The perfect crime...

[superelectronic]

Hello folks - after some deliberation I am risking a post. Firstly, however, a huge thanks to all you contributors out there who have added a certain sparkle to the last six months for me. I stumbled across the site looking for a spare part and it has been a complete joy to see some of my old favourites and wallow in a passion that has stayed underground for some years! A true mine of information and more than a little entertaining at times!

Anyway, getting down to business, I am looking to commit the perfect crime...a sabotage so cunning that no repairman will ever know the difference! Downstairs in the kitchen sits my nemesis, the Drearyline 850 front loading washer (actually it goes by another brand name beginning with P but bearing in mind how I found this site, I don't want anyone typing it into a search engine and uncovering the deed). Sadly, thanks to the high cost of London living and my relative youth, just buying another is out of the question since I am a tenant and the landlords are of the generation who make things last. A frivolous replacement would definitely raise eyebrows and issues of who would look after it etc...So my question is, how the hell do I get rid of this damned machine in a seemingly "normal" way?

I have tried the following:

Washing a feather duvet (think bearing strain - in a previous machine a terrible crunching ensued leading me to abort programme) - no joy, just clean duvet...

"Accidental" door snappage - nearly worked as there was trouble getting parts and I thought I was onto a winner until the landlord tried calling an old number in the handbook. Ho hum.

Bit scared to try spinning a 50p piece in case it goes too far and damages kitchen.

Spinning a brick might be hard to explain.

Introducing the motor/timer/electrics to a refreshing beverage might lead to a fire and/or my death.

So has anyone got any ideas, or should I just live with the pantomime of only Cottons programmes being usable (everything else is too gentle), the dreary whiney noise, stupid timed fill on rinses followed by immediate drain (what a waste of all that water) and a useless fabric conditioner compartment, not to mention the excessive 120l for a normal wash?

I suppose it has reliability on its side (13 years) and those of you who like a bit of deep water action might covet the water-half-way-up-the-door rinse/spin performance.

I do look forward to any input and am prepared for repremands for contemplating such a devious and underhand escapade.

Al

 

[dj-gabriele]

Put in that 50p coin and a nail and you're done... or you could simply get the pulley stuck and have the motor to burn while trying to wash...
Guaranteed 100% success :-D

 

[toggleswitch]

Welcome to the site BTW!

You assume, dear sir, that it will indeed be replaced.
A piece of plywood and four screws can easily close the gap in the cabinetry when the old sabotaged one is kicked to the curb.

If memory serves, the last time someone attempted to get devious advice, the thread backfired!

YouTube has videos as to how to steal services from coin-operated machines. Perhaps it has some videos that may work for you.

 

[superelectronic]

Well that's food for thought.

DJ Gabriele - sounds like the coin/nail would be viable and suitably destructive. I bet if I tried jamming the pulley the motor cut out would just come into play. It already cuts out on full loads trying to tumble clockwise - just momentarily then there's a timer click and another attempt. Quite annoying really!

Toggleswitch - thanks for the welcome. When you say a similar thread backfired, who or what suffered the damage? Was the member blackballed for considering such an underhand practice? I should hate to become persona non grata on my first outing! May I assure readers that this is not typical of my character and ordinarily I would just have trotted down to the shops and acquired a replacement. It's just that the landlords live next door and we're quite friendly, and I'm reluctant to have my motives questioned in replacing a working machine and risk embarrassment - if they lived miles away I could just say I had some sort of accident with it and felt compelled to replace as it was my fault. A tricky situation caused by my lack of courage all in all.

I think I'll make do in the meantime before cracking open Pandora's box, relying on Discuss-o-mat and associated videos to take the edge off my washday blues (I have found Restored Hotpoint 1-4 on YouTube courtesy on of one of the AW.org members very soothing). If anyone does have any more mischievous suggestions, however, it might be amusing to impart some wisdom just in case there's a particularly bleak point in the future when I can justify bad behaviour!

I will now scuttle back to my dark corner and attempt to dream up a more wholesome thread.

Cheerio!

Al

 

[toggleswitch]

Not to worry!
Your reputation is still unblemished, IMHO!

Some of the mothers (and fathers too) became a bit "scoldy".

 

[peterh770]

Be thankful you have a washer or you may end up dragging your stuff to a launderette, which you could do anyway.

 

[destroyer]

Depends how subtle you want to be..... what about turning the timer knob round really fast for a few minutes (a favourite past time of young children not realising it will break the machine) while the machine is switched on. Surely that will bugger it up.

