Pan handling in a parking lot what do you do?

Automatic Washer - The world's coolest Washing Machines, Dryers and Dishwashers

Help Support :

Giving money just makes them worse

We had stations do a report on this here too about 3 mo ago.. 1 guy had a new Hummer and lived in a house that rented for 3000 a mo.

Here if police see you handing them money you can be aressted and charged as if you were trying to pay a hooker. They are now also arresting panhandlers and charging them with indangerment to drivers, Dallas is doing close to the same thing. But still has had little effect on any given day in a certain area there are at least 10 or 12 in a3 block area.
 
If they approach me -

I just say nothing - If they persist , I`ll explode .

I work hard for my money .

Thats the problem nowdays - To much free giving.

If a person wants money then they need to work for it .

If a person is hungry then they need to work for the food.

I`m fed up with all this free giving when we have worked some damned hard for what we have.
 
That depends on my mood.....

Sometimes I'll hand over some change that's in my pocket, or a couple of dollars. However, most of the time I'll tell them, "no, sorry I don't have any extra money." I know times are hard and some people are in need. But they need to understand that the people they're asking money from, are probably hitting hard times themselves. I may have a couple of dollars in my pocket but sometimes that's ALL I'll have. When I was chauffeuring for a limo service years ago. I had to use one of the standard Town Cars to drive a workers comp. client to Sacramento from Fresno for a doctor appointment. I stopped at an AM/PM to get gas and a soda. A man came up and asked for a few dollars to get something to eat, and I gave it to him and he did use it for food. But then, as I was getting into the Town Car, another guy came up asking for money as well. And I told him sorry guy, I don't have anymore. He said, "Well you gave him some money, why not me?" But he said it with an attitude. So by this time I was getting a bit angry so I told him, "look dude, what do I look like, a f---ing ATM machine?? He actually acted like I was obligated to give him money as well. I sometimes get tired of being asked for money when I myself am having hard times. And these people have the nerve to get mad when you turn them down. SO it's getting to the point where I'll flat out tell them to get the (insert 4 letter word here) away from me and if they're hungry, then go to the Poverello House, where they give out free meals everyday. This other time I gave this guy like 50 cents in change, I then bought a pack of cigarettes which he then, asked me for one. I said "Sure, it'll cost you 50 cents" he turned around and walked away.
 
But my dad was totally different...

...he would GO OFF on people who came up begging for money, even to the point of balling up his hand into a fist making it look like he was about to swing. Yeah he has a temper lol. But there was one time, when I was getting some gas, and this was long before gas was even $1.50 a gallon here in CA. This woman was at the pump, had her 3 kids in the car, and asked me for like $5 worth of gas. She did look like she was pretty stressed, I was thinking she was probably on the run from an abusive husband or boyfriend, she had that kind of body language. All she asked for was $5 worth of gas, but I slid my card at the pump and filled it for her. She almost started crying she was so thankful. She showed me her drivers license and wanted to contact me to pay me back. I told her not to worry about it and she could thank me, by taking care of her kids, I winked at her, she smiled and drove off, still thanking me. That made me feel good, but the ones who say they need money for gas, not asking for gas, but money for gas, are the ones I ignore.
 
If people are in a situation to where they need money

From you Then they need to pay it back at least 150 percent.

Thats the way I see it.

Something is terribly wrong when someone asks you for money with no intentions of paying it back.
 
Those were a nuisance in South Louisiana too. My only fear was they'd pull a gun out and try to rob me or something. This was right after Katrina so who knows what kind of people were running the streets. Like a dimwit I gave, but I never went back to that gas station again. My only fear is that it could turn into a robbery.
 
Iwont hand any money out.
When I stop at the Shop N Save there are usually panhandlers standing outside of the store, it just so happens to be located right next to the projects. When prompted for money for food I usually yell at them and tell them I am already paying for their hom eand their food and I'm tired of supporting your lazy ass because you refuse to go to work.

This fall I made a quick stop at the liquor store on my way home from work, there was a couple standing there in the parking lot and asking people for money because their car broke down, I watched them pull in right after me in a nearly new Impala. When I was prompted for money I told them to piss off, I'm not giving you anything so you can go buy some booze, I also told them they should try somewhere different to scam people because no one will believe them in front of the liquor store.
 
If they have animals with them...

Whenever I get trial sizes of cat or dog food, I leave a few in the car. If I see someone who is toting a dog or a cat, I'll offer the animal some food, but I won't give money to the people.

