Getting tortured in school.

[toggleswitch]

Branching off from Venus' "Can I brag" [about Austin]thread

Didn't want to hijack their thread or be inapproporte there..
HERE however...

First the "old" issues

Carol:
Said: Venus-get that boy something "special" for doing such a bang up job!!!
Response: If he gets your daughter as a gift, wouldn't you be afraid he'd continue doing a bang-up job?

Jason:
Said: You know you have it bad when even the NERDS pick on you. I shoulda been one of them, but they outcasted me because of my birth defect.

Response: OMG we have something in common besides this club!
Is that possible? (oh relax you know I hold you in great esteem...)

I got tortured for MY birth defect too. But I call my orientation to the world a "Quirk" instead of a BD. Most people (IMHO) dont seem to like change and want their friends to go from school to school. I was thrilled to get a chance to get away from those cruel people and to start anew.

But G-d forgets no one. My music teacher was so color-blind it was scary. But he could pick out a sour-musical note in a room of 40 musicians (our class). His ear was so good that he had the machine that was used by mere mortals to tune instruments recalibrated. No-one could hear that what the machine said was a perfect musical note was off!. Guess what, IT WAS! Lacking in this....extra in that.

So whatever it is that G-d gave you double doses of, enjoy. (oh, and there is NO NEED to send me a pic of it).

In summary, all i'm saying is all that torture helped strengthen us to be who we are today. If you can embrace it all and realize G-d gives everyone only as much as they can handle.

and now the "new" issues:
So spill it....who got tortured in school and why?

 

[rinso]

I survived Catholic School. Barely. Sister Mary Marquis De Sade was one of our teachers, who implemented corporal punishment at the slightest event. We didn't get our "Loretta Young" nun until I was in the 7th grade. I too was teased by the nerds. I aquired my particular defect in an auto injury, which left me the class bedwetter for years. Impossible to keep that kind of thing secret from your classmates, and I can't even begin to describe the teasing I got.

When we got our first Maytag automatic my mother, being a very supportive and understanding person, showed me how to take care of my bedding myself, and that's partially how I became interested in first washers, and then other appliances.

 

[jasonl]

Toggle: I don't understand why people do this. No offense, but it's spelled GOD, not G-D. I don't get what taking the O out does but to each his own. Well, in my school if you were gay it was a bad deal. The one boy the came out was called "f*g" and everything else that came with it. I heard tell he was beat up daily for his sexual preference.

Well, I had enough to get picked on because of my Moebius Syndrome. Nevermind me being a Christian. That's even more fuel for the fire. It's human nature to want a perfect world without any imperfections. Everyone wants to be skinny and good looking, have a winning smile, lots of money and the right social skills. So anything out of the ordinary especially with kids will attract abuse.

I'm pretty much over the fact that I'm a little different than everyone else. I was able to find a woman, and I was loved by her as if nothing was wrong with me. Everyone is sexy to somebody. And damn if Bri wasn't sexy either. Oh yi yi. Don't let the wheelchair fool ya, she's a tiny little love doll, a laptop.

Rinso: And Sister Mary Elephant de Sade lived up to her name as well. Must've been pent up sexual energy. Because they don't get nun I guess. "Class... class.... Class.. SHUUUUTTTT UPPPPP!!!!!"

 

[mayken4now]

Me was picked on because I was soooooooooooooooo damn GDLK!

NOT!

The Red Hair!

Steve

 

[jdinstl]

YHWH and G-d...

...Jason,

Of course I can't speak for Toggle -- but I can speak as a progressive Episcopalian, as some of my friends use the same convention.

For many, it's simply a form of expressed deference and respect, in the same sentiment as many orthodox Jewish will not utter the word "Yahweh" because the very name is so holy and sacred, hence the YHWH convention we see in Christian publications. Contrast that to the many profane louts yelling "G-- damnit" in every sentence at everything that moves or is stationary. The expression of piety and respect carried with G-d becomes reassurring and refreshing to see.

John

 

[Cybrvanr]

The biggest disadvantage for me was the fact that I was a much smaller kid than everyone else my age...still am as a matter of fact, as I am over 30, and only weight 135 pounds!

