Parential Responsibility

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There I was at the mall, using the recycling "facilites" after the food court.

Father says to young son: "No that's OK, you dont need to wash your hands" right after they had come out of a stall.

You know, it's one thing to avoid teaching a child anything of importance, social graces, etc. It is quite another to thing to WORK ON and guide them into being the bottom of the barrel.
 
Well we know from the drivers post on the BMW forum that he had already had it up to 160mph and was asking how to get it to upshift smoother at those speeds.
Another thing, he was warned by another poster on that forum that the M5 can easily get away from you if you are not careful. He obviously didn't take the hint.

Ross, I am so sorry to hear about what happened within your family.

Another thing about kids today. In the job market kids these days are all about themselves. If they hire on with a company and later see something/told something they don't like they leave. Usually it's with a comment like "You're not the only game in town". It's becoming a real problem. I have read several articles about how companies are trying to deal with them and this newfound "attitude".
 
If I had teenagers, I might do as my Aunt Margaret did with her children. They lived in a residential part of Kansas City, with all the schools and shopping nearby. All the time she was raising kids, the family NEVER owned a car. Uncle Glenn took a bus to work and the kids knew the bus systems and could walk and bike everywhere. Margaret had a cart for groceries (she had to shop every day). Meanwhile, the family saved so much money without a car that they could pay their mortgage and some of the college debt free. Might be something to consider if you live in a city with all a family would need. The kids did have driver's training and licenses, the family just did not own a car.
 
Here's how I see it

While I do agree that our minds in our teens are not fully "mature," I think that teens have a feel of "invincibility," that all those speed crashes, it won't happen to us. Also, take into consideration of "The Fast and the Furious" and how it glamorized street racing, not to mention those ugly ass 2 foot neon spoilers on Civics.

Lindbergh Blvd in South St. Louis County is still to this day a street racing "drag strip" and I don't know how many times in high school I saw on the Channel 5 news reckless driving killing a student at Lindbergh, Oakville, Vianney, or Mehlville.
 
RESPECTFULLY

panthera wrote: "Regarding all the comments about teenagers being more reckless today than we were...like hell they are. Every single generation has said that about the younger generations for thousands of years. Were it true, civilization would lie in ruins. I think we 'conveniently' forget our youth. Come on folks, 'kids' today are no better or worse than we were. Sheesh."

Sorry Panthera, and no disrespect intended, but it's attitudes like this that foster the way things are today. In plain and simple English, that's B**LS**T. When the hell did we ever worry about having a fellow student bring a F***ING gun to school to blow us away? Did you have metal detectors at your doors or security guards monitoring your halls???? If you're over 30, I doubt it.

The degree to which we got away with stuff is nowhere near what's happening today. It's escalated exponentially (pushing a kid around, then, vs. blowing him away, now). I see high school kids every school day, and I thank God I'm not raising a kid today. Parents taking the easy way out by appeasing kids are in the majority. Parents giving a "slap on the hand" ("Mary, you know that's wrong, don't you? Well good. Don't do it again. Good girl.") and not giving consequences are in the majority. Parents not spending enough time with their kids (training them, instilling values) are in the majority.

I think you get what I mean. Many parents have taken the easy way out at the expense of their kids, and every person their kids come into contact with, including innocent motorists on the same road with these kids. There's always someone else to blame... guidance counselors, TV, a "bad kid" at school, et cetera ad nauseum. Just for the three I noted, in order, meet with the guidance counselor and find out what's going on (you might have to miss a little work, but this is YOUR KID), monitor what they watch on TV (manually or via V-chip), and forbid them (and MEAN IT) from hanging around with that "bad kid."

Damnit. Take responsibility for YOUR kids. You had them, and they're YOU'RE responsibility. Ground 'em. Take away their cell phones or IPods. Make them stay in their rooms studying (ONLY after removing the power packs from the laptop, game system and TV).

