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lavamat_jon

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 9, 2004
Messages
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Location
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As all members are aware, these message boards are frequently visited by people of varying ages, including teenagers such as myself and even pre-teens. Therefore I really am beginning to feel that the increasing amount of sexual innuendo on this site is going a step too far, and it's now to the point where even I, at almost 18 years of age, am beginning to feel awkward about comments being made, and I'm sorry to say this but I am really beginning to feel uncomfortable about posting anything on this forum anymore in case it will get twisted and turned into some form of sexual innuendo.

We've all got to remember that these forums are public, available for the whole world to see. While that is good in terms of all the great information being posted here is accessible to anybody with an internet connection should needs be, it also means that any potential lurkers are able to see the amount of sexual innuendo which is beginning to be posted more and more frequently on the board. I am almost certain that a lot of these lurkers could be young pre-teens who have an interest in washers like we all did at that age, and the type of comments being made in this club recently could be enough for a parent to disallow a young child from joining, or God forbid a concerned parent going to the extent of reporting this site!

I am not saying that we should stop banter at all - in fact a banter is all part and parcel of how fun this community can be. It's just unfortunate that a lot of this banter is becoming of a sexual nature, and this really is the point at where it has to stop. I do not want to have to feel uncomfortable posting & reading these forums, especially as I have met so many great people off here. However I really do feel that should these comments and innuendo continue, I will seriously think of stopping my posts here.

Please all bear this in mind, I am sure the majority of you will 100% agree with me in that these sexual comments should be stopped once and for all.

Just my thoughts...

Jon :-/
 
Jon, all very good points. I must say that I'm embarrassed by my recent contributions to the issue. I've been involved with the club since its early days on Yahoo Groups, and lots of things have happened, it tends to go in cycles. There'll be an 'incident' and some people get upset and leave (some come back eventually, some don't) and the rest shape up, and then everyone gets comfortable with each other again and the environment gets a little loose again. In some ways that's a good thing, comfort and familiarity with each other. But it also causes a tendency to forget that this is a public space and that there are surely MANY people, of ALL ages, reading the board who don't post on it.
 
Enough Already

Jon, I'm beginning to feel the same way about posting something that may become "twisted" into a sexual innuendo and I'm glad you brought this up and posted it. In the beginning, it was funny to look at, but now it's getting old. I have a pretty high tolerance to crude humor, but not when it flashes constantly in front of me. Pure immaturity, plain and simple.

This site is a VERY fun site in my opinion (one of the best out there) and wouldn't be the same without jokes, but we also need to realize that we can be funny without making references to body parts all of the time! Reading the Archives, it seems Applianceville had this same problem in 2003. Interesting how it cycles back around again the same way...

I know that our senses of humor vary quite a bit, but seriously, time to stop.

--Austin
 
I agree too, some people don't really need to know about certain things, but we should still make jokes, just not about winky winky stuff. This fourm is cool, awesome and interesting, but it shouldn't be nessesary to talk about winky winky stuff.

Ugggh I really need to get this spaghetti sauce out, anyone willing to give me a frontloader so I dont have to get a new shirt?
xP
 
Jon,
Sorry that you felt uncomfortable on the club.
I do want to tell you that I respect you for being brave, and posting your feelings here.
Your insight, and bringing us to your part of the world, and washers are always so fun to me.
I am sure that there are many club memembers here that feel like me. And that is...we would not want to loose you!
I am glad that you felt comfortable enough to post your feelings. I am glad to see that many club members support you thus far.
Take care!
Brent
 
another opinion....

When this sort of thing comes up, as it has from time to time here and in another club I belong to, it makes me want to walk fast in the other direction and never come back, though probably not for the same reasons as others.

Instead of doing that at least initially, however, I'll look on this thread as an opportunity for whomever so desires to participate to have a frank and intelligent discussion, and see what ideas there are to come up with.

I will say I'm glad that it happened to be Jon who started the thread, and that thus far "both teams" are represented in the conversation, including a number of people whom I like, respect, consider friends and/or all of the above.

I think I have identified in my mind some of the things being referred to, and I guess I'd be interested to hear perhaps in general terms what folks might find acceptable or what they might not, and any other ideas they might have to make this the best place it can be for all of us.