I feel for the animal because they're used in a ploy where they are being used for their owner's benefit. Sometimes, the people are very happy to get something for the animal, otherwise they tacidly accept it because they're still hoping for money for them.

My default answer is no, not because I don't necessarily want to help someone, but because I don't want to be scammed or stolen from. I wouldn't expect anyone to help me if I got myself into a fix like that. A bit cynical, yes, but sometimes I'd rather be a healthy cynic than a hurt one.
 
If a person wants money then they need to work for it .

There have to be jobs in the first place. Low paying jobs are okay if they are easily accessible, but you can't reasonably expect a person to travel for hours for only a few bucks. What's the point going to work and spending more than half of your daily wages on fares, when you are only making a few bucks?

Globalization has transferred many low-skill jobs overseas. Where there were once plenty of opportunities for the least educated to make an honest living, there are now only handouts. The usual processes involved in getting a handout aren't empowering or sympathetic to individual's circumstances, but demeaning and undignified.

Then there are those people who should be kept out of the workforce. Not everyone is suitable to hold down employment and I'd rather have them get a fortnightly payment so they stay off the streets and don't impose on unsuspecting employers.

Whilst there are extremes at both ends of a given spectrum many situations fit somewhere inbetween. There is a lot of mental and other illness amongst the most destitute and they don't get help. Government programs designed to assist such people may be well intentioned, but are largely ineffective and cumbersome bureaucracies that usually line the pockets of paid stakeholders without effectively addressing the needs of those who really need help.

We are fortunate to live in wealthy countries where we have the capacity to act in a more civilized manner than many other places where Dickensian conditions still prevail. Every government scheme that makes money available will attract a certain number of mercenary and dishonest individuals. Though, when I hear people bitch about single mothers and other equally unfortunates draining the public purse, I can only shake my head in disbelief. The last couple of years have clearly demonstrated that it isn't the druggies, pan handlers and unmarried mothers who will waste our hard-earned money and drain the public purse. For that we have highly paid, 'reputable' and well-regarded professionals. It is easy to criticize and kick those around who are already powerless and have no means of defending themselves. Yet, time and again, we see ruthless and amoral individuals walk away from their actions, which hurt thousands of people, because they are well-connected and can afford expensive lawyers; and, worst of all, people seem to think that's okay.

This attitude of 'I'm doing alright, why aren't you' I find egocentric and indicative of a general disinterest in other folk's circumstances.

Hard work of itself is no guarantee for success. All of us who are doing well have to remember that it is a 50/50 split of making an effort and being in the right place at the right time (LUCK).

There is no equality and life doesn't play out on a level field. The vast majority of wealthy and successful people come from privileged backgrounds already and have all the necessary resources at their disposal to build on. Only the tiniest number of people will rise from relative poverty and obscurity to stellar hights. 90% of middle-class people live from paycheck to paycheck wiht no real economic security at all. Yet, the kind of (judgemental and uncharitable) attitudes that are reflected in many of the posts here emanate from this socio-economic group.

Please try to empathise and understand that evey bum on the street has a story. Many of them didn't start off like that, nor are they necessarily uneducated. They often have problems that can not be fixed via the 'one size fits all' approach that is formulated by people with little insight or genuine interest in their circumstances.

In my humble opinion the hallmark of a sophisticated civilization isn't defined by its economic and military prowess, technological advances or amazing architecture alone. The way people treat and care for each other is a far better indicator of sophistcation and progress. Access to resources and opportunities are a great determinant for that as well. Giving handouts and browbeating people from a great height isn't.

Jesus didn't hang around the Bill Gateses and Britney Spears of his time. He kept company with bums, lepers and prostitutes. All the types of people that respectable citizens wouldn't even urinate on if they were lying in a ditch. I may be an atheis, but I understand the underlying principles behind that.

Now, I am not writing this to brow-beat anyone. Everyone is entitled to interprete their own experiences and react to situations individually. Sometimes people don't react to an act of kindness in a way that would be seen as appropriate or reasonable. Other people's lives and the way they see the world can be so different to our own, that we are left scratching our heads in disbelief. Though, it is always good to remember that it could be us. The lives that we live are very fragile and we are only ever a hair's breadth away from destitution ourselves.

I take absolutely nothing for granted and appreciate every moment of the privileged and comfortable life that I am allowed to lead.

Regards

Olav
 
Once upon a time I had what could have been a very dangerous panhandling experience.