Because of this, I was a bit of an under-performer in sports and some physical challenges. I hated the traditional "ball and stick" type sports games, and never found any enjoyment in playing them. This was because not only was I couldn't play anywhere near as good as fellow classmates, but also because of the constant teasing and ridicule I received because of this lack of performance. Add to this the total lack of interest I had (and still do) of watching sporting events, I was a real outcast! I perferred to interest myself in electrical and mechanical things, which at the time was not too glamourous. Here I was a kid that could build an electric motor from scratch, write his own Commodore 64 software, rebuild and "hotrod" a wide variety of household appliances, but didnt even know how to hit a baseball. When the subject came of of what a particular sports team had done during a game, I didn't know what the heck others were talking about.

I hated gym class for as long as I was in school, and used to get extreme fits of anxiety with the mere sight of the inside of a gym! The gym classes during my grade-school time really didn't teach much about physical fitness at all. They basically taught the rules and how to play various games, or they were more of a recess period where students were free to play a particular sport, or get tourmented by the other students, of a teacher's choice with limited supervision. I never really learned that physical fitness and excersize is actually fun and enjoyable from any of the county schools, and I was actually taught to avoid it due to their poor teaching method...This was a particular problem considering I have slight amounts of ADD, and physical activity is particularly good for this condition.

It took some persistance and hard work by some good friends I met in college to even get me comfortable with going inside a gym, or even touch a piece of fitness equipment. If I did any excersizing, it was typically done in private, away from anyone else, to avoid the ridicule of others due to my lack of performance. This, of course was not good. I didn't have anyone spotting me while using the equipment, and after learning, I realized that I was frequently doing things wrong...luckily, I never got injured! After going over to the college gym these good friends, I got better about it. They taught me how to properly use the excersize machines, and do it safely. They also taught me that "gym rats" were actually rather nice people that are willing to help you out, and offer good encouragement towards your goals.

Today, however, I believe I've had the last laugh in all of this. I went to my 10 year high school reunion a few years back, and those sports jocks that tourmented me back in school were getting a little chubby and overweight. Many of them had lost their good looks and had been divoiced from their high-school sweethearts (and used riduculed me because I did not date any in high school) . While I don't wish bad things on anyone, the thought that I can now do 12 pullups, and the guys that used to tease me becaue I couldn't do one, probably cannot do any today themselves! The interesting thing about the whole event was these same people who used to make my life a living hell in school have been so totally nice to me since the reunion. The walked up to me, started conversation and seemed genuinely interested in me. I guess they have been humbled by their own trials in life! Still, I still don't see the reason to get all worked up about being an armchair athlete...seems to me a lot of wasted energy.

What I've noticed though is that today, it's cool to be a "geek". I do work in schools, and I have noticed that many kids actually choose to wear glasses becasue of style, but don't even have vision problems necessitating their need. Today, it's cool to be good at video games and know electronics. While there's always a place for sports, it seems like school life today is a bit more friendly to the geek kids!

 

[rickr]

Didn't hate school,hated living at home

School was not a problem for me. I had good friends,and spent lots of time doing what kids did back then. Home was another issue. Lots of yelling,verbal abuse and lots of violence. My father,like many depresson era dads,did without as a child. And had to go off to fight in the war in his teens and ended up suffering from alcoholism.
He had me "clocked" as a queer early on,though nobody else did. He did not like who I was at all. Remember it was the early 70's. I just wanted to leave so bad, that I even tried suicide at 15. The only place that I could find peace was at my mothers parents house,and I stayed there as often as I could. I asked my grandparents if I could live with them on a permanent basis,however they were old and tired and did not want deal with a spirited teen. I found my first boyfriend when I was 17,and still in high school. I moved in with him,and my parents did not try to make me come home. We were careful not to let any of the kids in high school know,and I did not hang out with my friends anymore after that. Our relationship lasted over 4 years,and by that time we both moved in different directions. Strange at it seems,I got along better with my father,although I did not see my parents much for a long time.I managed to finish high school,although it was a struggle for us to get there sometimes. (hence making the deans "other list"). I did better in college,and it was a "pay as you go" for me. We never spoke of the fact that I was gay to my father,although mom and I talked about it some. Mom could never understand why I could not "just be friends" with my boyfriends. However she accepted me for who I was,and we spent lots of time together when I was in my 30's. After my parents got sick with cancer, I was their principle care giver,and was there for them when they passed away. I had told my father on his death bed,"You may not have always done what was right,but you did what you thought was right,and that is almost the same thing" And we hugged each other and cried. So many wasted years for so many people.
It is too bad that some people still think that one has to be white and straight to be a useful member of todays society. And all others do not belong.And there are many that still think that way. It really breaks my heart when I hear of kids today still going through what I did over 30 years ago. That is just one of the reasons that I am proud to be a Liberal.