In my mind, the key would be to work together to find a balance, and make sure things are handled fairly uniformly for us all. As the club has expanded in size, so has its diversity and demographics. That said, there is (and likely always will be) a majority here that is a departure from that of the world at large, and one that must be tolerated and respected, if for no other reason than (like it or not) we were here first.

What I'm saying is, if we want to set some standards for ourselves as a group and what we want our image to be to the world at large, and do so uniformly and for the good of all, I'm cool with that and I'm willing to talk, listen, share ideas and participate to that end.

I want no one here to leave, and I want to see whoever wants to be here to be able to be here and feel good about that. But, I do have to state, clearly and unequivocally, that this cannot be a "gay" thing, it has to be an "everybody" thing, and I will need assurance from others that this is the intent. Because if it is a gay thing, then I'm not cool with it, and like Jon I'd have to consider carefully whether I'd wish to continue being here for my own set of reasons.
 
I think that...

Jon might be calling for discretion, and no more than that. I have no problem with being discreet and (usually) tasteful.

I try to post sensibly, but there are times.

Lawrence/Maytagbear
 
The line between camp and innuendo...

is a fine one. Technical and workmanship appreciations aside, part of the fun of vintage appliances is that so many of them, and the advertising that went along with them, is so campy: Manicured housewives smiling through a washday, fabulous lights and push-buttons. catchy jingles and names for features, etc.

Campiness can sometimes lead to a "cabaret atmosphere" which is not appropriate in certain circumstances, and this is probably one of them.

So I'd say that campiness is fine, but blue humor (which is an art all its own) is best kept to more private conversations, which is a good rule of thumb for just about every social situation.
 
Thanks to everyone who has spoken up about this. I don't consider myself a prude but have been a bit disappointed at what some of the threads have woven themselves into. I have wanted to share this forum with some of my friends but certain postings have kept me from doing so. I agree with Scott that this forum should be about appliance collectors and enthusiasts and should not center around sexual orientation.

Thanks Jon for opening the door on this.
 
I totally agree with everyone. I don't post often, I come on and read every day. Usually when threads get a little off-colored, I smile and continue. But, I can see where someone else could get offended.

One of the things I love about this site is it's diversity, and the way everyone respects everyone no matter what. "God does not create junk", so therefore we should all respect one another.

I am a straight(I've been called a "metro-sexual"), married, Episcopalian, liberal. Nothing here has ever offended me. Because I know that no member would ever intentially hurt another member. When feathers do get ruffled, the offender quickly apologizes, the offendee accepts and we are all cool again. But, as we have more young members (that is so cool!), we probably need to at least keep it to a PG rating.

Just my 2 cents.
 
While I was trying to avoid this thread all day, I think there needs clarification here and I need to be blunt. I don't think it is ever appropriate to make sexual comments and innuendos here, but I realize that it’s going to happen on occasion, that’s just part of being human, but it should be rather rare. While I too have been wincing a lot recently at the "sexual" nature of some of the jokes on here, those of you who would like it to be as clean as a fresh snowfall in Ozzie and Harriet's front yard better get some thicker skin because the world isn't like that.

Now with that said there is a HUGE - read HUGE difference between talking about sex and talking about someone’s sexual orientation and I personally take offense at anyone who blurs the two. Being straight is a lot more than just about sex, the same goes for being gay. There is absolutely no reason why someone who is straight shouldn't be able to talk about their wife finding them a vintage appliance or someone who is gay talking about their husband spilling detergent all over the machine and just leaving it there. Of course there are going to be a lot of things posted that just sound "gay", not sexual, but just something that someone who is a member of the Gay and Lesbian community might say. Sort of like Dan said above "campy". That's wonderful, we love it! That's who we are but again it usually has nothing to do with sex. I don't mind the occasional political discussions as long as they stay in the Super forum, but what goes on in the bedroom is not appropriate for here. God knows there are a lot of other web sites for that.

If I read it and it goes far over the line I usually delete it, but by now most of you can tell that I don't read everything. So again, if someone goes over the line email me and I will make the final decision on whether it stays or whether I delete it. I haven't deleted much in the past, but I certainly have when I felt it was extremely inappropriate. But please don't just email me the post #; email me the forum name (Imperial, Deluxe, Super), the thread# and post# so I can find it quickly.
 
