Theater Stories -- Attn Mrsalvo

[DADoES]

I didn't want to continue off-topic in your Blackstone thread.

[color=ff0000]WARNING -- WARNING -- ICKY ALERT[/color]

Can you top this one?

I wasn't on duty, but I heard about it later. Performance is over, clean-up crew rushes in to prep for the next show. One of them notices a woman down between a row of seats, goes over, intending to ask if assistance is needed (for locating a lost item, etc.).

Her pants are down.

She is taking a pee.

On the floor.

Apparently she didn't want to miss the end of the show, and then couldn't make it to the potty-room in time.

Then there was the time a woman chewed me out, because she had seen a preview for "Crocodile Dundee" in THIS theater, that said it started TODAY at THIS THEATER, and WHY ISN'T IT HERE? After I recovered, I remembered that there was never a preview run for "Crocodile Dundee." (The movie did play a couple weeks later.)

Or the time I got chewed out by a woman (ummm, seems to be a pattern) after a sell-out of something (one of the Batmans?). I asked her and the hubby to move over to get a couple more seats together for another group. They did move, but she ranted at me after the show that I totally ruined it for her.

Or the time one of the local maniac/delinquents (who should have been locked away in a cell somewhere) rammed his face into a wall for purpose of leaving a dent with his nose. (The dent is still there.)

Power failures. Films arriving late. Trying to keep customers IN the building who were trying to get OUT to their cars while pieces of fiberglass from the nursery next door were blowing by because a tornado was passing down the road.

I started in summer of 1978 (at age 15) as projectionist at the little one-screen in my home town, 2000' reels, carbon-arc lamps. That venue is still running, been in continuous operation for more than 50 years. They've upgraded, of course, to modern equipment.

 

[westytoploader]

OMG...I think a job like that would put me over the deep end!!!

As for the "crazy peeing woman story" You mentioned before that you had to "mop up puke" in the theatre. Any of those stories? LOL

 

[DADoES]

Puke Stories

Puke stories, oh sure.

[color=ff0000]WARNING -- MORE ICK[/color]

I've set the following in white text, which makes it invisible against the white background. Drag your mouse over it if you want to read the gory details.

[start here]
In the midst of retching in reaction to it, I got into the habit of trying to figure out what was the puke. Hamburger Helper or some such casserole-type thing once that I recall. Another was clearly a Sonic hamburger.

Some of the worst times were when the perp started spewing on the way to the restroom -- all the way from inside one of the auditoriums.
[end here]

Oh, and a correction on the theater in my home-town. It opened in 1941, so that's 64 years, come June 2005.

"Over the deep end?" Maybe that explains a lot about my mental condition.

DADoES
(who is giggling hysterically)

 

[toggleswitch]

She was doing what?

Here in New York City, We get used to lotsa interesting sights such as the homeless relieving themselves.

Nothing beats:

[read at your own risk!!]

1) Female between cars having a whiz. (I must say that is quite a balancing act.)

2) Male taking care of gender related activities and leaving behind an army of DNA soldiers on Macy's window. --Seriously no joke. (Remember from other threads, I used to work there.) I wonder what union regulations had to say about the person who was forced to clean that up!

3) The shoe dept I worked in was next to longerie (sp?). There was also another man who used to do the same thing against negligees.

4) Someone used to leave human sold waste in the fitting room across from shoes in the womens' dept. (It was tested to be sure it was not a gift from the security dogs that roamed at night.)

As of the date I had left, no one was caught for #3, and #4.

#2 was a live performace in the middle of the day!

 

[veg-o-matic]

Glenn--how could you tell it was a Sonic hamburger?

veg, who's also giggling

 

[stainfighter]

hospitality and entertainment professionals....

always get to see the darker side of people and the things they have no problem doing and give no thought to who will clean it up. Worked in hotels (as a Housekeeping Manager) for 10 years and before switching careers wifey and I decided to become Innkeepers in New Hope, PA. The way some people would abuse bathrooms never ceased to amaze us! We left the world of innkeeping after 12 months, 2 weeks and a day (true story)!

 

[jasonl]

Macy's Guy

Was he looking at male or female mannequins?

 

[DADoES]

Sonic Burger

By the odor.

 

[veg-o-matic]

Ewwww! That's like the second worst answer you could have given!

[size=-4]The worst would have been "by the taste"[/size]

veg, still giggling

 

[toggleswitch]

one gun salute

JasonL ...decidedly female mannequins.

Veg, easy killer... or i'm gonna need a "Depends!"

LOL ROFL LMAO

 

[toggleswitch]

after-thought

....LOL

Even Macy's (still) doesn't put lingerie on male mannequins.

