how to handle....

[vacuumfreeeke]

I thought I'd ask for some advice from my friends here... you guys are pretty smart ) I work in an office in a hotel and something happened tonight that has happened before, but lately it's been bothering me more and more each time it occurs. As I was booking a client for his timeshare presentation he said, "By the way, I'm a retired minister and I wrote this little book that I wanted to give you. I hope you enjoy it." It was of course a tract telling me how I can "find jesus". I was raised in the church growing, first Baptist, then Pentecostal... even after I realized I was gay and had been formally asked to leave or repent at several churches, I still tried to be a christian. Then I realized that I had some problems with religion, and that if they were wrong about the gay thing, they were wrong about a few other things as well. I've been an agnostic/athiest for about 2 years now and I haven't looked back. But, it really bothers me when people try to cram their belief system down my throat... a belief system that I am familiar with and believe to be not only fake but evil (maybe it's the people who are evil and not the system, who knows). I NEVER hand out tracts telling religious people why they should stop believing (maybe I should start?).

So, I'm just wondering how to react when someone does this to me? They are being rude and overstepping boundaries, and I'd love nothing more than to put them in their place, but alas I can't be nasty at work. It's a natural reaction when someone hands you something to tell them thank you, but I'd really rather say &%$^ you instead. Is there a happy medium?

 

[danemodsandy]

Hi:

Here's what I'd do:

When they try handing you the tract, you can say, "I'm really happy with my church - why don't you save that for someone else?" You do not have to tell them that your "church" is the First United Gathering of the Unbeliever.

They'll then try to draw you out about what church, and that's when I'd say, "Since I'm at work, I'm really not supposed to talk about it, but thanks." And then turn and busy yourself with the computer or some paperwork.

That should politely discourage anyone capable of being politely discouraged. There will always be a few who will not take these hints, in which case I would take the damn thing, say "Thanks - I'll have to read this after work," and busy myself with something until the guy leaves. Then I would stick the tract in the round file, happy in the near-certain knowledge that Mr. Religious is back in his room pounding away at his laptop checking the Craigslist personals.

 

[xraytech]

Bobby,

I also have to deal with this on occasion, some patients come through the ER equipped with enough religious pamphlets to give one to everyone they see.When they ask what religion I am I always let them know I am Catholic and I am very satisfied with my church, it really annoys them.
It annoys the hell out of me, but I politley say thank you and continue with their exam, then I say "I hope you were very satisfied with your service today".

I do think Sandy has some good advice that should work, I cant think of anything more to ad to what he already said.

 

[ronhic]

You could always

...accept graciously, take it with you as you leave for the day and then throw it in the dumpster as you approach your car...

...you can honestly say then that 'I took it with me last night but havn't read it'....

 

[alr2903]

I posted this b4, my last day as a "royal ambassador" we made visits to a sick member of the congregation, the elderly husband was "in the bed sick" the house sparsely furnished and cold, it was winter time. i observed canned soup being prepared for dinner. The reverend took money from the lady in a church offering envelope. We then returned to the "fellowship" hall in rev's Buick. I will never forget it, as long as i live. Imho, a man of religous conviction would of gotten HIS wallet out and give the poor lady a crisp $20.00. I have not been back. I do contribute directly to families especially at this time of year. I guess i got off thread, and its probably a silly thing to remember but i do. alr2903

 

[sudsmaster]

One of the most effective ways to deflect such offers is simply to thank them but tell them you're not interested - nicely and with a smile. You don't have to explain it any more than that. You might have to repeat it once or twice, but I've found - at least with evangelists that come to the door - this method works the best. It doesn't leave them any "hook" to grab you with, no personal information is provided to give them a point of entry. And of course if they persist, a simple firm, "No thanks, very kind of you to offer, but I must say no. Now how can I help you with your [room, purchase, walk back to your car, leaving my porch, etc...]?"

 

[ronhic]

Speaking of.....

....religous groups or representatives knocking on the door...

When I was about 7months old (say April 1970) my mother had to go to the pharmacy and my father was home bent double with a bad back...I was left propped with cushions on a blanket on the floor so dad could actually watch me and the door bell went...

...t'was the Mormons....my fathers favourite...

He politely declined.

They could quite obviously see the man was in pain and apparently had glimpsed me on the blanket on the floor....

They became quite insistant when dad effectively said they should leave, one put his foot in the door jam...He was told to remove it, which he didn't so with all that he could muster in his state he slammed the 4'wide 2 1/2" thick solid hardwood door and probably broke his foot...