It was night - about 10 pm, as I recall. Quite dark. I had pulled up on my motorcycle at the ATM at my local bank. I had just finished withdrawing my money when this young guy came up with the usual sob story about how his car had run out of gas, could I spare him $5? I asked to see the car. He led me into an even darker parking lot. At the time I wasn't too scared because he wasn't much bigger than me, and I still had my full face helmet on, with a thick leather jacket, boots, etc. We came up to the car and I asked him to open it for me. He just stared at me, and gave some lame excuse I can't recall. I flatly told him no way, I wasn't going to fall for his lies, and left somewhat cautiously lest he have some partner waiting to bop me over the head. Oh, yeah, I had the helmet on, no problem! I got on my bike as quickly as possible and went on my way home.

In retrospect I guess I was foolish to follow this guy into the dark, but fortunately nothing bad happened. Part of my reluctance to give him anything was that I only had $20 bills from the ATM on me. And I wasn't about to give anyone $20 for a lame story.

As for understanding the plight of the poor. Hey, I've been there. I grew up there. I was chipping in to help the family get by at the age of 7. I have NEVER asked anyone for a handout. If I couldn't afford something, I did without. Paid all my bills, never skipped out on rent or a meal or a fare. People who can't manage the same have no sense of pride, in my opinion, and that's not my problem.
 
I do not hand out money either. Just don't. I did by a lady a slice of pizza once. She did not ask for it. It was obvious she was STARVING so I just purchased an extra slice with a drink and gave it to her.
 
I think where you have to be more cautious is where the person asking for the money is dressed ok and or giving you a story about needing money for gas etc. That should send up red flags..

Now with the ones who truly look down and out on the corner etc..again.. don't give them money because you're only enabling. Tell them where a shelter is to get food etc and like I said before give your money or a food donation to the shelter or foodbank and it goes a lot further and feeds more people and ensures that people who really need food get it and it won't be used for drugs or booze.
 
People who can't manage the same have no sense of pride

You are right, it isn't your problem, it is theirs. Yet, ask yourself why they dont' have a sense of pride. That has to come from somewhere as well and isn't related exclusively to socio-economic circumstances either. It also depends on a person's level of intelligence, how well they are able rationalize their circumstances, who they are and ability to solve problems. You may be blessed with a superior mind that has helped you through tough situations from an early age, others are not as fortunate.

A former workmate travelled home late at night and pulled up to what appeared to be an accident/medical emergency. This was along a quiet suburban street where a person was lying on the side of the road next to a car, with another one flagging down my mate. He didn't immediately get out of his car to render help, but wound down his window half way. He only got as far as asking the other guy what the problem was and got stuck with a knife to his chest. He immediately gunned it with the other bloke still hanging off his window for a bit before he lost him. My mate made it to the nearest hospital, bleeding profusely and he was lucky that none of his vital organs were damaged. He still bears a nice scar, which he now uses to woo chicks - the police never caught anyone over this incident either.

As a rule I don't use ATMs late at night, it's simply too risky. I wouldn't have done what you did and walked to the car with that man. Had that been me I would have offered to call road side assistance or, maybe, given him a couple of bucks and skedaddled out of there. That was a very creepy experience you had there.
 
Lot of anger in these last few responses. Get a job? The effective unemployment rate in Michigan is hovering in the mid 20% range. I have no idea is I was being scammed, but $2.00 is not going to break me. 90% of the time I say no, and other I say yes as i did the other day. Even if the odds were great I was taken, on the small chance the woman was telling the truth, it was a little help.

I guess it comes down to what kind of world you want to live in. I choose not to live in one where I suspect everyone of trying to pull one over on me. If I get taken for a few bucks now and then so be it.
 
I choose not to live in one where I suspect everyone of tryi

I try not to either. Lets face it, the ones doing most of the 'pulling' and 'pushing' don't panhandle.
 
Level of intelligence.....

It also depends on a person's level of intelligence, how well they are able rationalize their circumstances, who they are and ability to solve problems. You may be blessed with a superior mind that has helped you through tough situations from an early age, others are not as fortunate.

Good point and very well said,Olav. Ironic....many(not ALL) people who "think" they are smart can not figure that out. They think everyone is the same,like them and should have a job,like them.
 
The last few that have approached me involved kids in the subject.
From selling school candy bars to starving kids.
When I tell them that I don't carry cash or change, they get very aggressive. Big time aggressive.
This has been a problem in the Atlanta area.
I just get away as fast as I can. In fact, I don't even talk to them any longer. I play like I don't speak English. Laugh all you want...try it...it works.
Brent
 

Latest posts

Back
Top