Thanks everyone -- you all are truly wonderful!
I think I know why the pair are in such great condition -- the owners were already in their 50s when they built our home. I'm sure the set did not get as much use as it would have had with a bunch of kids running around and laundry going all the time. Then the wife passed away about 10 years before we bought the home, so yes, I suppose the machines just weren't used all that often.
Oh -- I called the number on the sticker -- it goes straight to Whirlpool customer service!
Here is a partial re-post of the email I sent to Kevin a few minutes ago. I don't know if the issue is more complicated than previously thought, or if a button is just stuck somewhere, or what. But I love this set and do plan on keeping it as long as I can.
So I am doing a test run with a pile of dirty rags so I can answer your question re: the wooo / whirr. I am watching to see exactly how the cycle goes down. Here are the results:
1 -- After she filled with water, I noticed that she never began agitating. All you can hear is a loud "buzz" (sounds like reaaaaallly loud fluorescent lights) but no action. I played with the buttons and once I pushed "low" for agitate it started going. If I pressed "high" it would stop.
2 -- Same for drain / spin -- if "spin" is on "high" -- no go, would just sit with the tub full of water; if moved to "low, then it would spin and drain.
3 -- A bit of good news -- no puddle of water all over the floor this time -- is Madge just mad at Harold and acting tempermental? She used to be so mellow....