@Mike
The therapy/service dog excuse makes me livid. I had a service dog for about five years. The Americans with Disabilities Act's refusal to create a national service dog ID or certification has done a tremendous disservice to merchants. Merchants are allowed to ask if your animal is a service animal and what the animal does for you. There is no "official" ID, and if you have one, you probably ordered it from the internet. The idea was to maintain the privacy of the service animal's handler, but once those of us with mental illness or PTSD describe what our animals do, we have essentially told the merchant the nature of our disability.
Unfortunately, merchants are cowed by the risks of refusing accommodation to someone who claims theirs is a service animal. Few realize that they can refuse access to any animal that is not displaying the behavioral standards of a service animal. People with therapy/emotional support animals have more limited access. A dog walking on a dining table could be removed on the grounds of behavior.
A good friend of mine used to rent a room in her house. She complained of her tenant's "service" dog peeing on the floor and damaging the property. I explained that she did not have to accommodate the dog because it was not behaving to service dog standards. She was afraid not to.
People who lie about their animal's service status create a functional and financial burden for businesses. For example, hotels cannot charge pet or pet cleaning fees for service animals.
@eddie
I was part of a group of women who lunched together regularly. I was obese and one of the first to have children. It always seemed kind of simple to me. If you're going to sit on the seat, leave it down. If you are going to hover, lift it up. A few women in the group said that they hovered but shouldn't have to lift up the seat because it was dirty and they didn't want to touch it. I argued that it is basic courtesy to not pee on the seat or wipe it off because there are many people who don't have the option to hover--elderly people with arthritis, obese people and small children to name a few. Interestingly, once they started having children, they all changed their tune.
@Cameron and other folks who maintain laundries, would limiting detergents to pods only help?
@mike, I'm very sorry about your grandchildren's behavior. It's extremely difficult to see bad behavior in a family member and be powerless to do anything about it. Loving your grandchildren unconditionally, modeling good behavior and setting appropriate limits when you can could change their lives. My mother was a poor example on many levels. As I matured, I sought role models who could help me become a better person. I hope your grandchildren do the same.
I will say that there are ways to discipline children without hitting them. I tried spanking my older son a few times, but he was as hard headed as I am. I could have spanked him until I killed him, and he still wouldn't have stopped or apologized.
Please beware of painting an entire generation with the same brush. My young adult sons and their friends are kind, considerate, socially aware and concerned about the environment. They are so much better than I was at their age and amaze me every day.
Sarah