OK guys. I dont post on here very much, but I wanted to thank Jon for bringing up this subject. I agree that this is a public forum and discretion is necessary: however, the occasional "off the wall" remark isnt all that bad. I personally have a very sick and twisted mind (ask Jon), BUT in a public forum it is kept to myself and if necesary carried over to a private chat or an email. I love to be perverted as much as anyone else, but there is mixed orientation here, as well male/female, and under aged kids. I love this site, I find it very fascinating, even though I dont collect or post much. Maybe just a little tact is in order.......;)
 
My Apologies

I would like to extend my apologies too as well. Being fairly new, I was not aware of how young some of the member were on this site. I wish this site had been around when I was there age. Please forgive me if I have offend anyone.

Joe Jamman_98
 
Sugesstion?

I didn't want to butt in on this conversation but I have a gentle suggestion.

How about a "hidden" forum or one that would be a small button within the "super" forum which will be for the naughty conversations. Or maybe one that has a disclaimer that says, "We talk naughty in here, click Exit if that makes you uncomfortable". I don't want it look like an adult site but that's my only idea to make the rest of the Super forum a little more family/kid friendly.
 
People tend to get a little "loose-tongued" when anonymously posting on the Internet. I suggest we all type the same way we would talk if face to face with people in a public setting.

I.E. ... Like at a family reunion or neighborhood picnic one would speak comfortably about life circumstances, spouses, jobs, agitators, sports, friends, computers, washing machines, children, detergents, etc....but not describe or suggest sexual acts or anatotomy... str8 or gay. We can always email each other privately for that stuff.

We can all be ourselves and also be considerate and tactful.
 
Jon, it's good you're being up front about your feelings here.

One of the things I appreciate about this place is the fact that folks here don't cuss and don't use explicit language, either sexual or violent. The lack of violence is equally or more important to me personally.

I'd say a mild PG is OK. Talk about husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, your kids, cousins, parents, or pets; the usual goofy family stuff, OK. Talk about "I love (him/her) very much...", OK. Mild-PG-rated remarks along the lines of "wish you were here," or "gee, you two look so cute together," OK, as long as it's suitable for the living room, the laundry room, or the kitchen for that matter.

Though, I'll go with Jason's suggestion for a discrete button that goes into an area where "strong PG" is acceptable. (Heck I'd probably go there occasionally myself.) But that should still stick to strong PG at most, and not go over into R, and definitely avoid X.

If someone does an apparently accidental double-meaning when describing appliances or equipment, treat it like the adult jokes in old Warner Bros. cartoons and don't bother explaining it to the rest of the audience.

As for cusswords, there are far more creative expletives that are more fun to use and even fun to read. I just learned a new one tonight: "Foo!" as in "Foo, that place is infested with (Republicans, Democrats, or whatever)!."

There's something nice about the culture of mid-20th-century manners here, and it's definitely worth preserving.
 
Political stuff too

The political/anti-political stuff should go in this strong-PG room as well. I, being a straight, conversative Christian sometimes get offended when there's some anti-republican, or anti-Bush speech on here. I don't rag on liberals/democrats here online and I shouldn't feel uncomfortable about posts against my beliefs. Or possibly that could be another hidden forum.

yes, we all have freedom to speak our minds here. That's the first amendment but it shouldn't be used to abuse others.

So the Super forum should be like rated PG like example:

"Wow, that girl/guy is hot!"

And the hidden one should be like (just an example):

"Oh man, I'd like to toggle his switch"

See, that is funny in a twisted way, but in its appropriate forum.

I think the Beauty contests should go on this hidden forum, but PG only.

My 2p.

BTW, let's have an ugly contest so I can post a pic.
 
Better yet, why don't we post on this forum as if we're talking to one another at the Convention!

Jason, very good point. While there's nothing wrong with a little political discussion and everyone should be able to speak their mind, I too get mildly annoyed when someone starts making fun of Bush on here.
 
I say no to political correctness

I have no problem with not expressing my views on politics and religion (Irish Catholic Liberal Democrat, btw) in this forum, but I don't think we need to make it an official policy. People on both sides of the aisle need to be able to take an occassional political joke. Politicians are just humans after all - they aren't gods or heroes.

We all want to set a good example for the younger people: Being able to interact civilly with grace, appropriate humor, and a minimum of rules is the best possible way to do that.

I trust our Webmaster to be able to arbitrate any disputes fairly, and keep a tidy house. He's done a great job thus far.
 
