Kids say the darndest things

[panthera]

I was sort of hoping for a long thread

on funny incidents involving not-yet-socialized humans, aka: Kids.

Instead this is turning into one of those whiny, bitchy piss and moan contests...and it isn't even about me for a change.

Sudsman, please don't be offended, I respect you enormously and truly want to get to know you better. I just feel that if we start censoring these things, it might turn into a useful sociological treatise, but not be the humorous thread I want it to be.

Ego problem, moi?

So, this is one my family likes to tell people incessantly (especially my financé):

When I was not quite two, I was out with my mom's dad driving. He ran a red light and the cops pulled him over. He's doing a great job of telling the officer that the light hadn't been there the day before (true) and there was no mandatory warning 50 feet in front of it (also true) when I chime in: "Grampa, you said there wasn't anybody on the road so we didn't need to stop but I think these are bodys!"

I doubt I used quite those words, but there it was and he got a big ticket and I got no ice cream, which is where we had been headed.

Sigh.

And yes, nearly 50 years later I can still regret it. The ice-cream, not the ticket.

 

[retro-man]

It wasn't what I said it was what I did!

While grocery shopping with my mother as a child I would wander around the store on my own. Things were different back then. One day I saw a display set up with cards to fill out for a drawing. I was taught how to print my name and my parents name and address at an early age incase I got lost, ya right. So I filled out a couple of cards and dropped them in the box. Who could resist a drawing. Never new what I was entering my parent in. Well a couple of weeks later the doorbell rings and my mother meets a young man in a clean uniform standing at the door. Apparently my submissions had won the contest. He was there to provide 1 years worth of diaper cleaning services. My mother was so embarrased and explained that it must have been me that had done that. Well needless to say there was not much wandering away from mom while grocery shopping after this.
Jon

 

[ttuee2006]

Sudsman...

Lighten up! Most small children have a difficult time with phrases as long as "I need to go to the bathroom." Almost univerally all small kids I've ever known (my sister and me included) said "i have to pee" or "I have to potty" or "I have to poo". Much easier on small minds and weak tongues.

Foul mouths are part of life too. Let's face it, the majority of people have a foul mouth at some point or another. Not everyone mind you (obviously you're from a different mould) but the vast majority of people will let fly with some less-than-reputable phrases in the right circumstances (usually in private). Children are very impressionable and will repeat what they hear at home. You don't INTEND for them to repeat it, but for whatever reason kids find cursing hilarious, so obviously that's why they repeat it! To language-Nazis like yourself, that's a horrible abomination, but it's something that most kids do and has to be ironed out and corrected.

When it's not funny is when the parent actually encourages it. That's when it goes from being an "oopsie" to something that needs to be frowned upon.

Lighten up and laugh a little! Maybe the world won't seem so dark to you anymore...

 

[sudsman]

I am laughing at all

the world has NEVER seemed dark to me at all but I am sure it does to those who wear dark colored glasses and dont see the truth.

 

[iheartmaytag]

Luckily my director didn't have her ass cheeks clinched so tightly, so she was able to see the humor at the time.

As I was standing there trying to ignore my little darling, she just said. "Well you better take her to pee."

Some people know that the most mannerly way to deal with an indiscretion is to not point it out.