Pan handling in a parking lot what do you do?

[mattl]

Was at our local Meijer's super store today. It's located just off I-75 and a fairly major intersection. Was loading 5 or 6 bags of groceries into the car when this 20 something woman approached me holding out her driver's license, Telling me she was from Gaylord, which is quite a ways north of here and headed to Oakwood Hospital in Detroit. Had some problems and need gas money. Wasn't dirty or anything, who knows she could have been telling the truth, so I gave her $2.00, it was either that or a $20. It's happened to me once or twice before in the same location.

What do you do in these situations?

 

[sudsmaster]

It's a problem here... the nearest supermarket is in a city-owned shopping plaza. It's infested with pan-handlers, and people just hanging around who clearly are not quite balanced mentally. Because it's public property, the businesses cannot hire guards to eject pan-handlers, soliciters, etc. However the cops can crack down on aggressive panhandlers (and some of them have been aggressive in my experience).

I make a policy of not handing out money to such people. I'll contribute to charity and vote for programs to help the homeless. But some of these people already have help, or are mentally ill, or whatever. I simply shake my head no, or say no, and walk away. I lived in Berkeley for 13 years in the 70's and 80's so I got pretty good at avoiding street people.

Once in a while if someone clearly appears to be in sudden, unexpected need, I'll give them a buck or two. But that is rare. It's not too hard to tell when a story is well-rehearsed. For those who say they need gas money... ask to see their car. Have them open it with their key. Have them show you the gas gauge on empty. And so on, if you want to get that involved.

 

[alr2903]

MattL, i am not being a smart alec, she could of got the whole $22.00, The lady was probably in distress and truthful. She also could of had a couple of "helpers" just out of site, to carjack you. Sometimes its hard to make the "call", that said these people tend to walk up on you out of no where. My last scare was a lady putting a church flyer under my wiper, while i was loading the trunk. I don't know anymore, but i keep my little remote control key in my hand. I did give a lady a "jump start" one day, around noon, sunny day and lots of people around. Its awful either way i guess. alr2903

 

[toggleswitch2]

When I find such a person I offer to buy them food or gasoline. Most times I am refused. I do give money but not for that gasoline or bus/train fare "scam". Who doesn't have a credit card these days or even AAA?

Well that's partially true. An older lady asked me for bus fare. She had just left a store-front church ( I saw her come out of it) and said that she had put her last dollar in the collection plate. Who knows, maybe Jeebus crawled inside of me [when I shelled-out two Georges) and He DID provide for her!

Overall, If their sneakers, outfit and watch are better than mine (or the nails were done in a salon) and they have a cigarette or booze going, you can be sure I think twice about giving.

I usually give most when I have least. You get back what you give-- tenfold...and the Universe usally provides when one is truly lacking.

And since giving is such a blessing (even Jeebus is reported to have said "It is better to give than to receive", I expect a $1 lottery ticket from every state and province represented here to be "given" to me on my birthday! LOL.

NOT!!!!!!!!

P/S i have no problem receiving!

 

[petek]

You was scammed. That ploy ran the Calgary circuit a few years ago. Many times in the Safeway parking lot there'd be guys coming up with the same storyline. After he's gotten a few bucks it's over to the bar at the end of the mall.

Version #2 for your future reference!!!!

You're downtown early morning on the way to work about 730-800 a.m. and stop for a red at an intersection.. A well attired middle aged lady comes to your window as she crosses the street, you roll down window, she says she's on her way to work but forgot her purse or such and needs two dollars to get the bus back home to go get it.. You quickly fish for two bucks and hand it her before the light changes green and people start honking. She thanks you and rushes across the street round the corner where she meets her boyfriend and they do a few more or head into the nearest bar.

A year or two ago there was a woman in Toronto nabbed by the newspaper I think, maybe it was the police, can't remember.. Anyways, she lived in a very nice upper middle class house out in suburban Burlington, drove her BMW into downtown Toronto every morning, dressed down and out and panhandled a few hundred bucks and back home she went.. Can't remember what the outcome of that was.. but I'm sure it goes on everywhere.

 

[panthera]

I give them a few dollars

First, I don't know they aren't really in trouble.
Second, life has blessed me with enough money to survive - but I also was the victim of a tax-office mess up and went from very comfortable to not having anything virtually overnight. Without my friends' help, I would have been out on the street and my animals would have had to go to a shelter.
A 'kill after 60 days' shelter.

Yes, there are scammers and, yes, there are abuses. But, sheesh - for all the talk about being oh-so-Christian, I note the people who never ever give to the pan-handlers are always the ones with the fish symbols on their cars and the super-duper-ultra-patriotic bumper stickers. It's usually the older folks and the young kids who open their hearts.

I'd rather be naive and get 'taken' a few times and still know that someone hungry got a meal because of that naivety than to close my heart.

 

[ironrite]

Constant Vigilance!