And if any answer includes, "Well, I can't take off time from work because we have to pay the bills," do what you need to do to lower the bills:

-nix movie channel packages on cable

-buy good-looking but [gasp] non-designer clothes

-cut the text plans and unlimited calls plans from the kid's cell phones [they pay for any overages]

-Don't buy a wide-screen LCD or Plasma TV

-have them work for allowances (you don't have to pay a service to do the work) and get part-time jobs when able

-MOVE INTO A HOUSE YOU CAN ACTUALLY AFFORD

This is a generation of some of the most self-centered, selfish, rude, disrespectful, ENTITLED children and young adults that we've ever seen. Every child is raised that they are entitled to be a winner. This has fostered a junior society of whiners! Remember when you had to try out for a teams to make it? And if you weren't good, you didn't play? Tell us what happens now, parents of the 2000's! Everyone gets to play. Everyone gets a trophy or certificate for something. What it tells kids is that there are no losers and everyone's a winner! Just wait until they get into the real world.

I gotta get off the soapbox... I'm getting a nosebleed. Probably where the aneurism is coming from!

Chuck
 
WHOA!!!

Chuck man YOU GO BOY!!!

You said alot of what I feel.
And you're right too.

I graduated high school in 1982. Stuff like Columnbine was not even comprehensible back then.
Unthinkable.
I don't remember any classmates having mega expensive cars either. I remember paying $1800 for a 1976 Mercury Montego in the fall of 1981. The car was 5 years old, and it felt like I had just gotten a Mercedes!

Your comment about people not being responsible today is dead on. Nobody wants to take ownership for their actions, unless of course it will bring them glory. If its bad, forget it, someone else's fault.
I fear its only going to get worse.
 
Hell....

My first car was a 12 year old, beat up Opel station wagon with no air conditioning, radio or carpets. I had to get a car loan (dad co-signed) with $50 a month payments AND......the kicker is that my family OWNED THE CAR DEALERSHIP!!!

My paernts believed in learning the harsh realities of the world and earning my own!!! THANK YOU mom and dad!!!

Rich
 
Same here...

I still remember the date! February 20, 1981---the day I got my drivers license.
My parent's cars at the time were a 1978 4-door Buick Electra Park Avenue(mom's car) and my dad's car was a 2-door 1980 Buick Regal.
Mom's car was always off limits, that was the *good* car for trips and church, and mom's once a week trip to the beauty shop and grocery store.
Dad's car was not all that available either. I was told pretty much from day one that if I wanted to drive I had to buy my own car and pay for my own insurance. So I did.
I had been working for over two years prior to driving. I had the $$$ saved to buy the car, and for the insurance...and for all the repairs that car needed too!!

Thanks to my parents too!
 
To use the car, I had to pay the difference in the insurance, and make sure I contrubuted to the gas. I also had to do oil changes and help with the other upkeep with training from my father.

R-E-S-P-O-N-S-I-B-I-L-I-T-Y!!!

Chuck
 
Perc:

"The degree to which we got away with stuff is nowhere near what's happening today. It's escalated exponentially (pushing a kid around, then, vs. blowing him away, now)."

I think you just said it all.

At some point, I think we're going to need a "Parental Responsibility Act". Something to the effect of, "You had 'em- you're responsible for what they do until they're of age."

If and when we ever get such laws, I will have no sympathy whatsoever for any parent who loses their job, house, savings or personal liberty over the actions of a kid who should have been watched closely and raised properly, but wasn't. When things reach the point of teens beating up homeless people for sport- and they have reached that point- it's time for laws that put the responsibility where it really lies- with parents who put a child into the world, without thinking through the responsibilities and issues that go with raising one successfully.

Kids have always been unruly, rebellious, and heedless- I was myself. But dangerous is a new twist.
 
The plain truth is------

even a relatively inexpensive and innocent looking little Mazda3 will do 140MPH! Most adults don't know that, but the teens sure do!
Of course, the Mazda won't handle like a BMW at those (or any other) speeds.

Its all relative folks. Old or young, rich or poor,etc.,etc., when its your time you are 'outta here. Makes no difference what takes you out----you are still gone.
 
when its your time you are 'outta here. Makes no differ

Agreed BUT why take someone else with them! Think about it before making such a cavalier statement. That someone else could be YOU or someone that you love dearly!!!!

