Getting tortured in school.

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Moving on

Pete,

Thanks for your kind words. My wedding dress is now wash and wear and I have Jacoby and Myers on the top of the cake.....

Spiral,

No matter what the Neanderthals did to you and your mother, the bottom line is that you are here, alive and well and have found, it seems, a place where you are valued. Many people go through life with challenges. Some rise to the top like cream and some become victims. Many people go through life being heroes and role models and don't even know it. They don't have "hero" or "role model" tacked next to their name. I think you could be, and are probably one of those people.

I graduated in 1969 and have never a attended a high school reunion. My life REALLY started when I got away from high school and all the negative feelings associated with it.

Don't let those four years influence you too much. It is behind you and now do what makes you feel good and productive! You have a lot of living ahead of you.
 
Teasing, Taunting, Torture; All Horrible!

As a mom, my heart is so heavy when I read your posts. I have come to the conclusion that some children will find anything to make fun of. Even if you are "perfect", they will tease you about the colour of your notebook or what you eat for lunch. It's almost a sadistic childhood right of passage. I can only hope that, at some point, they realize how hurtful their tauntings are and how they can affect a person for their entire life.

Lest you think that I slipped in under the radar.....I was teased about my name during elementary and junior high. In seventh grade, I told my Civics teacher that I wanted to change my name to "Ricki". Needless to say, the teasing stopped in 9th grade (maybe kids started to grow up), and I've never had a problem since.

Age is a wonderful thing! You don't have to succumb to peer pressure, try to "belong", or endure taunts. I am at a time in my life where I enjoy being somewhat eccentric and love my name!

I will continue to teach my children to respect others and their right to be themselves without fear of harassment.

All of you are so special!

Venus (AKA "Ricki" LOL)
 
Prejudice

There is a prejudice against people with disabilities. I've seen it towards my former fiancee' and to me. Like the doctor that thought I was retarded, the lady that told Bob's mom that he should be institutionalized, the teachers at Spiral's school. Nobody likes a freak. Sorry but in their eyes that's what we are. Alot of times people have a hard time understanding me because I don't move my mouth a whole lot when I talk. I can speak clearly but not seeing the movements throws people off. Also alot of people just ignore me now because they don't know or understand, so I get rejected thinking I'm either a) retarded or b) something mentally wrong.
 
Here's my post. I also was the kid in gym class that was the last to be picked. I was the fat wall flower that was not good in sports and I did not care because i really did not like them nor did I want to really learn them. I had my special interests, I loved appliances and cooking and was very good at them. My other prblem wsa I went to Catholic achool and at the time had an older brother and a younger sister and was always compared to them( i now have three younger sisters) In catholic school in the 60's and 70's you would always take the voice of the nuns and preists as the word of God, and my parents did. I was constantly being told by school and home I was lazy, your not as smart as your brother or sister from the nun's and I would never amount to anything. This continued up into catholic high school, I did get decent grades as I go older but was still picked on becasue of weight and cooking and liking girls stuff. In high school I wanted to go to public school so bad because you could take wood shop and even home ec. In high school you could go half days to a technical school starting sophmore year and I want to go for chef training. The guidance office of priests and nuns told my parents I was too smart to take that and should go to college. Well I was not allowed to go and I did not want to go to college, I really didn't like school anymore Between junior and senior year I lost about 50 pounds and the the first few days of catholic school no one even noticed. the second week of Senior year I was transfered to public school because the high cost of Catholic school that was great??? a big NO, I was the new kid and I tranferred from the schools worst sports rival. I survived senior and went to tech school for computers. I loved it to but really regret not going to chef school. I now have a house , new cars , a great family, a job that is ok and belong to this great group of friends here, and I start chef training in November and plan to finish it in a few years and do early retirment in 7 years and start a Personal Chef business.

So to all those people from Saint Jane Francis de Chantel grade school, Notre Dame High School and Wilson High School in Easton PA, that said I was lazy and would never amount to anything I would like to dedicate The song "How do you like me now" by Toby Kieth because I am too much of a gentleman to really tell you what you can do with your comments.
 