Oh this hit a hot button with me.

After being almost attacked by two local "celebrity" panhandlers in SF years ago (thank Heavens for the power of a 390 Thunderbird engine) I don't let any of these people within 10 feet of me. The panhandlers were on local news several times doing interviews. Leaving work one day from our parking garage one of them stood in front of the car and braced himself over the hood while the other one came to the driver's door to open it.

Smith's grocery stores here seem to be the worst for this situation. Either leaving or going to my car I scan the parking area for these folks. Here they are brazen and usually take up spots right outside the door. I'll change parking spaces. If leaving the store and I spot one or a group of them, I'll double back to the store and get one of their managers to escort me out. Of course letting the manager know in a loud voice why do they persist in letting this happen in their parking lot to their customers.

Should I get surprised by one at my car, then I let the crazy loose. As loud as I can yell I let them know to keep away from me, my car, my stuff. Bang the shopping cart around, once in the car, lay on the horn. Usually it scares the crap out of them and of course I look like a total idiot. But would rather look like a fool than get robbed or worse.

For those that pull this stunt of having their kids with them. I look out for the kids and call 311 or 911, giving a description of the vehicle and license. If the kids need help, they'll get it and if not hopefully it will get them out of a bad situation.

Anybody want to go shopping with me?

 

[iheartmaytag]

I have been approached three times in a parking lot. Once at Dillon's and twice at Wal-Mart. All three times the people were well dressed with the "I'm from out of town and forgot my wallet." "I'm from out of town and my credit card won't work."

In all incidents I did not have any cash on me for one thing, but I did offer help by directing them inside to customer service, or to the local church that may be able to assist. All three individuals declined my attempt to help.

One woman walked to the end of the row and got into a car with about three other people and drove off.

The one that scared the bejesus out of me was at Wal-Mart. It was late, and I was out of diapers for my daughter. I normally would not have taken her out but there was no other option. So I am there about 11:00 P.M. I saw the man at the door when I left and he walked behind me as I went to the car. As I was putting my daughter in the car I heard him say "Can I talk to you a minute?"
I flipped around making sure I was between him an my daughter, and had my finger on the panic button (as if anyone would have paid attention to it anyway). I was reaching for my cell phone in my pocket when he went into his speal. I directed him to customer service and advised him to call his credit card company. He could tell I was spooked and walked off quickly.

We have a lot of the group called the "Travelers" a group of gypsies that go around scamming people. They even own a few legitimate businesses here in town. I don't think they are dangerous, but they will scam you out of everything they can get.

 

[danemodsandy]

Self-Correcting Situation:

Since panhandlers usually pick places that aren't the most upscale, the solution for me is very easy. I don't like to give out money, because as has been pointed out here, I know exactly what's going to happen after they get it. Soooo, here's what I do:

PANHANDLER: Hey, Mister, could you spare me a couple of dollars?

SANDY: (Looks around) Friend, if I could afford to help you, I'd be shopping in a nicer place!

They always walk away, muttering...

 

[toggleswitch2]

Not exactly the same but:

When I worked in THE macy's selling womens' shoes, we'd get the southern dames and belles with the high hair, caked-on make-up, dripping in gold, major heels on their pumps. They tended to leave their purses about, unattended. Well sure enough they [the purses] usually wakled away "on their own", (..you in the big city now, girl...)

Poor things would be devasted.

HELP!

..I had my plane tickets in there.
..I had my jewelry in there(there's more???)
..I had $2,000 cash in there.

All we were allowed to say was, "Please go down to security and fill out a report, they will give you a (subway) token (coin) there with which to get home.

THIS IS THE FUN PART.

After they perform two bodily functions on their person they'd screech "But I'm from JAW-JAH" , (or insert of name of other souteastern state). My favorite was when they were WARNED to watch their purse by the staff, and they were still ripped-off and stolen from.

The VERY VERY best was when they'd come flying out of the ladies' loungs screaching their bag was stolen. You fumb duck, why did you hang it from the hook on back of the throne/stall door? It's supposed to be in your lap!

Sorry I just can't help my little ole' self. WISE UP YO!

 

[travis]

Career panhandlers

The area where I work has made panhandling against the law. We regularly call people in. The area isn't quite upscale but draws a good crowd that would stop coming if they were panhandled too much.

I live in the city where I wish they would make it illegal. I see the same guy a couple times a week staggering on one of a few corners he frequents.

I do nearly the same as Sandy and say that I am not carrying cash. It's not an issue of being heartless, but my experience here is that 70% are scammers are or involved in activities that I'd rather not support.

 

[revvinkevin]

Call me a cynic, but..........

About a hundred years ago (well, not really) I worked in a couple different gas station / mini-marts over a 6 year period. I would see a guy or the occasional girl asking customers for $$ as they as they pumped their gas. It was always the same story "Can you please help me, I live (somewhere far) my car is out of gas and don't have any money <OR> my ATM card doesn't work <OR> my wallet was stolen <OR>…" (some other hard luck story). Sometimes they even carried a gas can to make their story that much more convincing.