Stroke of the Obvious

Golittlesport in his post #78017 summed it up quite nicely IMO!
Regarding religious & political affiliations there is enough good and bad material to go around........so sometimes we may feel aligned with a comment-sentiment and at others perhaps not. Thats life.

Sidebar:

While being interviewed in front of his Crawford Texas ranch on the evening news, President Bush was wearing the exact same Dockers short sleeve shirt with button-down collar that I have. He shops a J.C. Penney too.
 
There's also the chat room if anybody wants to have a discussion . . . but of course it's real-time, you can't say something in chat and have somebody go in and see it later.
 
Like I said...

I didn't say cut it out, I suggested that if this rated PG-13 forums was to be created, that's where it would go.

Thankfully, political/religious stuff doesn't get alot of airtime here so it's not much of an issue.
 
Jon,
I would like to say thanks. I was curius about the link and am very thankful that this subject was brought up. At 15 i am also getting worried that my comments will be twisted
 
A thread to ponder.

First off, I apologize for not reading this thread sooner. Jon, to you and the others who have indicated discomfort, I apologize for any post of mine that contributed to that discomfort. And I sincerely mean that. If any of my posts hitherto have been a part of that, by all means, notify Robert to delete those posts.

I've learned a lot in the time I've been here, and it's helped me to enjoy my hobby even more -- and I don't have much to offer back to the site in return.

I'll make doubly sure to review my posts, and keep it strictly to the interests of vintage appliances. I'm sorry you have been made to feel uncomfortable.

John
 
hardened

Wow, I guess my hide must have toughened, becaue I really hadn't noticed an increase in off color jokes, political discussions, or winky-winky type things. Heavey-Duty things have gone down in the past, but it's seemed to be pretty calm to me lately.
 
When I was a "young-in", my Father used to say all the time: "You can go with the crowd, but you don't have to follow the crowd". I live by it until this day at 43yo.

When I joined this awsome pictorial and discussion site, I was amazed of how well mannered and clean it was. I love it still.

Thanks to all for their feelings and thoughts. I know where I stand, you do what you want to.

Steve
 
I wouldn't go so far as only allowing appliance-related discussions or sequestering all politics in a special zone.

I'm on another forum where the "moderator" isn't moderate: he comes down heavy-handed with comments such as "I will not allow...(this or that)..." I can be having a pleasant time reading the postings, and then someone strays into an arbitrary forbidden zone and the "moderator" slams down on it, and the feeling I get is like when you're sitting on the couch, relaxing with a good book, and suddenly there is a loud noise of breaking glass nearby. Totally destroys the mood.

On the other hand, the folks who run this site seem to do an absolutely fantastic job of it. No complaints whatsoever. If someone gets out of hand, a mild admonishment is usually sufficient to get an honest apology, and the problem solves itself with no need for heavy-handed tactics.

Re. politics: I have no problem with opinions honestly expressed in terms that are not inflammatory or ideologically intolerant. Realistically there isn't much political discussion here except in designated topics (for example before the last election). The topic titles are ample warning for folks who don't want to read that stuff, and I think that system works fine. And as for the occasional passing remark in other topics; we all live in democratic countries where political debate is part of the normal civic life, and good that it's so.

Re. winky-wink: I would tend to think that if someone posts a picture and then there's a bunch of comments along the lines of "gee whiz you're cute!, are you taken?", that could be either comfortable or uncomfortable depending on the person. I don't see a problem with it as long as it doesn't get much past that level and folks can handle responses such as "thanks but you're not my type." And on the upside, there's always the chance of a "match made in Heaven," and something to celebrate. (Realistically, where else are folks with unusual interests likely to find partners than on sites focused on those interests, right?)

Variety is the spice of life; on the whole we're doing a pretty good job of avoiding the extremes of bland on one hand and too-hot on the other.
 
just my .02 worth

To Jon & everyone,

I dont get to post here much since I no longer have any vintage appliances. :( I may chime in from time to time on the deluxe or super forum. I do however enjoy reading and looking at everyones posts and pics of their finds, collections and other fun stuffs. I guess I never realized there are younger members (teen/pre-teen) on this fourm. So I will promise to keep my posts "clean".
 
Jon, I admire your taking a stand. As a 42 yr. old, I'm impressed by the wisdom coming from an 18 year old. I wish I'd had a handle on things like that when I was your age.

Thank you for contributing!

David
 

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