To this day, other neighbours have been visited, but they miss number 13....

 

[goatfarmer]

Any of the above should work quite well!

 

[shanonabc]

Hey Chris...

Reckon they now suffer from Triskaidekaphobia?

 

[toggleswitch2]

False prophets bring real profits.

Well, if you weren't @ work, you could say...

"I worship the devil and (s)he has told just me you are doing a wonderful job of his/her work. So thank you........"

 

[dogboy44]

I am surprised

to hear that people still do that. I was raised in the Baptist church as well, and am as gay as the day is long. Sometimes it is an opportunity to share what a worthless cult of hatred and bigotry they are, or sometimes it is a opportunity to practice tolerance. You can also play your Baptist card with them to get out of it. "Oh yes, thank you I was raised a Baptist. They know you could quote the sickening little pamphlet without even opening it, and will leave you alone.

 

[panthera]

Funny you should ask,

I politely remind them that 2/3 of American Baptists support torture and then tell them about Uganda.
About that point they realize what they're dealing with.
No more Mr. Nicegay. Any Rethuglican or christianist who is stupid enough (OK, that was a tautology) to attack me with their hateful bullshit gets it right between the eyes. I've had it with the sick monsters.

 

[danemodsandy]

Uh, Keven:

If you'll read vacuumfreeke's post again, you'll see this is happening to him on his job, where he's not free to respond as he pleases, therefore the difficulty and his request for suggestions.

 

[penguinsoup]

Religiosity or Not? That is an interesting question....

I am answering this without reading any other replies so my ideas will just come out flowing through the keyboard without any influence one way or another.

I too have worked with the public and a certain composure and tact are certainly necessary in most situations. I have accepted religious trinkets and assorted books in the past and always thanked the person that gave them to me as I honestly like to think that they are doing this out of a gesture of kindness.

Sometimes I'll read or look at them, other times I will not. But generally I'll at least give them a quick once over just to compare their ideas with my own and assess who is right, and who is wrong. (I just re-read the Bible last year and some other religious books, voluntarily I might add, which is odd for me as I'm not "overly religious", and many seem to have both good & bad ideas in them. That is what makes the human being wonderful: The means to think for themselves and most seem to have a sense of good and or bad, right and or wrong, and most people have a good code of ethics). Now to get back to what I was saying, after the once over I'll usually do one of two things with the item: file 13, or give them to someone else who may appreciate it, and they have always thanked me in return. Is that right or wrong? Who knows.

Just a few thoughts,

Peng

 

[rapunzel]

A question for Panthera!

Is it true that soliciting in the name of religion is illegal in Germany? If you belong to one of those cults like the LDS or Jehovas, you may stand on a street corner with your little book, but you can not go up to people and flog your religion. Thus, you have to wait for people to come up to you.

If someone asks me or starts rambling on about God/Jesus, I tell them that I am not interested. If they persist they will know that I am an atheist. If they still refuse to go away, I also tell them that I am gay. That usually ends the conversation.

 

[panthera]

Rapunzel,

No, free speech is more broadly protected in Germany than in the US post-'Patriot Act'.
In fact, I have Mormons and Jehova's Witness and Seventh-Day Adventists and Scientologists and the ladies from the Catholic church show up at my apartment house regularly.

What is forbidden in Germany, absolutely and utterly is for the two main churches to solicit money from people because they get their funding through taxes raised for them by the German government. If a Catholic kindergarten wants to run a bazaar to raise money for new playground equipment, ok. The Evangelical Kirche (nothing whatsovever to do with the hate-filled monsters who run America) wants to run homeless shelters and seek donations for clothes, etc, no problem. But they may, under no circumstances, solicit money for purely religious purposes: They get a big cut of their members' salaries deducted from their paychecks directly paid into their coffers.

Sandy, you are right, he is at work. I have been fired twice in the the US for being gay, both times because my decent boss was replaced by a christianist. My position remains: As long as these hateful monsters demand our murder by strangulation, our only defense is to hit them back as hard as possible. So, if you live in a state which protects us, go to human resources and pound their ass up against the political correctness wall. If you live in a state where it is legal to discriminate against us, the best you can do is to follow the advice others have given here publicly and redouble your efforts to get ENDA passed so you do have a defense against these bastards.
No more Mr. Nicegay. The christianist bastards are trying to murder us, it is time to fight back and fight back hard!