Jeff: I don't remember who was the person who posted the link to Dr. Taylor's talk either, but consider the fact that the community here made a space for such a poster to do so. So, I am very grateful both to the poster and the community at large. Also, I hope your SO is better, kidney problems are not fun is what I gather from friends and family who went through similar things. And thank you so much for posting the link to other forums whether or not you were the original poster here, it really does help.
Everyone who corrected me on the Ebay/Craig's List thing. Thank you -- yes, I don't click on the posts, at least I don't click on most of them. I'm glad that it's helpful to people, I had the impression that it was, but now I'm sure. I have never complained about it before, and you can be sure that I won't in the future. My excuse, lame as it is, is that I posted more or less in a "stream of consciousness" style, with very little editing as it's evident by the grammatical and spelling errors. What I meant to say and failed, and you all stress my point for me, is that say I'm annoyed enough by a custom in this forum, like the heads up thing (which admittedly is very mildly annoying to me, I don't much care one way or another, but it was a good example to use and not rile up the entire forum) and somehow suppress it by some fluke and people can't post about it anymore. Then the people who were being helped by it will be missing something. More importantly, the community will change -- in this case not for the better. But anyone can make arguments that sound good/plausible, like "it's taking bandwidth", or "it's annoying to me", or "it offends me", or "I can't believe they aren't already looking there", or "well, they can't look all over the country but they can look at the places that they can truck the thing over for a reasonable price" or any number of other things. Thing is, I'm wrong about it, it helps other people. People I like and care about, so maybe I'm way better off not getting my druthers but getting the community/friends that I enjoy so much. I'll take the quirks the community has because it feels like family to me -- I don't get along with my entire family and friends all the time, but I try to overlook the bad-ish and be thankful for the good. Sometimes I fail, I'd like to think most of the time I succeed.
On the Ms. Manners thing. I like her the best among the etiquette people; she seems to not only accept but advance the idea that times change and we need to adapt. No one needs that extra 3 sets of fork, knife and spoon at a picnic or fast-food joint, even if you may need them at a full banquet. And she's very clear on the fact that no one has a god-given right to never be offended. It will happen sometimes. She's also completely against people who go the extra mile to take offense at things, that is one of the definitions of a rude person, a polite member of society is expected to look the other way on many many things instead of jumping to "I'm offended". It's unfortunately way too common for rude people to see someone's fly is open and "get offended" or, worse yet, "get offended on behalf of others, particularly children" and make a scandal. She's said in as many words that if you see someone whose pants have the fly open, or have a catsup or coffee stain etc, your best move is not to broadcast it to the world -- if there's a reasonable expectation that the person will think no one noticed and not be embarrassed, you're expected to keep your silence; on the other hand, if you are sure that it's very easy to notice, you are expected to quietly and as discreetly as possible to tell the person so they can deal with the situation in a dignified way. But she's not shy about offending people who already caused offense and sometimes deeply humiliating people in front of everybody without actually being accused of ever being rude. And her sarcasm is worth it. A few of her gems:
Dear Ms. Manners: a {black, gay, lesbian, mixed race, foreign} couple just moved across the street from me. What can I do to improve the neighborhood?
Gentle reader: move.
Dear Ms. Manners: what should I say when introduced to a {black, gay, lesbian, mixed race, foreign} couple?
Gentle reader: shake their hands while asking "How do you do? How do you do?"
Dear Ms. Manners: how do I introduce my son and his gay lover?
Gentle reader: "This is my son Jack and his friend Joe" -- it's permissible to pause briefly before the word "friend".
About credit cards as a form of age verification: one can essentially buy "gift cards" that work just like an ordinary credit card at the supermarket nowadays. On the positive side, one can reasonably claim that one made a good faith effort to limit access to adults that way.
Anyhow, in case it's not clear from my comments: I will support whatever Robert decides. My opinions here are just my opinions and they may be wrong, I am not offering them as "this is the right way of doing things" but really way more likely as "this is what's going on in my head". Please take it with a large grain of salt.
Cheers all,
-- Paulo.
. All I'm saying is, if you have something to say to someone, direct your comment to them, not to Robert. IMO this is the only problem with the Super Forum. Don't dump your trash on Robert's lap, make him your cybernanny, and make other members needlessly defensive.