 

[lavamat78800]

I think a unbalanced spin is perfect to make a washer go broken.
How about a piece of wood?

 

[foraloysius]

~brand name beginning with P

Hmmm, are we talking Philips here?

If so you're in dangerous water mister!! LOL

I love Philips appliances!

BTW, welcome to the club.

Louis

 

[retro-man]

another way maybe

Well if the machine is still functioning, but not to your satisfaction or choice, I would suggest speaking with him and explain your feelings and you would like to replace the machine with another that you will purchase and install, keep the other one stored, so that when you move you take yours and put the other one back in its place. He may go along with this and you have your choice of your replacement, new or used he gets to keep his. This may open a line of communication with him that he may himself replace the unit. You never know how people can be. Just an idea. Plus I just hate to see a machine destroyed.
Jon

 

[superelectronic]

Hi all - thanks for the input!

1) Peter H770 - yes I could go to the launderette if I get too bored (though £3 v free washing is a disincentive even though it's only 5 minutes' walk from the house). Good fallback plan anyway. And I am grateful for the convenience of a washer even if it's not programmed the way I'd like.

2) Destroyer - tried turing knob quickly whilst on but to no effect - this baby's unusually resillient!

3) Lavamat78800 - unbalanced spin - maybe the wood's a goer...I'll keep it in the arsenal of weapons just in case. My walking boot certainly didn't do the trick. Wonder if a nice single heavy pillow wash would have the desired effect...?

4) Foraloysius - it's not Philips - it's Proline (think I can risk mentioning it without the model number attached) which is kind of a non-brand available only through Comet stores in the UK; I think it's made by Blomberg. If it was a Philips I'd be dancing in the aisles with joy! I recall with much fondness the Philips 084 I used on holiday in 1995 - the spin rinse and ability to run programme 4 with fast spin straight through had me sold. I even tried to get my Mum to buy a Whirlpool (still Philips style then) in 1996 based on that experience when our first Hotpoint became too unreliable. The woman in the shop was impressed with my knowledge but said we'd have problems with it so we ended up with another Hotpoint (still going stong so not a bad thing).

5) Retro-man, you have the most sensible solution I think and in my more lucid moments have considered this possibility. Must resolve to work on my courage for 2008!

Thanks again!

Al

 

[xyz]

metal/rust filings in the wsh, and that shoulthe pump, then you can go deeper and clip awire on the motor windings and epoxy them back together making them look connceted but actually not

 

[seamusuk]

Any chance of a pic??

Some Proline machines were actually Philcos!!!

Seamus

 

[superelectronic]

Pictures

Hello Seamus - I'll happily take pictures but you'd have to send me a camera first! I keep my life very low tech on the whole 'cause I can't quite justify the expense to myself for what would be very low usage. Of course this does backfire when I have no record of chunks of my past or scrabble around for 30p for the payphone only to get an answering machine and lose the money...but it takes all sorts, eh?!

Anyway - I believe the machine to be manufactured by Blomberg as it shares some parts with their machines. Blomberg have some connection to Ocean and I think (but don't quote me) are now known as Brandt. It's very typically continental in style with a chlorine bleach dispenser (activates on cottons rinse 2 and 3), timed fill periods and a mechanical link from timer to dispenser to control the cold water flow. Synthetics cycles all run with delicate short tumble/long soak rhythm and someone has an interesting take on "delicates" - 60C White Nylon to we Brits[...that's funny...why is there no degree symbol on the keyboard...?]. I understand the motor brushes can also be found in Indesit machines. The front panel is removable. It doesn't say anywhere country of origin. I hope this info suffices for now in the absence of a picture.

It does have an intermittent fault I mentioned before whereby it struggles to agitate during wash and rinse, particularly going clockwise, though last night also anticlockwise with just half a load on a hot wash. It attempts to tumble, stops, pauses, timer clicks and tries to finish the agitation period. Any clues what's at fault there? It's very irritating. I'm guessing brush wear as it's usually clockwise that gives the problem even though there is no issue with spin in the same direction. Possibly doesn't like cold - sure it's more prevalent in the winter. A further oddity is the pump that cuts in and out regularly when draining/spinning - no reason why. And if you try tricking it to overfill using the timed fill portion (running two rinses together) it starts a fill/drain procedure at half full. I know it inside out and yet still somehow a mystery.

Despite the fact I called it my nemesis, I do have a grudging respect for its robustness - far as I know it's only had 2 heating elements since 1995 and otherwise built to survive the nuclear winter. There's definitely an air of the Eastern Bloc about it...!

Thanks again for the contributions.

Al