We're not talking about fate we are talking about responsibilty.

Rich
 
when its your time you are 'outta here.

Nope, sorry I don't accept that one bit.

With that principle applied to those kids, you're saying they were born and followed a path that just led to that BMW and their deaths?
And poor Natalee Holloway, she was born and lived her life, following a path that led her to Aruba and her disappearance?

No way...thats pre-destination, and I do not accept it. Those kids died because they made BAD CHOICES, not because it was their time. Same with Natalee, she's gone because she crossed paths with the wrong person(s), not because it was her time.
 
I have a similar situation to this looming within my own family. My sister's (yes the one with the strange behaviour) brother-in-law was married for 8 years and had two daughters. Then one morning he "woke up gay" and left his wife and kids for a drag queen. He maintained contact with his kids and gave them everything they wanted at all times. He calls it his "guilt trip". His kids are now 19 and 16.
The 19 year old is alright, not too many problems, but the 16 year old is a holy terror. Before she turned 16 she said demanded that Daddy buy her a Mercedes Benz for her 16th birthday. He reasoning is that if Daddy can afford one for himself, then he can afford one for her. When Daddy said no, she said she'd kill herself. Well she didn't get a Mercedes, she got a Lexus instead. BTW, when she was 14 she didn't get what she wanted and broke out all the glass doors in the kitchen cabinets while Daddy & DQ were out.
I discussed this crash with my sister and told her that I imagine that she has an almost identical situation on her hands. I just know that lil' B---- is going to wrap that Lexus around a tree. My sister said that "It's not my kid, I can't say anything".
This family has tried counseling, but Daddy thinks it hasn't been effective. I think the kid should be carried off to a mental health center for evaluation.
One thing I find peculiar is that in my somewhat limited knowledge of the gay community, people just don't "wake up gay". I have heard a lot of guys knew they were gay at an early age. If someone knows they are gay, why in the world would they get married to a woman and have kids?
Not to sound harsh, but I think the problem goes back to the beginning. If he had not gotten married in the first place, he wouldn't be finding himself in this situation today.
What is the general feeling within the gay community about gays who get married and have kids?
 
uh oh...

Whirl, you are opening a can of worms with the gay/straight thing!!

I have two words for this 16 year old terror: MILITARY SCHOOL. Certainly if daddy can afford a Mercedes, he can afford to send his little cherub someplace where she can learn some respect and manners.
If she's this bad at 16, what will she be like at 21?

Maybe its time too for daddy to stop with the guilt and start being a father. If he can wake up gay one morning there is hope this meat-stick can wake up a good father too.

The killing herself thing makes me chuckle, I remember my sister and my mom having an argument over something...we were high school age, and I remember my sister saying if she didn't get her way she'd kill herself. My mother didn't blink. She went to the drawer and pulled out a butter knife and placed it on the table in front of my sister saying: "Here, Kill yourself. Sorry we don't own a gun, and you can't use my good knives...now go ahead and do it fast while you still know everything and don't mess up my house doing it."
Yesterday(Feb 4th) my sister turned 42.
I was raised by awesome people.
 
I was a bit worried about being flamed about this one, but since I am asking about this from a uninformed point of view I was hoping that those in the know would be helpful.
By the way Jeff, this is all taking place just up the road from you in Barrington.

And people wonder why I don't visit my relatives!
 
~What is the general feeling within the gay community about gays who get married and have kids?

Marry a man or marry a woman?
I'd say there are many, many opinions withn "the community" regarding this issue.
AFAIK, We have not been able to unify on this one and post it to our official "agenda". *LOL

Having a baby:
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their seed, then have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely.A nurse comes by, and to the gays' delight, she points out the happy child as theirs.
"Isn't it wonderful?" Neil says to Bob. "All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy." The nurse says, "He's happy now, but just wait until we take the pacifier out of his butt."

*LOL*
 

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