Attached is a photo of me with my parents (dad is behind mom in the photo) at my older brothers wedding,when I was 16. The look on my face speaks 1000 words.

 

[frigilux]

Man. I'm actually getting a little choked up, here. Very few of us get through the first 20 years of life without serious emotional and/or physical issues to deal with and work through. I'm always amazed at how long and how consistently we have to work at healing the emotional damage of childhood. The good news is that we're all still here, feeding, watering and weeding our lives; making sense of what we can and learning to live with the things that make no sense. I raise a toast to each of us!

 

[ironrite]

Why I Never Went to College...

Ah high school, where dreams get smashed. I wanted to draw cars for Detroit since I was a little kid. In short, to be an automobile stylist. I had a wonderful, supportive art teacher in grade school. But in high school, I had a horrible, mean spirited one. My first councilor was marking time to his retirement, so he was no help. The second counselor wanted me to come over to his house to "swim." I was rather clueless at the time.

Nobody suggested scholarships or student loans to help with the $10K/year it would have cost to go to design school and that was in 1973 money. By my senior year I was pretty much done with school, just trying to get through it to get my diploma. I was also workin part time and spent my hard earned money on the latest double knit polyester fashions.

Luckily, I still have my graphic design to play with and my working career turned primarily to the banking field, so it's kept bread on the table and gas in the car.

Now, to give a bit of cheer, find out another reason why I didn't go to college! It helps to have a high speed connection to view the movie.

http://www.videoranch.com/html/sororitygirlsfromhelllarge.html

 

[DADoES]

OMG. I LOVE Lois Bromfield!

Bad time in school ... yup, been there, done that, details not for public consumption.

 

[hoover1060]

Do you remember the kid.....

Who was ALWAYS the last one when teams were picked in gym class?
That was me.
I was picked on unmercifully through grade school and Jr high, high school was easier because it was a large school(2200 students) and I could just lose myself on the crowd. Probably why I to this day hate being in any form of limelight whatsoever.
I was labeled a "fag" early on by the other kids, probably before I knew what it meant. Parents are ok and accept me for who/what I am, but I suspect because of their ages they don't fully understand either. They are in their 80's now, and I will treasure them as long as I have them.

 

[appnut]

Grades 4-6 were torture because I was made fun of because of my eyesight (lack thereof) as well as me wearing a brace and the cerebral palsy. (My dad told me perfect strangerss would come up tomy mother in the grocery store or other public places telling her I should be ihnstitutionalized rather than being raised at home) The other erason was because at this time I was mainstreamed rather than in special education. The teachers kept a close eye on me and were supportive and made sure I was always positioned in class so I could have the best vantage point to see. That too set me up. I too was always the last one picked for any mandatory playground activity. I went back into special ed from jr. high on. I was also called a retard because I rode on a special size bus. HIgh school was much better. I was an almost equal lol. My stature really improved when befriended by two of the major football players (woof). I was never even given the option to go to PE class, which was fine tho. College was when I finally came into my own and had numerous friends. Every summer during college my parents would open the lake house for a 4th of July type party/bar-b-que. They were all my fraternity brothers & sisters. My parents beamed because I finally had genuine friends. Fortunately, I guess, I never was bestowed the adjective fag. I guess I was in a protective mode cuz I saw the ridicule in highschool of a couple of classmates. I didn't need further disdain heaped upon me than what my life had alerady further endured.

 

[westytoploader]

Wow, reading these stories puts everything in perspective on what all of you had to go through. I know I wouldn't have survived and I admire the fact that you kept going and didn't give up.

4th grade was a BIG change for me due to the fact that I was in a different town and not going to a private school. Not knowing what to expect, I dressed mainly in "uniform" that year and looked like a complete dork. And yes, I got a few remarks about it too. Though you probably wouldn't believe it after the Convention, I'm a VERY shy person and it took quite a bit of adjustment. Although I was very studious the whole time, and by 5th grade I started getting the hang of things and making friends...that year was definitely more fun. 6th grade was the year the kids from the other Intermediate school and our school switched over, and I became friends with even MORE, but let's just say I had a lot of "other" problems. 7th grade improved dramatically (I was inducted into NJHS at the end), and 8th grade was the best out of my Junior High days...and it's worth noting that I finally started using AIM to talk to friends online that year.