I see them repeatedly hit up different customers for cash. I chase them off, only to see back an hour or two later, they return the next day (and the next day)… with the EXACT SAME story.

There have been many times I was hit up by someone as I stopped for gas in my own car. Again, same story and sometimes even the gas can. There have been a couple occasions I offered to fill their gas can and they, looking stunned, declined. One time the guy accepted my offer, but was obviously NOT happy as he walked away carrying a full can of gas. HA-HA, Gotcha!

Yes there have also been times I've been hit up in the parking lot of some store I'm going to shop in… I simply tell them "no".

There have been other times I pull up to a restaurant and someone approaches and asks for $$ for food saying they are hungry. I won't give them any cash, however I will offer to buy them something to eat. Again, most of the time they politely decline with some excuse, but there have a few who accepted. I could tell one guy was not happy when I handed him the bag with the burger (or whatever) in it. There have been a few who happily accepted and were very grateful to get something to eat and I was very pleased I could feed him.

There are lots of good, honest, kind hearted people out there and the vast majority of these panhandlers are only out there to take advantage of them. I will NOT give anyone cash when they ask, HOWEVER, I am more then happy to offer them gas or food or whatever they claim they need the $$ for. The majority of the time this will stops them in their tracks.

 

[mattl]

Who knows? There aren't any bars in the area, so I doubt that was it, she might have been a part of a gypsy group, she looked pretty average. I gave her the benefit of a doubt.

However,I get sick of seeing and would never give a penny to those creeps who populate the freeway exit holding signs about how they need food, or selling cheap roses. They are scum pure and simple.

 

[petek]

Matt

The biggest mistake people can make is to give money to panhandlers, scammers or not. Nobody is going to starve to death. There is food and resources available everywhere for the truly destitute even there in Flint. Handing over money only keeps the truly needy from going to a shelter or other resource and getting the help or sustenance they need. Never feel guilty for saying no in these circumstances.
The reality is you are actually doing them more of a favor.

 

[goatfarmer]

When approached, I usually say, "sorry, not today", and walk away. They usually walk away after that.

 

[petek]

Forgot to mention above..that $2 or so you might be guilted into giving a panhandler or scammer would be better served as a donation of cash or canned foodstuffs to the foodbank and feeds more people.

 

[pulltostart]

Similar Situation

Last week I bought gas after work, stopping at my usual Shell station, about a mile from my house. I noticed what appeared to be a panhandler as I was filling the tank on my car and eventually he came my way and told his story. He claimed that he was out of gas and money, claimed that he had just came from a local hospital where his wife had been very ill and he had just filled several Rx and was out of $$$. When something like this happens, you don't have much time to react. There sat his car, he did not appear to be a n'er do well, and I guess he caught me at a good time. I asked him how much it would take to fill up his car and he told me, so I told him to move it to the pump. Once I started pumping gas, there didn't seem a good time to just stop - so I kept pumping until it clicked off. I put not quite 14 gallons in his Subaru and it cost me about $32. I didn't study or question his story to much - there were questionable details in it - but there's no doubt that his car was severely lacking gasoline. I had just put 20-something dollars' worth of gas in my Jeep and I figured if I couldn't spare the money for that tank of gas then something was wrong with me. He seemed extremely grateful for my help, thanked me several times and we parted company.

I don't know if I was taken or not, but I kept thinking 'what if I were really in that situation?'. If he was scamming, he was only scamming for gasoline, he got no cash from me, and unless he had some kind of extra tank rigged up under his car, that car needed gas.

For me, it was a reminder that I have been blessed and I do believe I am called on to share that with others. This was one time when I was willing to step out and take a chance and share. And I don't regret what I did.

Lawrence

 

[bleacho]

new york...

in nyc, it dosent go on much anymore.. outside of the city its really non existent. the very few times in NYC just a simple, stern NO and they walk away.. the few pan handlers that are here, are pretty polite..strange but true.

 

[whirlcool]

When this happens to me in gas stations I tell them to call home collect, surely there is a loved one somewhere that is willing to help them.

When I see pan handlers on corners (we have tons of these in Houston) I roll my window up. If they knock on the window, I tell them to go out and get a f***** job. I did it, so can they.

Several years ago one of our television stations did a story on these panhandlers. Some of them bring home up to $400. per day. One couple they found were doing this AND living in a house free of charge, a church group was paying their rent!
And then of course there are those who are unwilling to help themselves, they always want to be seen as the victim.

At airports, I always tell them to go to the Travelers Aid Station. They'll give you bus fare to town OR they'll make a call to a relative for funding to get you on your way.

I may sound cold, but actually I am a generous person to those who truly need it.