heres my two cents

well i may only be 18 guys but believe me i still have had my fair share of school unpleasantries. I was never really very sociable, always shy and somewhat awkward, people never knew how to really talk to me i guess. Then i moved into high school in England and then things really hotted up, everyone took the p**s because i was fat and got upset easily. If i had let them know that i was gay then it would have just added fuel to an already well burning fire. BUT, things got better when i moved to Australia, i met a great group of fuys and gals who really enjoyed my company coz of my accent (it is cute, apparently) and the fact that i am funny and overlly dramatic. School was a joy to attend in australia (apart from the exams *shudder*) because there was always someone who was happy to see you, they don't care if i'm gay or straight or whatever, they like me for me. The only real worry is my parents, they remind me of what it used to be like, they get on me because i am still slightly overweight and the fact that i don't do a lot of excercise. Even now after i have left school i still hang out with the same old group and love every minute, coz i feel accepted, i feel accepted here in the Discuss O Mat because you all can relate to me, my passion for laundry etc. Even tho i don't contribute to the threads as much as i should, i still enjoy reading the conversations you guys have, sometimes wacky, sometimes sad, sometimes serious, sometimes just plain random. Neway, anough of my ramblings :)
Best wishes to you all!
Matt
 
Well, back then no one knew what ADD was. I had it and didn't know what it was. Even the psychologists at the time told my parents "He's extremely intelligent, he just doesn't apply himself." Because of my add I can't do an office job very well, as in keeping stuff organized and managing things. Project meetings and stuff, can't do it. I get bored really easily and my mind wanders off too much. I gotta be actively doing something, not just sitting there. Being ADD doesn't bother me now that I know what it does and how it works, I can work around it by keeping active and doing stuff that doesn't drag on and on and get tiresome. But back in the 70s and 80s people didn't know about this so I was the kid that daydreamed and wandered off during class. Hence, I was Lazy and didn't pay attention in school.

Sports. I hated sports. No sport even to this day doesn't do anything for me. I can tolerate baseball. I went to Fenway park once and the Sox won. So that was fun, but football and everything else, especially golf doesn't interest me. I guess cause I was the skinny kid that couldn't catch the ball and got teased for that. I was glad to not be able to choose PE for Junior and Senior years.

And I gotta say what Pa Runner said about "How you like me now?" Most of the idiots that teased me in Chalmette turned into car mechanics, bums, basket pushers at the grocery store, and here I am riding in a New Beetle, played in a rock band, and I can fix computers.

And to all the people that picked on me in Lacoste Elementary, NP Trist Middle and Chalmette high, I have a certain hand gesture for you that involves a middle finger. I'd say it here but there are young'ens here.

In conclusion to all this: School sucked.
 
Yes Jason, it did.

But we who were tried by "fire", I'd say can no longer be hurt by words.

Besides you can't F*** me unless I lie down first.
Hurt me once shame on you.
Hurt me twice and shame on me.

Anyway,
I can now see the love and though their eyes. The trick is to see WHY they hurting and feel the need to torture.

As my parents taught me, I don't have to like you, but I have to say good morning and acknowledge your existance to reaffirm you as a living human being. And in case of need give you a glass of water a bite of food, two dollars and a blanket. Other than than that, we're done.

And the best part of it all is, as others have said above, those of us at at he bottom of the Totem pole often continue to grow day by day. Other have stopped decades ago. We therefore get to the top.

Bottom line is that LOVE is the glue that holds together the universe.
 
Hi Jason

I had never heard of Moebius Sydrome till I read your post - I looked it up (isn't the net a wonderful thing) - so you've taught me something today.

What you said about not moving your mouth much when you talk - it sounds so "Australian". When I was in high school in the late seventies we had an English teacher from the former Rhodesia, now Zimbabwe (??). She sounded very very British to us, with a hint of South African sound, and constantly berated us for how appallingly Australians speak (in her not-so-humble opinion). We Aussies pronounce the word "drawing" with a soft "r" in the middle, sort of "draw-ring." She would go red in the face saying, "why do you do it, there's no R, it's "draw-ing, draw-ing" which sounded weird to us, like "droing, droing."
Anyway speaking without moving the face is very characteristic of the more remote parts of Australia, the hot outback and huge farms called "stations". The outback, whilst very beautiful in an arid way, has vast numbers of flies which are very persistant, they try to crawl up your nose, in your eyes, ears and mouth. It is often pondered that perhaps the characteristic way of speaking whilst barely moving the lips is due to people having to talk but not open the mouth enough to let the flies in.
So over here, if your face doesn't move much when you talk, people would probably just assume you are from "the bush".

When I was in USA in 81/82 as an exchange student, I had some interesting times getting myself understood. One time my host brother's car had a couple of bad tyres, as I knew more about cars than him I phoned Sears to organise new ones. I asked the switch operator for the Tyre (Ok TIRE) department, I got put through to the toy department...
My host brother had been to my school the year before, he warned me that what we called "rubbers" were called "erasers" and I had better be careful... one day in Spanish class I forgot and asked the girl next to me if she had a rubber I could use... She said, "ewww, you're disgusting" and even when I tried to explain, I don't think she was really convinced...

