Glimpse.com are gay friendly.
One interesting thing I found in checking out those sites is the guys.
I've hung out on gay.com and Manhunt, and then glimpse and yahoo personals at various times.
Chicago is an pretty big place, and here I was seeing many of the SAME guys between the various sites, profiles adjusted for each site.
Bottom line is don't rule out one site over another, you never know what you'll find, and I honestly believe that nice people can be met anywhere.
A good friend of mine once joked to me: "You gotta kiss alot of frogs to find your prince charming"

 

[toggleswitch]

...just don't catch anything (warts).