LOL

 

[tolivac]

By trade I am a radioman-but have a strong interest in theaters.would even like to work in one if the pay was good-The job a projectionist does is somewhat similar to what I do at the transmitterr plant.Instead of projectors-I run transmitters that broadcast many program schedules on the shortwave band.I have a link below to a website that is a "theater chatroom" much like this one is on appliances.I suppose a projector is an "applaince" of sorts-mass entertainment.they have a thread somewhere about the gross things they encounter in their theaters.The stories I see here are like what is on the Film-Tech website.

http://www film-tech.com/

 

[petek]

One of my first summer jobs in hs was working as an usher in the early 70's. Movies at that time and theatres were getting pretty shabby unlike today but we had a lot of fun. We'd go up to the projectionists booth and bean people off the back of the head with popcorn kernel-drink straw pea shooters..lol. And when they complained it was too cold in the theatre we'd crank up the a/c even more. Or we'd sit behind the screen while the show was running and drink..could see right thru the screen at the audience but they couldn't see us..hahaha. Ah, happy memories of youth.

 

[westytoploader]

Other stories

Yikes!! How disgusting is that, having people spl***ing on the Macy's window and the dresses!

Those Sonic burgers are quite tasty, really...wonder why someone "lost" theirs? ;-)

Sometimes getting a little off-topic is necessary, especially when working on the latest "project"!

Westy (cackling...)

 

[retromom]

Oh my!

You guys have had me roaring! These are things that you know really happen, but are too gross to think about!

Ok theater employees, I have discovered what induces the "gag reflex" in moviegoers. It's the "buttered" popcorn. As big butter-lovers, Hayley and I asked for "extra" butter on our popcorn. It dripped out of the bag, left a big stain on my shorts (and who know where else), and immediately triggered the gag reflex in both of us. Popcorn was meant to be chewed, not slurped. I'll take my Nobel Prize for Science now, thank you.

 

[frigilux]

Alright, Venus, this is your second food reference this morning and I'm getting hungrier by the minute!! (I just left your potato reference in another thread....)

Theater popcorn 'butter' must be delicately balanced. One feels deprived without it, but too much and---you're right---gag reflex....and stained clothes, to boot!

 

[DADoES]

Buttering must be done carefully. There's a subtle point at which it becomes too much and drippage and sloshing results. Personally, I prefer without butter . . or butter-flavored-oil, as the case may be.

CUPS are better than BAGS for handling butter. Cups may soak through after a time, but they are less likely to DRIP from improperly sealed seams.

But I can tell you one thing . . . WET popcorn, soaked for hours in spilled soft drinks of various ilk, smells AWFUL.

 

[mrsalvo]

DADoEs,
I'm slow on the pick-up lately, Star Wars kicked my #*&, and
didn't realize this thread had been started. My bad. When I
walked out of the theatre last night to go home (home??) I
thought I could get a new job in an appliance store selling
washing machines and dishwashers....I could make the switch.
I am so fed up with people right at the moment I'd be happy
to put them out of their complaining/egotistical/ignorant
minds. It's been a LONG time since I've seen business this
heavy. I wasn't ready for it even though I made all the
preparations operations wise. Maybe its cuzz I'm getting older,
I don't know, but my PATIENCE IS growing thin with customers
that pees in the auditoriums, complains about the ice, couples
that have sex in public....good story.. I walked into an
auditorium late at night doing a security check and happened
upon a woman slouched down in her chair with her legs up.
A second or so later a man rises to his feet. Knowing the situation, I yelled "I wanna watch" before heading up the
stairs to their row. "Oh did you lose something." He cussed
me out right and left, I didn't care, they shouldn't have been
doing that to begin with, and threaten to "kick my &^%."
I came back with "What do you want me to do with the security
tape? I guess I could sell it." They hightailed it out fast.
Of course I didn't have a camera in there, but they didn't
know that. Happened about 4 months ago. Its always something
around here.
Tomorrow I have a day off, first one in two weeks. Woohoo.

PeteK, if you had done that in my theatre I would have skinned
you alive, believe me it would have hurt. Though I have turned
up the a/c a couple of times after a complaining customer
treated me like &^%$. But after I skinned you then I would
taught you the correct way and time to get even.

Concession delivery is here and I need to check the
cleanliness of the delivery truck so please excuse me for now.

Barry

 

[Dishyjohn]

Getting Even!

Loved all my summer jobs while a student, in shops call centers etc, people dont seem to realise just what power a shop assistant has, if there nice they got what they wanted, if they shout then they got nothing! ha ha ha Call center too, that was BAD, but you just hung up of the people you diddnt like he he he - im so naughty!

If you want gross stories, wll i worked in a clothes shop last summer, and on menswear, and beleive me, men were always exposing themselves, i had to work the fiting room, and one bloke used to pull back the curtain totally naked and ask for bigger jeans.

oh a not to you all ALWAYS wash your clothes you buy before wearing them, if you saw the state some of the stuf came back in or smelt the BO of some of the people trying on the stuff !!!!