Best Wishes

Chris
 
Interesting and moving thread

Quote:

"Here's my post. I also was the kid in gym class that was the last to be picked. I was the fat wall flower that was not good in sports and I did not care because i really did not like them nor did I want to really learn them. I had my special interests, I loved appliances and cooking and was very good at them"

Boy, substitute fat with skinny and cooking with hobbies and you have me in Jr/Sr high!

I went to an all-white, upper middle class, huge high school that had everything but a swimming pool. And it was a nightmare. If you were not into playing sports, you better be on the sidelines "supporting" the team, or else you were "wierd". Sports never, ever interested me, even today. People come up to me in business and ask what I thought of the "game" last night, and I have no idea what sport they are even talking about.

I used to be amazed that "the game" was even the "game" in PE class! God forbid you didn't get the goal in 7th period gym, they would not let you forget it. However, on one of the rare times I did do good, got alot of high fives during the day for how good I did in "the game". Man, talk about pathetic.

There is little room in some schools for people with different interests. Or society for that matter. My local park allows R/C flying, but you better go during the week. Every damn weekend the parks here are jammed with "soccer kids". Is it fair that they get the parks all weekends and those with other interests can go pound sand somewhere? Typical. If you are not IN, you're OUT.

Almost all my problems went away the summer I "got tall". Funny how no one picks on you if they have a chance of being really clobbered. Goes to show you what these bullies are made out of, and I felt pretty good discovering that.

Here is a good story I think you all might like. This is absolutely true.

My wife was a little chubby when she was in Junior High and the first two years of HS. In college you would not recognize her. Her metabolism changed and she exercised more. Suddenly, she was the one in demand for dates. But that is a side story.

When she was in school, there was a group of kids that always picked on her. One girl was the worst, and was always calling her a fat pig. On free period, this girl and her cronies would literally follow her around and call her fatty, oink at her, etc. Finally, my wife had enough and went over to the girl and clocked her one, and knocked her on her butt. She said the girl's look was "I can't believe you did that" and she started to cry.

Next class, my wife got a note to see the principal. Both her mom and the other girl and the other girl's mom were there. They asked her to apologize. When they did, my mother in law went nuts and started yelling how this group had bothered her for the entire school year. The mom of the other girl knew nothing, but realized this was the truth--and made the girl apologize. My wife was not suspended, and that girl left her alone after that. The girl's mom explained that she was nervous about her daughter getting hurt because she was starting to get into TV.

The girl that my wife belted was Molly Ringwald.

I can't see a picture of that creepy woman without wanting to punch in her little butt-y face myself. Glad my wife did it. One for our side.
 
I just didn't care...

What anyone thought of me. And I don't know if they ever said anything,but if so it was never to my face. I did get into a few fights,but it was in like fourth grade or so. I remember a kid a few grades ahead knocking me down and pushing my face in the snow,just being a bully. The second time he tried it,I beat the snot out of him,and he stayed away from me after that.

I managed the garage in a Firestone dealership while in college. Some of the crew that worked there not the best people,however they always did what I asked of them,never said anything out of line to me,and never gave me any flack. I was out of the closet during the six years that I worked there.
I also hung out with a biker friend at the time,and never had any problems at the biker bar on the "wrong side of the tracks" he hung out at.

I think if you let someone intimidate you it is a horrible mistake. If that happens you have lost their respect,and also the battle. I think that Mrs. Preston would agree with me on that!

I love the fact that your wife belted Molly Ringwald! That is classic!
 
Language quirks

Well, being down south doesn't help, and being a Cajun doesn't help either with speaking clearly.

I've known people up north (like Pennsylvania, Massachusetts) say "Drawering" instead of "Drawing". Also, here in Lousiana us Cajun drone out the long "I" sound, so Tires is "Toyrs" or "Tars", Time is "Tom" or "toym", the pronoun "I" is "ah", my is "mah". One time my ex finacee's dad kinda chuckled when I prounced Verizon "Verohhhzen". He started saying, "Man, you come from down on dat bayou!". I said, "Hell yeah! And don't you yankees ever forget it".

But yeah, Moebius is a little different than just not moving your mouth, it's an inability to do so regardless. Quite enough fuel for the flames.

Well, as far as standing up for myself, I was afraid of people so I would just run. My dad put me in a Karate school in hopes I'd "kick their a**". Well, I wasn't very good at sparring so I figured if I couldn't fight then running was the only alternative. And shouting back or cursing would've started a fight so I didn't do it.