High school for me finally rolled around in 2003, (going to a cool, retro, 1970-vintage school no less), and Freshman year we were all pretty close as this was our first year there! Aside from talking to friends online and on the phone, going to Young Life, football/volleyball games and hanging out, becoming fluent in Spanish, and participating in drama and other extracurricular activities, 9th and 10th grade were boring, to say the least. Nothing really eventful happened, except for washing!

This year, my Junior year (11th) has been the best so far. I actually was voted one of the class Student Council representatives for the first time ever (and keep in mind they had StuCo since 5th grade), have been inducted into NHS, and like any other high schooler, started going to parties (LOL). I've always been a "late bloomer", so to speak (didn't go to my first dance until 8th grade), but you could probably say that I have finally become more adjusted and out of the shell after 7 years. Why I didn't do this earlier I will never know and probably missed out on quite a few things, but it's better late than never.

I'm glad I share a fascination with appliances with everyone on this group, and we're all open with emotions here. That says something good right there.

--Austin

 

[jasonl]

Appnut: I would have to say that had I been born sometime in the 50s, I would've probably been put in an institution, because of people being ignorant to my birth defect. Even in 1971, the doctor told me dad that I was going to be "retarded" (yes, 1970s terminology). I proved them wrong.

 

[DADoES]

Jason, I don't know much about what all is involved with Moebius Syndrome, but I would never have equated it with retardation, even before I met you personally. I hope you're having a good laugh on all of "them!"

 

[air-waycharlie]

John thanks for.........

John,

Thanks for your post about why some of us spell G_d the way we do. I was raised in a semi-orthodox Jewish family, (now I am a recovering Jew), and that was the only way I had seen it spelled until I ventured out in the world.

I have a friend who is a retired Espiscopalian minister and we talked about it briefly one time. When I saw Toggle's post, I assumed immediately that he was Jewish and I thought like you, how nice to know that some people still observe those old religious teachings.

Over the years people have asked me about it when I have written things that had the name of G_d in it for one reason or another. In my own searching, I found my mother was of Koyhan descent, (priests of the original Temple) and my father was of Yisroyel descent. No wonder we were spelling G_d the way we were in my parents home!

Back to the subject at hand, yah, I was the school fag, (faggola for the Yiddish inclined), but I drove a hearse and provided lots of beer, (it was the 60's people, the Mary Jane came in college), so they didn't burn me at the steak. My parents had a summer home that we would go to, to partake in all of all kinds of abominations and my twin sister would keep the knuckle dragging dolts from tar and feathering me while I was doing my best Diana Ross and The Supremes imitations. Thank G_d she was a knockout!

So, like so many others that survived it all, now I am a Chief Stewardess earning a living and collecting vintage vacuums, vintage stewardess uniforms and vintage GM lux-o-boats. Works for me!

Charlie

 

[petek]

And Charlie you'd still look fab as a 39 y.o. June bride.

 

[spiralactivator]

High school still gives me nightmares sometimes. It was a small school, in a horrible little community where everybody knew everybody's business. I got tortured for everything, from the fact that my mom drove an old car ('79 LTD) to the fact that I had an orthopedic problem and couldn't walk without crutches for two years. Basically I was the male version of Carrie, without the cool telekinetic powers (and I skipped the prom).

The faculty was even worse. It was like pulling teeth to get them to make any sort of allowances for a person with a disability, laws or no laws. My mother met with the middle-school principle to discuss my options during the time I couldn't walk. "I have nothing to offer you," the principal said. "Do YOU have any suggestions." When Mom said she wasn't there for a fight, the principal asked, "Then what are you here FOR?"

A lot of the time I got teased in class, in front of teachers who made no attempt to stop it; some of them even joined in. (Not to mention the fact that these teachers were dumb as posts. The old bag who taught English pronounced "albeit" as "allbite.") During my senior year of high school I took issue with how it was being treated. The principal and two teachers handled it by getting me into a room and screaming at me as loudly as they could--ie, they were the authority figures and could do as they saw fit, etc. When I started dry heaving, they realized I could sue and backed off. At graduation (2001) I was the only person not hugging everybody and yelling "I love you!" at the school.

 

[drmitch]

It`s how you look at it!

I went to a school with several rough children and over the years I slowly realised after being beaten up every day at school that I was actually helping these poor kids. A type of therapy if you will. I know it hurt me a lot at the time, but it quiet possibly made better citzens out of these childern by improving their social and athletic skills. People in my comunity will probably never know the service that I have provided in the 12 years that I was in school, but I`m very proud to have done my part in helping improve my society. DRM