When I was 18 I trained as an Optician, and used to have little booth in the opticians I worked in, one bloke came in for an eye test drunk, I turned to get a clipboard and when i came back he had unzipped and was peeing in my sink!!!!!! GROSE! He diddnt even attempt to HIDE himself!

 

[jasonl]

Drive-Ins

I had a great design for a 4-plex drive-in theater. Each screen showing a double feature with vintage intermission material in between. There would be one central projection/concession stand and 4 screens facing all around. Screen 1 would play G-PG family type shows and light comedy, Screen 2 would play PG-PG13 edgier comedy, drama, or chick flicks, Screen 3 would show PG-PG13 sci-fi/action/thriller and Screen 4 would show R horror/sci-fi/or action.

I wonder what screens would get the most business. The Milford DI here separates the family/light hearted films on screen 1 and the hard stuff on screen 2. Both screens get about the same size audience so it just might work.

 

[mrsalvo]

Drive-ins were hard work. That's how I started in this business
and while they were fun to attend, the work itself left alot
to be desired. I'll pass.

 

[toggleswitch]

what did you say?

Oh Lord forgive me for I am about to sin...

Quote: One feels deprived without it, but too much and---you're right---gag reflex....and stained clothes, to boot!

Who still has a gag reflex?

I couln't HELP myself you honor it was staring me

LOL ROLF LMAO

right in the face!

 

[toggleswitch]

Macy's Window

oh really is that disguisting? LOL

Try this:

Ex lost hard contact lens in subway station. It landed near a pillar. Proceeded to pick it up, put in mouth to lube it up and clean it, and into the eye it went.

I literally heaved just witnessing it that day.
How is this A@@h - - e not blind?

For all our suburban and rural friends: Any gross action or body function a person can do---is done by the pillars in a subway station.

All of the above funtions discussed included.

 

[Dishyjohn]

Oh yeha we all do that!

I wear hard lenses too and you can lick em and stick em! LoL

I met a woman at the opticians I worked in once that never in fact cleaned hers, she just took them out at night, and put them on her bed side cabnet, then woke up, put them in her mouth to clean them and into her eye! - Not sure id do that myself but her eyes were fine! LoL

Taking your drinks into the Urinals with you - now thats grose, and yet Ill be stood there lined up at the troughs at university with all the other young lads, chatting away and thell be peeing, talkign and drinking! Grose!

 

[toggleswitch]

Gross but necessary.

NEVER leave a drink un-attended, then get back to it!!

Gross? wait for this one...

1)Actually was invited to sit outside a bathroom stall while a young lady satisfied mother nature.... with a plate of cake on her lap and actually consumed it.

2) There is a magazine rack over the throne here at work. Do you actualy expect me to put that magazine in my bare lap after it has been on yours? EEEEEEWWWWW

3) Guy (bystander) caught girl making some guy happy with her mouth. Then bystander sees her proceed (just afterwards) to kiss a different guy!!!

 

[gansky1]

I used to work as a teller and later, teller supervisor at a branch of (now) Wells Fargo bank downtown. The drive-in was across the street from the bank building so the pneumatic tubes ran for a long distance. We had cameras on the cars in the lanes and since the tubes had to travel back and forth a long distance at a very busy drive-in, customers had lots of time to kill while waiting. We had couples doing all sorts of things with each other, prostitues would walk into the lanes to change their unmentionables, every bodily function you can imagine including some feminie hygiene product demonstrations - all on camera and recorded for eternity on tape. What was so amazing was that the tellers had cameras on them as well and there was a TV screen the customer could view the tellers working inside - right below that was a very obvious camera pointed directly into the vehicle (or lane) they were in. The funniest one was a local news anchorman with a girl's head (not his wife's however) in his lap for several minutes (these type of banking transactions took much longer for the teller to process) who, in later years ran for congress. I don't remember who had a copy of that tape (we kept a copy for the department) but it would certainly have come in very handy during the campaign! Turns out, he wasn't the 'big stud' he played himself to be ;-)

 

[Dishyjohnuk]

Stud?

Why, just how big a STUD was he then??

 

[toggleswitch]

What makes a man a man...

Maybe he needs to borrow your "Drink mixer/carbonator"

WINK WINK

--JUST KIDDING

 

[frigilux]

toggleswitch---Actually, the gag reflex quote started with Venus (retromom), so you'll have to ask her, LOL!

gansky---Great story about the bank drive-thru; I'm also amazed at what people will do in public. Doesn't everyone realize they're on video wherever they go, these days? The person who watches security video at work finally sought me out said she appreciates me waving hello at the camera every morning when I enter the building!

 

[jasonl]

I *HATE* those in-your-face cameras at bank drive-ins. It's one thing to have a security camera but I've seen some where the cam is mounted right on top of the tube machine about 1 foot away from you. It's called invasion of privacy. I'm not a terrorist, all I want to do is put money in the bank.