It definitely was the parents fault for those kids. Most of them were alcoholics and white trash who could care less.
 
Rick, that was my hairstyle!

At the time you were doing the Firestone gig, I was working at "Bill's Arco" in Encinitas California. What a wonderful job. My auto shop teacher told me about it and put a good word in for me as he worked part time there and I was the top guy in class for three years running. I started pumping gas, but quickly I was doing engine tune ups, oil changes, then it got interesting.

Because I was so good with cars, I found myself doing things like moving huge dump trucks from the station to the rental yard, firing up all sorts of machinery, rebuilding engines. The older pump jockey guys out front hated that! I made just a buck or two more than minimum wage, but it was one of the most fun experiences of my life. If I worked the late shift, I would mop up the work bays, and my friend Bob would come down and stand on the alignment rack while I worked and we would quiz each other on the coming physics or english exams. Dream job for someone with my aptitude.

When I got my Charger, I was allowed to work on it after hours there. Bill was the kind of guy who could be grouchy but was good hearted, and he would unannounced just pull the oil out of my car and put a new filter and oil in it. This was always under the guise of him showing you the right way to do it. Whenever I had to take something to his house, one of his kids cars I was working on, etc, he would either buy me lunch or clip some amazing flowers for me to take home to my mom. What a cool guy, and job, this was.

And of course, he always let me have my hair longer.
 
I never did like Molly Ringwald in the 80s. I always thought she was a little *itch. Good that your wife decked her.

Justine Bateman (Mallory on Family Ties) on the other hand. OMG, my first TV crush. Just in time for puberty and the invention of Softsoap.
 
High school the abridged version

Fat, gay, and a voice that sounded like Mickey Mouse on helium...in an all boys Catholic high school. NOT a winning combo, need I say more. The school was so unsupportive; teachers looked the other way or pretended not to hear the taunts. The Dean of students told my mother "I should just ignore it"..."boys will be boys” and my personal favorite "maybe I would be happier at another school". After my freshman year my parents were all set to pull me out, and send me to a different school. However, I didn't want to be chased out of the school like some monster. I stuck it out for another three years. For that, I can say I have been to hell. While I still hate even driving past my high school, the experience has taught me a lot, about myself. I have become almost fearless, when dealing with people. Before I give a big presentation at school (business students do hundreds of power point presentations during their college career), or walk down the runway(lately I have done a few charity fashion shows, so much fun =) I just close my eyes and think nothing that anyone can say or do right now can be any worse then those four years of HS. It’s like a shot of courage right when I need it most.
If I could go back I would like to thank those boys for making me a stronger, better person.
Wow that felt kind of good to vent… other then my parents you guys are the only ones to know this.
Donnie
 
People who say they

had a good time in high school were either delusional or bullies.

I was a library helper/studio arts/theatre person

That's all I am going to say on the matter.

Lawrence/Maytagbear
 
I guess I was pretty fortunate then. While I wasn't "out" I'm sure there were some questions but I don't remember anyone ever being traumitized for being fat, queer, odd, at my highschool which was a mix of "rich kids" "middle classers", and farm kids" they didn't stick to themselves as such and everone more or less found their friends from any which group and stuck together. I don't remember any clashes at all ever. The few kids with disabilities in wheelchairs or crutches and the one sole black girl in a sea of whiteys were just part of the school like anyone else and just fit in to everything like anyone else. I believe it had to do with the way the school was run starting from the principal on down. He was well liked by everyone, very fair and non confrontational. When I started in Grade 9 was still when girls were supposed to wear dresses or skirts, boys could wear jeans etc. but I guess by that time the older girls rebelled and all decided to come to school in jeans one day. The principal got on the PA a bit later that day and agreed that perhaps it was time for some change but that he expected that the school being somewhat like a business people should dress appropriately and if they are going to wear jeans then at least look decent about it. For the most part all of the teachers and classes were fairly easy going, you didn't have to stick you hand up and wait for permission to leave the room etc to go to the bathroom you could just get up quietly and walk out if you had to go. Even though it was highschool they treated you much more like young adults or college students. If you skipped you weren't grilled the next day so long as you had your work done but you couldn't use excuses for failing or missing something because of it, it was too bad, so sad, think about it next time.
I didn't dread gym too much, I knew there were a lot worse than me at some things. I could play baseball, not great but as good as many, football I hated and still do, hockey I hated and still do (a sin for a Canadian) LOL. My real saving grace was gymnastics which I took for years at the Y growing up.. whew..I could at least do something better than the rest of them, and I was a pretty good shot with a rifle. Imagine we had a proper rifle range in the school... I wonder if it's still there?
 

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